As opposed to the bird that's more likely to taste like chicken?? I mean, just...don't eat your pirate pets.
Gangsta's Paradise can play in the background as we sail. Or I'm On A Boat. Both are pretty appropriate.
Side note: I'm so glad we can discuss this kind of crap again because for the longest time I was convincing myself you were running a month-long errand for like, the holy grail of ice cream or something.