Private response to poster. They're We're of Scandinavian descent. Somewhere, generations back.
He's not the one who's intimidating or threatening. Or rather, he is, but it's nothing he's done to make himself that way. He claims everything for himself; attention, resources, affection, and I just don't have anything extra to give. I know that sounds selfish, but I don't know how else to put it.
I don't blame him, but I find it hard to give when everyone else is so eager.
It sounds as if your situation with your brothers is somewhat different. Are they genuinely violent?