I know next to nothing about your circumstances, but I do know something about hardship. It's easy to steer a boat when the ocean is calm. But when the waves throw themselves across the bow, lightning strikes the mast and sharks circle eagerly beneath...that's when you find out if you're a good sailor. That's when you find your strength. Turn to the love others bore you throughout your life, and the love you had to give. Use that, make it into strength and sail home.
Apologies for the poor analogy and if I'm just an old man with no clue, but please, do your best. People are usually much stronger than they think they are.