Private
It gets easier. Or, at least, it gets easier pretending. I've got a lifetime of trying to forget shit under my belt.
... Yeah, okay, being fed people is kind of fucking disgusting. Your dad sounds like a creep. Maybe you can't protect the dead, but you can damn well try to make things right by them or their memory or whatever. Anyway, even if you killed all these folks with your own bare hands, the things you gotta do to survive don't dictate who you are. The FBI can call you whatever they want, don't mean you gotta be what they expect.