Everyone's haunted by something you know. And maybe I ain't never been a nutcase, so I guess I don't know what's up. But I did do that whole doing anything I could to numb my emotions thing, and the whole giving up hope so I don't have no regrets, and just sitting and watching the world go by without me thing. When I died, that was the thing I regretted most. Moreso than any of the shitty things that I did or that happened to me, I regretted not living when I had the chance. It's much nicer over here on the side of the living than over there where you might as well be dead. Maybe it's different if you're batshit, I couldn't tell ya.
If you don't live when you're alive, your soul will rot.