Tessa | Dean
I couldn't hold on to him. I fought so hard to get us both out and at the last second I just...I lost him. And now he just looks at me like he can't understand why I would ever think I let him down, that I failed him in any way.
He hasn't started yet, but hell if I'm not terrified he will and it'll just prove this sense I had at the end of the dream that...that this wasn't the first time I'd let him down.
I don't know how I'm supposed to hold myself together. I drink too much as it is. Any more and my ass is going to be in the hospital with a dozen different tubes coming out.