Thor is Odin's first born, golden prince and and you are the bronze prince. You have utter freedom, but there was never an expectation that you rule after Odin-slept.
I am sorry you have to endure such a fate. It hardly seems a befitting end to such a brilliant intellect. Loki, if you want I could recommend you to meet with a certain doctor that may be able to help you process your dreams and moderate your fluctuating emotional state.