Sigrun Gard
I understand. Things can get a little dicey with that, but you may have some options. There are a few companies here run by dreamers, including a government agency with some military applications. Might be that, if need be, you could get an interagency transfer/recruitment.
I appreciate how hard it is to ask for help. I've never been very good at it myself. But I will do my damnedest to help, and to not make you feel bad about it, at the same time.