You're still telling stories to those women, there? How have they not picked you up and carried you off yet, short n' hairy? Is that pub even there now?
Mr. Match, you'll find no better bawdy tale teller than Varric. No one can write a sexy pirate scene better than he can. But if he offers to put you in a story of his, know that at some points, you'll probably be losing your pants.