ETA: I've calmed down some. Arthur says I ought to explain myself when I use profanities.
I left for work this morning, got into the car, and noticed my trousers were missing. How embarrassing. Went inside, put them on, process repeated. By about the forth time I was somehow only in my shirt and shorts. I've taken a sick day and am working from home this week. It's better for my blood pressure this way.