Sigrun & Canaan
I can't really say Shanghai was a retirement for me. I just took fewer side jobs while I was there, and the one long job I was on was really slow paced at first. It was the first time in my life I had 'free time' and I had no idea what to do with it.
They say that when pressed, Killing is as easy as breathing. I'm sure there are plenty of people who internally agonize over how easy it is to even fire off a weapon - to injure, let alone to kill. I just can't say I was one of them. It took a long time to come to terms with the fact that I needed to do something else with my hands besides that.