Private:
You were? I'm sorry. I think a lot of what I was doing in mine was trying to die for a long time. I know that it felt pretty horrible there and I'd have done about anything to make that happen, even if it had hurt other people. Letting circumstances turn me into what it did made me want there.
I think...if you had wanted to and it was the only way to help, I would have been willing. But then I wouldn't have you now.