Pft, so just claim 'European' as your heritage and do European things like... drink fancy coffees and look down your nose at the Americans? And be very punctual. I hear they're extremely punctual in Sweden and Germany.
Hmm... no, that might not work out so well for you. I'm sure some part of you would want to kick the other part of you's ass, especially if you wanted to adopt some French tendencies. According to the infographics, no one likes France.