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нawĸe (maleficar) wrote in valarnet, @ 2015-11-25 08:57:00

There's a glorious, glorious man I met in the dreams last night. Could perhaps benefit from a nose job, he's not all that tall (he's a dwarf), but he can probably talk me out of my own pants and has chest hair so majestically curly I can't take my eyes off it. I'm sure the phrase 'my eyes are up here' applies to him in this situation. He's also the only person I know who names his crossbow and treats it like a lover, but alright.

I've also paid off my servitude after a year for gaining entrance in that charming shithole of a city, and apparently am making strides to get on board with an expedition that takes you underground for treasure. Assuming we don't get killed by dark spawn things and ogres before we get to the loot.

Oh, and get this. One item I get from that wretched place: a cheese wheel caked in a year's worth of mold. No, really. It's a legitimate thing that stayed in a corner of my Uncle's dirt cave for an entire year. I swear it's alive.

Just in time for the holidays. I'm so blessed.