Cameron can appreciate art (tin_miss) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-01-25 20:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, cameron phillips, link |
John has a girlfriend. She's okay. He could do better.
Who: Cameron and Link
What: Creepy hauntings and feeling discussions
When: Last week
Where: Link’s farm
Status: complete
Rating: PG-13 for bras
Maybe the problem was that Link spent too much time on his own. He lived alone and he rarely left the farm. As a result, his imagination occasionally ran away from him. Usually, it was nothing worse than making conversation with cows and chickens. But with the heightened fear surrounding the flu, perhaps his mind was ripe for the haunting.
He wasn’t sure how else to explain the shadowy little girl he kept catching out of the corner of his eye. She was ashen, with bright eyes and she always seemed to be staring at him -- except she vanished the moment Link turned his head. He didn’t want to admit he believed in ghosts, but he also didn’t feel quite like he was going crazy. Stir-crazy, maybe, but nothing worse than that. He’d invited Cameron over as a second pair of eyes, and because she was a little creepy herself. For some reason, getting her opinion seemed... logical.
Not that he really wanted an excuse.
Her skin had healed over completely, and looked and felt as normal as ever. It was remarkable how quickly it had healed, and it also meant she hadn't needed to hide it as much as she thought she would.
It was what lay within that was not normal. It was what lay within that kept Cameron up at night.
So she was more than happy to visit Link, and investigate this 'ghost' of his.
As night began to fall, Link was holed up in the living room, watching television and lazily petting the goat Navi had given him: Epona. Navi had named him, too. Personally, Link thought the name a little too grand for a goat, but he couldn’t consider changing it.
As the sound of footfalls on the front path grew louder, Epona hopped off the couch and bleated as he trotted to the front door. Not wanting to be alone in the room, Link followed.
Cam knocked on the door. She’d opted for a tight sweater, black skirt and fishnet stockings. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and was carrying a backpack. Inside the backpack were some snacks, a knife, and bandages.
Link opened the door and for an instant his eyes popped. Cameron looked dressed to kill, even if he didn’t know about the knife in her backpack. “Hey...” He grinned a little like an idiot. Epona bleated for attention. She was like a puppy. It was a little weird.
“Hey.” She absently patted the goat, then gave Link an impulsive hug. It felt good to hug someone. She’d been so depressed lately. It was good to see him. She might have dressed up a little, just to impress.
Sometimes, Link had no idea what Cameron was thinking or feeling. She was so hard to read. He wasn’t even sure what to think of the hug, because he knew too much about her feelings for John. He told himself to enjoy it at least a little bit and hugged her in return.
“Here, come inside,” he said. “What is it you’ve been wanting to show me?” He had to tug on Epona’s collar to make sure she followed, too.
She followed him inside, worried about his reaction. "I have to show you what I really am. From my dreams. I have to tell someone besides John, and I trust you."
Link closed the door, cringing internally at the mention of John's name, but just smart enough to keep it to himself. Epona wandered off in the direction of the noise from the television. "Okay. Sure. What is it?"
Cameron set her pack down, then pulled her sweater off. She was just wearing a lacy black bra. It left just enough up to the imagination. Barely. Without further ado, she pulled the knife out and sliced into her forearm. She cut a small square, just enough to reveal the metal underneath. There was a lot less blood than there should have been.
Link's spine stiffened, unsure of what Cameron was about to do, because for a moment it seemed that what she'd come to show him were her breasts. Good boy that he was, he took a step back to give her some room, just in case.
But when she pulled out a knife and plunged it into her skin, Link dove forward, immediately trying to wrestle the blade away. "Oh my god, Cameron! What are you doing?" His blood felt like ice as he fought to catch his breath. "...Is that... Is that metal?"
“There’s bandages in my pack,” Cameron said, looking at him with tears in her eyes as she nodded. It wasn’t entirely from pain, though she couldn’t shut it off like she could in the dreams. She didn’t even know how to explain it. “I’m becoming that thing in my dreams.”
He had her by both shoulders, applying some strength to keep her still, in case she wasn't done showing him things. His throat quivered. "What thing?"
“They’re called Terminators. They’re built to kill, and for nothing else. I was captured and....reprogrammed to protect. I’m a monster Link.” And no one, not even John, could tell her otherwise.
Well, Link was damn well going to try. "Cameron, you are absolutely not a monster. That's not possible. I think I know you well enough to know that. You're a sensitive, artistic... beautiful person. Woman. You're definitely not a monster, no matter what your dreams show you." But he had only a little experience with these dreams himself.
“A machine. But machines don’t play music, they don’t make art. I don’t know what I’ll be if I lose my music.” Cameron was crying now, leaning into Link. She sniffled, and rested her head on his shoulder. She had the strangest feeling of being watched.
