Can you at least try to understand why I reacted badly? You always make it seem like I was some unreasonable bitch. I have my own reasons for wanting to believe that people can be different than who they are in their dreams. Don't you want to be wrong? Sometimes it feels like you're just waiting for an excuse to say I told you so. We shouldn't just preemptively condemn people for things they haven't done or just wait for them to turn into their dream selves. Shouldn't we try to help them? Wouldn't you want someone to help you? To believe in you?
I know he was the person who bit me. I looked right in his face when he did. But that doesn't mean the goofy accountant who drives slow and sings songs from Nightmare Before Christmas is going to come over tomorrow to kill me. I'll be lying if I said I wasn't scared, if seeing that huge beast doesn't still terrify me, but I don't want to blame him for it. He didn't attack me. Another version of him attacked another version of me and I woke up dying.
Forgive me if I never got the idea you ever cared all that much about me. It's not a secret we stopped getting along over something we've fought over enough times already. Honestly? I'm tired of fighting over it because I don't think either of us are going to change how we feel. But I didn't hate you in the beginning. But with all this stuff about Peter, all the stuff with you and Cora and Derek, it made it really hard for me to believe you cared about me or Cora.
Sometimes people don't want to accept an "I'm sorry," and I'm not ready to right now. I'm still in a lot of pain, I'm still really terrified that any dream I can get from now on could land me back in the hospital. I'm afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of things I didn't know were real. I'm not in a great place right now, and maybe I'm being more antagonistic than I should be, but can you blame me?
What did I ever say that was unfounded? If I ever talked about you, I only talked about what you said to me about how you believed Peter was bound to turn into what his dreams was and that I didn't agree. Back then, I was annoyed, but I never singled you out. I don't ever remember sending out a mass broadcast complaining about you. I'm sure you've complained about me and that's fine because you're entitled to call me an ignorant bitch or an idiot or whatever.
I'm angry and I'm frustrated and sorry it's at you, but right now, you're the only person I know that's got as much information about this other world. You knew about Peter before I did, you knew about that huge thing, you know about whatever you're talking about here. We've fought for months over stupid shit and we're not responsible for each other, but at least we could have just said something. If I had a dream about you getting attacked and torn apart by something, I'd like to think I'd look passed my stupid anger at you to at least say something, even if it ended in me being angry again any way.
And if you were willing to try to make up for our petty feud, I never got that idea. I'm pretty sure the last time we talked was at least a month ago. I know I didn't make an effort to make up, but if you wanted to, you could have tried. Maybe we wouldn't be having another fight right now over this.
If you want an apology, at least try to meet me halfway. I'm not the villain here and it feels like that's what you're turning me into. We're both at fault here.