Do any of your patrons need face repair? Do they spring leaks, especially in the abdominal region? Broken bottle put through their forehead? Wounds caused by eating utensils? Lost a toe?
Send them to Dr. Mayuri Magical Clinic (of Cosmetic Surgery). The expert technicians in the clinic are not afraid of the hard luck cases resulting in physical abnormalities, caused by drunken idiots. We are also running half price to compete with local ERs and I am medically certified to conduct surgery.
Are you sure you aren't interested? I am attempting to work on my sales pitch also! Without the use of cat pictures with words emblazoned across it!