She turned her face, and saw the briefest flash of movement.
He wrapped his arms around her, allowing himself to briefly enjoy being in a position to offer her comfort. What he did know about dreams meant he was a natural protector. He brushed her hair. "What? What did you see?" he asked, as Cameron moved her head. He knew already, of course. He knew she had seen the ghost. He felt like they were being watched, too.
“I thought I saw a girl.” Her voice was quiet, but still full of emotion. The ‘ghost’ had probably just saved her from making a fun, but pontentially serious mistake with Link. “Just a girl. Lets find her.”
"You saw her, too?" Link exclaimed. "I knew I wasn't going crazy. Well, I hoped I wasn't."
“It’s probably just a girl.” She let go of link, then pulled gauze out to wrap around her arm. She started in the direction she’d seen the girl go, leaving Link - and her sweater - behind.
Link followed, leaving her sweater behind as well. "I really don't think this is a normal kid, running around the place." Besides, kids didn't typically make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.
They headed in the direction of the woods. As they got farther away from the farm house, things seemed to get creepier. A fog bank settled in, giving the woods a murky, swamp-like quality. Lantern lights bobbed in the distance, only to disappear and reappear a hundred yards farther along. Eyes watched them. Yellow and red ones, and every so often, a little girl laughed.
Cameron clung to Link’s arm.
Link tried to pretend he was more brave than he actually felt, and perhaps that meant he really was that brave. He didn't run. With Cameron close, he thought only of protecting her. But what in the hell was going on? "Well... this is... terrifying."
“I don’t feel like we’re on your farm anymore,” she admitted, finally believing what her senses were telling her. And here she was, in her bra, and bleeding.
Didn’t people like her die in horror movies?
"Maybe we should go back the way we came," Link said, looking back over his shoulder. He felt like they were being lured away. He couldn't even make out the farm house now.
“I’m not sure how to get back.” She looked around nervously, then tried to joke it off. “As long as we don’t have sex we won’t get axe murdered. That’s how it works, right?”
Link hadn't seen a lot of movies in his lifetime, but even he got the joke. He chuckled, though still sounding as nervous as he felt. "Where the heck are we?"
Cam shook her head, stepping closer to Link, even though she could probably crush just about anything that came at them. She just didn’t want to. “Not in Kansas anymore...”
Link began to notice a faint whispering increase in volume. It was lilting, almost sing-song, but the words were muddled. Indistinguishable. Maybe they weren't even English.
"The creepy just got creepier..." he said, finally standing still. Right about now, he wished he'd had the sword and shield he'd carried in his dreams.
Licking her lips, Cam stepped away from Link, and reached into the back of her skirt. She pulled her 9mm out and flicked the safety off. Shadowy figures stood all around them, faceless and menacing.
"Holy Shit!" Link exclaimed. His mouth hung open. For a second, he wasn't sure what part of this situation was the most frightening. "How many weapons are you carrying?"
“Sarah always told us to be prepared for anything. No place is ever safe.” Camerion pointed the gun at one of the shadow figures, which whisped away like mist. They all seemed to do the same thing, leaving the two alone, in the woods as the fog lifted.
Gradually, the sound of animals returned.
Link's hold on Cameron slowly relaxed. The whole ordeal had caused him to break out in a bit of a cold sweat. He'd only encountered things like this in his dreams, never in real life. And he’d never been so frightened of the woods before. "I guess you scared whatever it was away..." Apparently, ghosts were afraid of guns. "Do you believe me now, about the farm being haunted? I wasn't making anything up."
Cameron’s heart was pounding, which was a welcome feeling. It meant she was alive, and human. Mostly. The sound of the safety clicking back into place was loud in the forest, and she slipped it back into her waistband. “It shouldn’t be....” She trailed off. A machine wouldn’t believe in ghosts, but weren’t ghosts supposed to be lost souls? Wasn’t she a lost soul, did she have one?
She looked at Link, and chewed her lip, pouting a little. It made her look vulnerable.
His heart was still pounding, too, as he slowly came down from the adrenaline high. Cameron did look vulnerable to his eyes, what he could make out in the dark. She looked sort of tiny.
"As long as I'm not going crazy..." he sighed, staring down at her.
Running her fingers through her hair, Cameron leaned back against Link. So his farm was haunted, what were they going to do? She nuzzled her nose against his neck.
Link kissed the top of her head. Thoughts about John, the brother Cameron supposedly had feelings for, haunted him as much as everything else. "We should go back inside."
