I meant I'd just judge myself for my own perceived weakness by not facing it. I can't face myself in the mirror doesn't mean I don't try. It isn't the new scars every morning, or the blood on the sheets. I just can't recognize the person looking back anymore. You're different, maybe you see a woman staring back who isn't changed. Maybe you see a woman who is changed but it's easier to look at her. I'm not you, so I can't make any judgement about it, nor should I.
If I don't write about it I internalize it, which is the last thing I should be doing, really.
Moping implies I'm doing nothing but laying around all day angsting over my inner turmoil at the dreams turning me into a hardened survivor with PTSD. I've got too much work to do to let myself be paralyzed by it.