But never fear. We've a cool, air-conditioned tavern here at The Hanged Man. Our latest special involves seeing whose the lucky bastard who can locate all of the phallic symbols carved around the establishment - one can guess who is the artist behind that - and come to me with the accurate number and show me all the locations. This lucky winner will get a complimentary keg of our home-brewed Rat's Dropping (it's a beer, tastes better than it sounds, I promise) and a free week of all-you-can-drink-and-eat.
And a chance to grab my bum, so don't miss out on this.