Tilting her head up, Cameron pressed warm, soft lips against Link’s. Her fingers curled around the back of his neck. She held her ‘injured’ arm against her chest, not wanting blood to soak through and get on his shirt.
Link’s eyelids fell, as he tried to push his fears to the side. Fresh adrenaline flowed into his veins as he laid his palms on the skin of Cameron’s bare back. His heart rate peaked again.
But then, he pulled back and opened his eyes. His face was drawn. “What about... What about John?” he asked, his voice halting.
John? "John has a girlfriend. She's okay. He could do better." Her jealousy was unreasonable, and she knew her feelings were unrequited. She didn't think the dreams would change any of that. Not in the direction she wanted.
Link sighed. “And if he didn’t have a girlfriend?” He spent a lot of time alone. In fact, he was lonely a lot of the time. But he wasn’t unhappy. He didn’t want everything to change at once.
Cameron frowned. She shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. He sees me like a sister. Maybe that makes me one. It would be easier if I didn’t clearly have feelings when I dreamed about us.” Which was strange. Machines shouldn’t feel.
Link tucked a finger beneath her chin and gently lifted her head. “The things is, if you really would rather be with him... I’m not too keen on being second choice.”
Her eyes grew sad, and she looked away. "Anyone would be a second choice, Link. My being with him isn't going to happen..."
He finally took a step back, creating some distance between them. It wasn’t pride that moved him. It was wisdom. He hoped. He’d always been farsighted. Growing crops, tending animals... the things he did in his dreams... everything as always aimed toward a goal. “But what if he does? Is it wrong for me to worry that you’d leave me behind?”
She met his eyes, then shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I'd like to say it would be wrong. Maybe my being with him would be wrong. Neither of you would be my first."
Link pressed his lips together. “Well, me neither... But that’s not the point.” He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t want to be worried about things all the time.” And for the record -- unspoken record -- he did think it was wrong, wanting to fuck your brother. That was something he didn’t want to have to say out loud.
He wasn't her brother she'd argue. Not by blood, anyway. Sarah had raised them, but Sarah had never really been a mother. Just a guardian. It was the distinction she told herself to help her sleep at night.
She sighed, rubbing at her shoulder, then turned to go, slipping away from him.
Link’s head fell. He didn’t want Cameron to go, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do if she stayed. He turned to follow her. “So... you don’t want to... talk or...?” he sort of stammered. Was this the end of tonight’s conversation? Was it actually the end of everything?
“I don’t know what to talk about.” She stopped moving, hugging herself. “I don’t know what I want, or what I am, or what I want from you.”
Link stood still as well, except for a roll of his shoulders. He knew Cameron was confused. He felt badly. Making things worse or more complicated was the last thing he wanted. “I guess I just want you to be upfront about things. It would be easy for me if I... didn’t like you so much. I’d rather you take your time to figure stuff out. I’m willing to give you space to do that.”
"So you don't want to have sex?" She glanced back at him, over her shoulder. It was both vulnerable and alluring. Sex was sex for her, she'd never had it where there was an emotional connection.
Link sighed again, slowly and through his nose. He looked off to the side. He didn’t know what to make of Cameron at all, at the moment. With the sweater that flew off and the weapons and the showing off her metal skeleton... maybe it had all been her weird method of seducing him. Or maybe she genuinely did feel an emotional connection with him, despite all the weird taboo stuff with John.
He had no idea. None at all.
“No...” he finally replied. “I guess I don’t. Not right now.”
“Okay. I brought Ghostbusters one and two. Do you want to see them?” She smiled, hopefully. Sleeping with him would probably be a bad idea and she knew it, as much as she wanted to. Sex made her feel alive. She really needed to feel alive.
He blinked his now slightly vacant eyes. “You still want to stay?”
“Of course I do. Just because you’re not going to let me jump your bones doesn’t mean you’re not my friend.”
He blinked again. Had he just been friend-zoned? Maybe she was making a real effort to be honest with him. Link couldn’t say he felt too wonderful about it, though.
“No, I... think I’m just going to go to bed,” he said. Link had had enough ups and downs for one night. He was pretty sure watching movies with Cameron would only lead to more awkward feelings. “You can stay over, if you want. I have lots of rooms.”
Cameron wasn't friend-zoning him. She was friend-zoning herself. Because she really, really wanted him, but he'd turned her down. "I'd like that, thank you." She chewed on her lip, almost asking if she could sleep with him. Sleep sleep.
He hoped she’d un-friend-zone herself and tell him him John was forgotten. He’d never even met the guy, but he sort of hated him. As much as Link could hate anyone.
He waved toward the house. “Alright. That’s cool.”
“Okay..” She turned and started back towards the house. She didn’t feel like a very good person.
