ωєιѕѕ ѕ¢нηєє (notmadeofstone) wrote in valarnet, @ 2019-06-02 15:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | amycus carrow, feyre archeron, james, ozma, weiss schnee |
In honor of Pride Month, I thought I'd share a little bit about... I suppose, my journey. I'm not normally the type of person to spill my personal life all over social media, honestly, but this is one of those causes that I feel is especially important. We should be vocal about this. A younger generation is coming up, and visibility is so very important to them.
I absolutely did not know that I always preferred women. My entire life has been so planned and manipulated, down to the last detail, that it never came up. I knew I disliked advances from the usual suspects - most of them boys my father desperately wanted me to get together with. At that time, spurning them was the only act of defiance I had available to me and I must have thought it was more about rebellion than preferences.
I did have a crush on someone in boarding school - a few stolen kisses one night after a party - but my father soon ruined her life and the life of her entire family for a completely different reason, and the experience was filed away with her sudden departure.
When [name removed for her sake] came into my life, I noticed her immediately. I think at first there was some confusion - If you've seen the YouTube video, you understand this 'I don't know if I want to be you or be on you' phenomenon. But it was definitely attraction, and that created an entire mess of new problems for me. In 2019, as progressive as things have gotten, you wouldn't think that anyone would still have to hide who they are, or who they love. But if you've been following the news, you know exactly the kind of monster my father is. And so we had to love each other in secret, and that was honestly the hardest few months of my life.
The things my father made me do, the things he did to her, and to me, are unforgivable. We should never have to live in fear like this. He took us both hostage, forced me to beard, and physically hurt us. He used her against me, and tried to convince me that I wasn't who I thought - that it was some trick she'd played on me. Worst of all, some of it sunk in. I started wondering if I was really gay at all, or if I'd only thought so to lash out at him. But he has absolutely no power over me now, and I know who I am. I know who I love, and who I prefer.
I already came out in a press conference a few months ago, but those are boring meetings that few people ever go to. So let me say it again: I, Weiss Schnee, am a Lesbian. And if you haven't already thrown your support behind the Equality Act, please consider it. I personally have diverted some funds to lobbying for it, but I know that not everyone has that kind of cash just sitting around. Social media posts and letters are just as effective.