Gaz Membrane will destroy you. (gameslave2) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-03-25 22:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, gaz membrane, kitty pryde (shadowcat) |
Who: Gaz and Kitty.
What: Goodbye kiss.
When: Sunday afternoon.
Where: Kitty's.
Rating: R for Gaz's mouth.
Status: Complete!
Kitty had avoided Gaz during the whole singing thing, especially after she’d embarrassed herself so badly on the net. Even though she’d shrugged it all off in conversations, she’d realized she was standing very close to the edge of the cliff when it came to the painter.
She didn’t know how much was the natural attraction and how much was the potential for something more, or how much was her aching heart, and so she’d taken the excuse to avoid her and run with it. Until Gaz had her date and Kitty’s problem sort of solved itself.
She hadn’t wanted it to be solved, though. But she couldn’t be upset with Gaz, it wasn’t fair.
Gaz had told Kitty she could have one kiss. Just so she’d know. Gaz didn’t think she’d want to be with Kitty as opposed to Erik - she couldn’t help herself, it had been something very close to love at first sight - but she could give someone a kiss. Those didn’t mean as much to her as they did to most people. Well. When they were with anyone but Erik, it seemed.
She pulled up to Kitty’s on her bike, parked it and hopped off. Ringing the bell, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Wearing a paint-splattered men’s shirt with a belt and some fishnets that had holes in them, it wasn’t hard to guess she was a painter by profession.
Opening the door, Kitty gave Gaz a nervous smile. "Hey. How's the painting coming along?" She stepped aside to let her friend in. She swallowed a lump in her throat. Life wasn't ever fair.
“It’s done.” Gaz reached down to pick up a rolled up canvas that was near her bag. She handed it over to Kitty, picking up her tote bag and walking in. “How are you?”
Hugging it against herself briefly, Kitty shrugged a shoulder. “I’m okay. Better than I was last week. Had an interesting encounter with a burning light arrow of burningness.”
Oh. That made sense. Except not so much at all. Gaz blinked at her. “You got shot?”
“Magic. Kind of. My friend can fire off magic arrows. They’re supposed to cleanse demon influence.” Just being around Gaz made her feel tingly. Kitty was annoyed with herself.
Blue eyes went wide. “I - “ Gaz bit her lip. “Would she shoot anyone who wasn’t doing anything evil?”
"We were sparring. I doubt she'd shoot someone who wasn't doing evil, or wasn't attacking her," Kitty's tone was gentle, reassuring. "It was like all my..rage was burned away. At least the really irrational stuff."
Thank goodness Kitty didn’t catch onto the fact that Gaz was worried about being shot herself. She’d woken up one night a few inches off of the bed, lights flickering in the room, darkness pooling under herself. It was surreal, but she didn’t mind.
“That’s a good thing,” Gaz murmured. “You don’t need it. The rage.”
“I know that now. I was upset when it sunk in, but yeah, I don’t need it. I have a lot more use of the more rational anger.” Kitty smiled, and walked over to the table to unroll the canvas. She’d been dying to see the finished product since the night at Gaz’s.
Gaz sat down, curling her legs under herself. She twined her blue-purple hair into a low ponytail, watching as Kitty saw the way Gaz had painted her. “Maybe you’ll see yourself that way more often now.”
Kitty's eyes widened, as she saw herself as some sort of conquering warrior goddess. No fear in her eyes, and guided not by anger or vengeance but by noble goodness. Her lip quivered, and she felt her knees go a little wobbly.
"Wow...Gaz...wow."
That did make Gaz smile, a seldom used, little curve of a thing. “You’re welcome.”
Few things warmed Kitty like seeing Gaz smile. "I love it... I'll pay you whatever you want. It's amazing." She knew Gaz didn't need the money, but it was still work and it was still something amazing that Kitty wanted to make sure Gaz was rewarded for.
“You’re not paying me.” Gaz shook her head. “I wanted the practice.” She didn’t need money, and she really did like painting more than anything.
“Okay. I won’t argue with you. You did something you love and that’s enough, right?” Kitty would have to get it framed. She knew where she’d want to put it. For now, she rolled it up and put it safely behind a door. She sat next to Gaz. Unsure.
“Exactly.” Swinging her legs a little, Gaz smiled again. Kitty was one of the people she felt most at ease with. One of her few friends. “So, did I show you the things I can do?”
"You showed me the things you can do," Kitty said, smiling. She was relaxing again. Their dynamic had shifted, slightly. She'd cried out her angst (and drank it out with Neena, and fucked it out with Alicia...okay and talked it out with them too). So she could look at Gaz without feeling weird. And talking to her now she felt like it would be okay.
“I got ... something else.” Gaz shifted her weight as she sat. “I dreamed that I can ... well. Uh. Have you ever seen Friday the 13th? Or Halloween?”
“Yeah? What, you dreamed your a slasher? Doesn’t that ruin everybody else’s sex life?”
