Who: Zuko, Pansy, then Draco When: 4/13 Where: Their place What: A surprise encounter in the bathroom Rating/Warnings: Pansy’s naked. Pies are thrown. But not literally. Status: Complete
They hadn’t been back from vacation very long, now. Really, only a day or three. But it was so obvious that things were different now, and Zuko was trying very hard to be a good sort of boyfr-- er, husband -- (he’d never get used to that. then again, it would also never get old).
It made sense, of course, that since he and Draco were married they should probably live together. That was what married people did, right? Right? Technically, Zuko’s condo was nicer. Bigger, more modern. Nicer bathroom. But he didn’t technically own it, so much as his father had (and he was still sorting out his feelings on that one), and so in the end, despite niceness, the decision had been made that Draco’s place would probably just be safer.
It was a three bedroom, so it wasn’t like there wasn’t enough space for the two of them and Pansy. And Zuko liked Pansy. He saw no reason to disrupt the current living situation any more than he already was.
And so, with the few boxes and odds and ends he’d bothered packing so far sitting around the apartment, Zuko figured he should probably start considering this home.
Pansy liked Zuko. A lot. She thought that Zuko and Draco were good for one another, and she was glad to see the happiness that their relationship brought out in both of them. She just didn’t like the feeling that she and Draco were drifting apart. Maybe it started with her dating Peter, or maybe it started when she realized she wasn’t actually a Malfoy. In any case, the feeling grew worse when he came home and told her he’d gotten married. Without even texting her to let her know about it.
So, she’d been a bit grumpy. It would pass, surely, but there you have it. Currently she wasn’t exactly her bubbly, happy, Pansy-like self. Meaning, she didn’t announce to the whole apartment that she was going to get in the bath. She lit some candles (very un-Pansy like, but perhaps it would help pull her out of her stupor), put some music on her iPad (waterproof headphones), and climbed into the bubbly water to relax.
When the album ended, she tugged the earbuds from her ears, and climbed up out of the tub to grab a towel. Her fingers were wrinkly.
And Zuko? Well. He didn’t know that Pansy normally announced her baths. How could he, really? Sure, he’d stayed over plenty of times in the last few months, but usually only on random nights when the idea of bath time was long over.
And he was used to living alone. Well and truly alone. That meant that sometimes he didn’t think about things like knocking on doors -- or, hell, even thinking about why a door might be closed at all. And why should he have? Even when he hadn’t lived alone, it’d been in a mansion -- he’d had his own bathroom.
Sharing. Was not something he understood not completely.
So it was no wonder at all when he walked into the bathroom at the exact same time that Pansy was getting out of the bathtub.
The door opened. Why was the door opening? Was that Draco? CRAP. Zuko lived in the apartment with them now. Pansy wasn’t exactly frozen in place with surprise, but she wasn’t scrambling--at least, not for that first second or so. Her arm was stretched out, reaching for a towel, and her wet, slightly soapy, naked form was standing upright, one leg in and one leg out of the tub.
She was a deer in the headlights.
If she was the deer in the headlights, what did that make Zuko? The headlights? Or just another terribly shocked deer?
He stood -- hand on the doorknob -- his eyes comically wide and mouth completely agape. As much as he wanted to, he was unable to either look away or make a noise.
The painfully long millisecond had to end eventually, right? RIGHT? Pansy’s hand finally came down to rest on the soft, fluffy towel that she’d set on the closed toilet by the bath for easy access. Apparently not easy enough, though, as she lifted it to wrap it around herself, the damn thing wouldn’t unfold!
Now she started to flail a little. The Deer-Headlights-Deer-Shock-Whatever moment was interrupted by Pansy’s hand reaching the towel, then frantically tugging at it to get it unfolded. She was still too shocked to speak.
