Roy Harper is No One's Sidekick (imnosidekick) wrote in valarnet, @ 2012-10-17 21:17:00 |
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Current mood: | contemplative |
Entry tags: | candy quackenbush, clint barton (hawkeye), loki odinson, navi, roy harper (red arrow) ii |
Things I've Learned From Ollie Queen:
Okay, okay. Last night and the aftermath of it, (yeah, Ollie came over here, no, I'm fine, he brought me groceries and labeled tupperware containers full of food most normal people have never heard of. What the hell is jicama, valarnet? It looks like some kind of vegetable puree? Do I pronounce that the way it looks, or the Spanish way?) and Zevran, have gotten me thinking about the things Ollie's actually taught me. So, so that I don't always look like a completely ungrateful asshole, here's a list of stuff I've learned from him, when it's actually been me, as far as I know at least.
1. Shooting out the car window isn't the worst thing in the world
2. You steep the cannabis in the butter, but don't put it in the brownies alone.
3. Rubber...products... collect bacteria, silicone don't as much. This is the difference between porus and non porus substances.
3 b. Just because your science teacher freaks out at that explanation doesn't mean it's wrong, and if school wants you to remain ignorant of the facts, it's better to get a day off anyway.
4. Drinking clear alcohol means you get over the hangover faster due to a lack of impurities.
5. Nobody you ever want to see in a kilt ever wears one. It's always the old fat guys.
6. All the chivalry in the world doesn't make up for one well placed arrow.
7. Age and skill versus youth and treachery? Try skill and treachery.
8. Meat is murder. ...Until Memorial day rolls around.
9. Don't get cocky when you've pulled off something awesome. Someday, someone's gonna come along and beat you.
10. Aim small, miss small
11. The bruises you EARN are awesome.
12. Largess. Not just a buzzword, but something you actually DO.
13. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by two men or one man by two women. Or one man being loved by two or... Play around with those gender definitions till they suit what you prefer, it's not something to get picky about. Point is, you don't have to have just one. Historical precedence says so.
14. It's only money. If you have more than you need, then other people should have some too.
15. "If I ever hear you shopped at Walmart/bought Starbucks/Drove something that's not a hybrid or Smart Car, I will kick your ass. And you have no soul."
16. 30 over IS kind of excessive. Even if the car can reach it.
17. Hot foods? 140 F or above. Cold ones? 40 F or below. This isn't a suggestion.
18. No means no. No matter who's asking, you have the right to say it and so do other people. Consent is sexy, yo.
19. How to eat with a dagger.
20. It's okay to brush your teeth with beer.
21. Guys worry about runs in their stockings too.
22. Household doesn't mean we're in a commune. Weirdo.
23. Camping always involves UHauls. Sometimes multiple.
24. Halloween is not the time to wear your garb (TAKE NOTE BARTON)
25. How to address royalty when they're a duke, knight, AND prince.
26. When the school calls to address the fact you've written a paper about how much fun it was to murder people at the war, they're the ones who are crazy.
26 b. Just smile nicely at the school shrink when you're asked to discuss this. She doesn't know any better either.
27. SCA DOES stand for Silly Cretins in Armor. Just don't tell the chivalry.
28. How to tell when somebody's already dead.
29. Cooking is serious business.
30. Use too much force and your shots go WAY off course.
...That last one, uh. I needed that reminder, I guess. And now I feel like an asshole. Sorry.