“I’m not really, no. No, in one of my dreams, this kid lied and said that he was someone else so he could get a game system before me. And um. I sort of followed him until he gave it to me. You know how Jason walks at a normal pace but catches up? I did that. Hung upside down outside a second story window. Levitated. Made his lights go out. With my mind.” She’d leave out the part where she climbed up the outside of a 50 story building and beat the elevator to the roof.
Kitty’s voice was an amused sort of dry as she reached over and brushed the back of her hand along Gaz’s cheek. “Remind me to just preorder a PS4 for you and save someone some trauma.”
“The kid deserved it. He was an ass. ‘Blah blah I’m better than you because I’m a boy’.” Gaz wrinkled her nose. “Jerk. Iggins is a stupid name, too.”
She laughed. “I believe you.” She’d never felt any sort of genuine malice from Gaz. Anyone could be a bitch, but she didn’t think the girl was evil.
Gaz tried to illustrate how different she was by floating a little off of the chair. It looked like darkness was pooling under her, pushing her up. “Good.”
“Cool.” Kitty could take Gaz dancing into the air, herself, but she didn’t offer. She wasn’t sure that would be appropriate. Even in light of the main reason Gaz was here. “Reminds me of a few people.”
Settling back down into her chair, Gaz blinked. “So. Uh.” She moved to sit a little closer to her. “I’m sorry.”
Kitty leaned in and wrapped her arms around Gaz. "Part of me is disappointed. But I can ignore the selfish bitch in me if you can find happy. God knows I tell enough people how fleeting it is."
“He’s gorgeous,” Gaz murmured. “He thinks he’s not, but to me he’s perfect.”
“Good,” Kitty said, snuggling Gaz. “If he makes you feel like this, he has to be.” She didn’t know who he was, obviously, but she’d understand. Her wife had been missing a leg, after all.
“Erik is ... I don’t know. It just worked.” Gaz wouldn’t say she was in love with him. Hell, she didn’t know what love felt like. But she knew she missed him, a tangible, aching thing in her chest that made her wish she could run to him.
Some people would call that a sucking chest wound feeling. Other people would call that love. Kitty smiled at Gaz. “You’ve got this glint in your eyes. It’s really cute.”
“Do I?” She bit her lower lip and ducked her head and did something she didn’t often do. She blushed.
Why did she have to blush? Kitty squeezed her harder. “You do. That actually makes me feel better, so...be happy. Or I’ll kick your ass.”
Looking up, Gaz figured she might as well. Kitty wanted her kiss to see, so she’d give her one. Leaning up, Gaz lightly pressed her lips to Kitty’s, glad she hadn’t worn too much lipstick that day, that she’d put in her smallest lip ring.
Kitty’s eyes fluttered closed, and she leaned into the kiss. She wanted to experience what kissing this woman was like - and she wanted Gaz to know what kissing a real girl was like. As if Bellatrix wasn’t a girl, but that was the general idea. There was a little buzz. It could have been more, given time.
It wasn’t the worst kiss Gaz had been part of. Far better than Bellatrix, and even a little better than Logan. But it wasn’t Erik, and Gaz knew that she’d made her choice. Chuckling a little to herself, Gaz pulled back. “You taste nice.”
“Yeah,” Kitty’s voice sounded a little rough. It wasn’t … passion and hunger, like with Alicia. It wasn’t filled with unspoken emotion like with Xi’an. It was a hell of a lot better than Piotr, and it was... “You do too. Taste like..closure.”
“What’s that taste like?” Gaz couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Something sweet.” Kitty stroked Gaz’s cheek, and felt immeasurably better. She rested her forehead against Gaz’s, and closed her eyes. “You know, I think I love you, but not...” She waved her hand, trying to find the right word.
“Not in love with me?” Gaz squeezed Kitty’s hand. “I think part of it is that I don’t like girls as much.”
“Well, that’s allowed.” Kitty grinned at her. She felt giddy relief. “That could have gotten awkward down the road.”
“Yeah, probably.” Gaz blinked. “You’re okay.”
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m not gonna say that..I won’t wish we could have been more. That would be a lie. But I’ll be okay, as long as we stay friends.” She’ll never get to see her naked, but she could live. Mostly.
“We’ll be friends.” Gaz nodded. “I doubt anyone could not be friends with you.”
“You’d be surprised. But I try.” Kitty winked. “I’d like to meet your guy, sometime. I promise I won’t punch him. Hard.” She was joking, and the look on her face was clearly mischievous. She wanted to tell Gaz about Alicia, too, but she wasn’t sure how.
“Someday, maybe he’d like that. His name’s Erik. He’s a musician, we met on the web thingy.”
“The web thingie. Is that the technical term?” Kitty smiled. “You meet all kinds of interesting people, these days.”
“Nah, but it’s good enough. And I do. You do too, though.” It was how they’d met.
“Yeah. We do.” Kitty leaned against Gaz a little bit. “I don’t have Halo, but I bet I can kick your ass at Dead or Alive.”
“Bring it.” Gaz smiled. “You may want to up your health some, though.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m pro, didn’t you know that? Playing games is literally my job.”
“Then I look forward to overthrowing the champ.”
Game on.