You'd notice if you were eating too much fiber, trust me. Can't go wrong with that. I was just equipped with a particular set of skills, one of which was being able to see things like that and react like it was just another Tuesday.
People always think you're the most philosophical when you're in the shower. These people have obviously never had to just lay down on the floor and pretend they didn't feel like they were dying a little bit. I don't know what you do for a living, but treat your back with the utmost respect. Trust me on this.
That's more a compliment you should pass on to my parents than me. Here's hoping that's how this all works out.