This scene was playing out very, very badly. And it was bad that Zuko could even think something like that before he could even get his body to respond from this sudden, awkward shock. Her sudden movement spurned on his own though, and the only thing he could think to do was throw his hands over his eyes -- nearly slapping himself in his own face in his haste. “Oh my god, oh my god,” he said, usually gravelly tone high with an unreasonable panic. It should have occurred to him to leave the room -- and yet, there he was, nearly gouging his eyes out in the doorway whilst chanting something that would eventually maybe be an apology.
Finally Pansy thought to bring her other hand up to the towel, unfolding it in the air in front of her. It took far, far too long for her to cover her body with it, and by the time she got it wrapped around herself her hands were shaking. It would be awesome and hilarious later. Hopefully. “It’s okay!” She cried out in response to what she assumed was some sort of apology coming from him, though her blood was thundering in her ears in her embarrassment and she couldn’t really make out what he was saying.
“Oh my goddddd,” Zuko said again, because it really wasn’t okay on so many levels. For some reason, even though it was his eyes that he’d covered, Zuko was now talking more loudly, as if he was confused about the differences between eye and ear covering. “I am so sorry,” he said, actually finding the apology this time. “Holy shit, seriously. So sorry!” Yet, for as sorry as he said he was, he still didn’t think to just bolt.
Well, it wasn’t as if he’d walked in on her on purpose. And she hadn’t... y’know... flashed her boobs in his face on purpose. ...and other parts. Damn. She’d been completely... completely naked. Nose to toes, not a stitch. Only bubbles from the bath. That was making her face flush again, and she was trying her best to... forget? Ignore? Whatever, get over it? That was her defense mechanism. And why was he still in the bathroom? “Really. Dude. It’s okay,” she said, even though she agreed. It wasn’t really okay. “Just um... I should really... Robe? Or something.” Her robe was hanging on the back of the door. She gestured feebly at it.
There was nothing okay about it. One: rude. Two: rude. Three? Well, he had just ogled his husband’s sister up. And that was fucked up for all sorts of reasons. “Sorry! Fuck!” Zuko said, because he was eloquent like that. He closed his eyes shut tightly, fumbled for her bathrobe also, and then once he’d found it, he threw it in her general direction. “I am -- no. I have to go now,” he said, suddenly realizing his most current foley and backing out of the room awkwardly; bumping roughly into the doorframe due to a refusal to open his eyes.
There really were no words for the awkward that was happening. It was so thick it was almost hard to breathe for it. Pansy reached both hands forward when the robe was chucked in her direction, and managed to catch it. But, of course, the towel she’d been holding up and around her body fell down in a pile around her feet as she did so. Damn. Hopefully Zuko’s eyes were shut so tight he wouldn’t see. She scrambled to pull the robe on and cover herself once more.
This was definitely not a relaxing end to a nice, long bath.
Draco was completely unaware of what had just happened in the bathroom, he’d been lounging around in the living room not thinking to warn Zuko as Pansy hadn’t announced her bath intentions. He knew his sister was still a bit resentful that he’d gotten married without telling her but other than apologising, which he’d done a number of times, there was very little he could do to make things better. He’d simply have to wait for her to forgive him.
Hearing a slight commotion in the hallway he got up just in time to see Zuko bump into the doorframe with his eyes shut, “Zuk, what on earth are you doing?” he asked his voice laced with amusement.
“Naked” Zuko sputtered out, still in that weird state of panic, as if since he’d gotten there he wasn’t quite sure how to back down from it. “I didn’t mean to, I swear!” Because that was what people said in a situation like this, right? Or a variant of it? It’s not what it looks like. Zuko finally thought to turn around, eyes still shut tightly even as he bumped into Draco.
Pansy had her robe on now. Thankfully. She tied it tight, making sure it was overlapping and covering her whole body. Honestly, she’d be more comfortable in footy pajamas now than anything else. With a hood. Cover as much skin as humanly possible on her way from the bathroom to her bedroom. “I have got to move out.” She whispered to herself, then finally pushed forward and opened the bathroom door. Her face was quite pink from that whole ordeal.
