You sound like me when the dreams started happening to me. I didn't go for help, and wound up in jail, hurting a lot of people by trying to keep away from them (weird contradictory thing, but there's a lot of ways to hurt people) , and really just made things that much worse by waiting. I'm still trying to get up the guts to get the help, but I know I need it. It takes a lot of guts, like Wrex said up there, to admit to this stuff, or to admit it to yourself, but it's one of those things where I think it's better to try it ahead of time.
Hey, I know we're just online strangers at this point but I'll make a deal to go if you do.