Jeez. When it's happened to me it, well, we all expected we could end up gone at any minute so it was different. There's a kind of mental preparation there, I guess.
Numb is...yeah. Numb tends to happen around stuff like this. It's not your fault or anything if it stays that way for a long time either. People are going to be telling you this a lot but there's no wrong way to go around grieving.