Lydia
It was horrible. It was... I don't know, luck I guess, that agreeing to be a living wife seemed to make him relent and no one died and I was allowed to leave. Learning about yourself sounds like it would be necessary, despite what it may lead to. It's part of you though, so being curious makes sense despite the mythos of banshees.
No one can ever know exactly what someone has gone through. And it's easier to judge based on what we see in Dreams than believe things can be different. "Experience", or whatever you want to call it. It's not fair, but it's human nature. It's harder to be open to learning who someone is here and some people just don't want to put that effort in when they already have their minds made up. I think I read something in a psychology book though about why it's easier to remember the bad instead of the good. I can't remember the term, but there's a term for it.