“...yeah, um... I guess I should have mentioned I was in the bath.” She said, trying to give Draco a sheepish smile. Though it came off as more of a grimace than anything else.
Draco automatically put an arm around Zuko as he blindly bumped into him, between Zuko’s spluttering and Pansy’s explanation he realised what had happened. He couldn’t control the laughter that bubbled up, which was probably not particularly helpful right now. “Sorry” he apologised as he stopped giggling, “Maybe lock the door next time” he suggested easily, rubbing Zuko’s back.
Zuko shook his head, his panic slowly melting away into a vague, horrified embarrassment. Draco laughing wasn’t much of a help, but he supposed he couldn’t really blame the other boy. It was like a bad sitcom. And he’d been a sucker to somehow prompt the situation starting. “I’m so sorry,” he said again -- eyes refusing to go anywhere near Pansy, although he was kind of thinking about how yes, it might have been really nice if she’d locked the door, and maybe (just maybe) this wasn’t his fault. Nevermind the fact that he could have knocked.
Pansy had never had to lock a door to the bathroom before. It was just assumed that if the door was closed and the light was showing through the bottom crack, it was occupied, right? She was going to lock every door from now on. Her bedroom, too. Last thing in the world she wanted was for something to swing open and expose her again. And Draco’s laughter? Not helping. Not really. Okay, maybe it was helping a little. Pansy was trying really, really hard to suppress a smirk. “Maybe knock next time.” Pansy said, then stepped carefully around the two boys in the hall so she could flee to her room and hide for the rest of her life.
Draco pressed a kiss to the side of Zuko’s head, “Nobody’s fault babe” he assured his husband, “It was just an accident” A really funny accident but still. They’d laugh as much as him later... possibly.
“Combination of locking and knocking should make sure everybody’s bits stay private” Draco agreed with a smirk. Making a mental note to lock their own bedroom door too, because to be fair to Pansy she wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been locking doors.
“I’m never entering another room without shouting first again,” Zuko said, because even at his best he was a melodramatic sort of man. Also, he didn’t like admitting he was wrong, so he said nothing at all about that whole knocking thing. Who even did that? He hid his face in Draco’s shoulder for a while for good measure.
Pansy nodded, skirting around the boys in the hall and heading straight to her room. It was kinda funny. Kinda. She hated that it was funny. Both funny and mortifying. In any case, she was glad it was over. “Right. Shouting, locking and knocking. Then it’ll never happen again. Never. Again.” She said, then ducked inside her room and closed the door behind her with a little slam.
She wasn’t planning on coming out until she knew they were either gone or sleeping.
Draco chuckled as Pansy disappeared into her room with a bang, he probably shouldn’t be finding this as amusing as he was. But still, he did think it was funny.
He tightened his arm around Zuko, “Alright?” he asked, “Or do we need therapy to get over you seeing my sister naked?” he teased lightly.
“Therapy, probably,” Zuko said, pulling away a little in order to peek down the hall -- as if the slamming of her door hadn’t been proof enough she’d disappeared. “I have a feeling I am going to have to make up for this through cheeseburgers and booze, aren’t I?”
“You already know her so well” Draco laughed before stealing a quick kiss now that Zuko wasn’t buried in his neck. “I think you’re probably about even in the embarassed stakes, if that’s any comfort”
“It’s not,” Zuko said, but he was starting to relax a little. And okay. Maybe it was a little funny. In a really, really awkward way. He wasn’t going to laugh though. “Maybe we should --er. Go out for a while so she doesn’t have to stay in there all night.”
Draco could feel some of the tension leave Zuko and smiled to himself, “Sure” he said easily, “Where do you want to go? Just take a walk? We could maybe catch a movie?” he shrugged. He didn’t mind in all honestly.
“Doesn’t matter,” Zuko said, pleased that he’d remembered what word contractions were again. Sometimes he just forgot. It was weird. “Somewhere... knocking isn’t an issue that comes up.”