I know exactly what you mean. I was a Big Deal when I was younger and nowadays I've got the string of women, men, alcohol, money, the whole thing. It feels so meaningless. I want to become more I want to do more and it's hard to figure out how. I have a girlfriend who I've had a long time now, true, but...I still feel like I wasted so much time and I'll never make up for it, or for the horrible things I've done...