Link walked beside her, keeping some distance. The ground crunched a little beneath their feet. “You’ve got to be cold...”
“I’m always cold, it’s okay.” She glanced at him, her hair bouncing off of her bare shoulders. “Did you know I tried to kiss a girl once?”
Random comment is random.
Compared with everything else, this failed to throw him. In fact, he chuckled lightly. "Yeah? Me too."
“I didn’t like. Not the same as with a man. I was kinda disappointed. I really like her.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Just not that way.”
"Well," he shrugged. "I guess that just means you're straight. That's... gotta be a good sign for me, right?" His laughter became a bit awkward.
She tilted her head, giving him an exasperated look. “Link, you’re confusing.” But there was a smile at the edge of her lips.
Me? I'm confusing?" Link lifted an eyebrow. They'd come back to the house and he opened the door for her.
She stepped inside, nodding her head. “I don’t know what to think about how you feel about me.”
Link closed the door behind them. Epona's hooves clicked in the distance. "I thought I've been pretty clear."
“Yes, you have.” She took a seat the kitchen table and played with her bandage. “I don’t know
what to think about it. I think you deserve someone more normal.”
Link folded his arms in the kitchen doorway. He kicked the old hardwood with his boot. "I don't even know what to say about that. I like you. I don't even think I'm normal. So..." He shrugged. In the full light of the kitchen, seeing Cameron in her bra brought some fresh blood to his cheeks.
“You’re a gentleman. Not many men your age would be staring at me and doing nothing about it.” She smiled at him, her lips twitching a bit as human Cameron and Terminator Cameron had a slight war.
Link's eyebrows knit. He pulled out a chair for himself at the kitchen table. "Well, why do you offer sex the way you do? The way you talk about it always makes me worry a bit. Like you think it's expected or something. Do you?"
“No, I just don’t think it’s something special. It’s sex. It’s fun.” She looked at him, head tilted, a little like he was crazy pants. “I like you and I want to... do it with you.” Cam chewed on her lip. “I think the way I ask it is because of the whole....machine thing. It’s affecting how I talk.”
"But don't you get that's why I want to have sex with you? Because I think it could be really special?" Link said. He slid his hand across the table to touch hers. "I just don't see the point in... thinking about it another way."
Maybe it had a little to do with losing his parents.
“I’ve never had it special. I guess I wouldn’t know.” She shrugged her shoulder, but took his hand with hers and squeezed it.
He’d dropped out of school at a young age and lived a life mostly secluded from the world. The girls he’d been intimate were small in number, but each of them had been a special encounter in its own way. It was difficult for him to get excited over sex for sex’s sake. Again, it was very possible his parents’ death had a something to do with it.
“I’d like it to be special with me,” he said, with a gulp.
Cameron sighed, and rested her chin on her hands. “I want to make it special, I’m just not sure how. I didn’t grow up in a normal..environment.” The parrallels with Sarah Connor in both worlds were a little startling. “I spent most of my childhood in a jungle.”
Link wasn’t sure if she was being literal or figurative, or if she was talking about her dreams. “Well, neither did I. Not like normal normal. I mean, I didn’t have a lot of friends and I was all over this news after this fire I saved some people from. I’ve always felt... separated from things.”
She nodded her head in understanding. “After we came back to the states, I couldn’t connect with other people. Not in the way a kid is supposed to.”
Link nodded. God, he knew that feeling. "My parents used to say I was born an old man. Or a lone wolf." He chuckled lightly and played with her hand.
“That sounds lonely. Both of those. That’s kind of a mean thing to say.” Cameron frowned, squeezing his hand, before absently, peeling off the bandage. The bleeding had stopped and while it still looked like a gash, it looked like a healing gash. “It’ll be okay in a couple of days. I’ll have to use staples though.”
"I never thought it was mean. I kind liked it..." His voice trailed of as he ran his fingers alongside Cameron's cut. "Wow... And this just started happening?"
She nodded her head. “Before Christmas. I woke up and..I knew. That’s why I haven’t visited you. I kind of..ripped all my skin off my arm in a panic.” She closed her eyes.
Link moved his hand to the back of her head, feeling the softness of her hair and trying to offer a little comfort. The more Cameron revealed about herself, the more he wanted to act as her sole protector. It was an instinct that was rising up within him. Protect. Maybe Cameron could scare away ghosts and pulverize attackers with her metal limbs, but she was frightened of her own shadow.
He didn’t say anything, though. He scooted his chair close to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
After a moment, she leaned in against him, resting her head against his chest. She felt the most unbearable urge to cry.
As if he could understand her thoughts, Link kissed the top of her head. “Why don’t we just... sleep on the couch and watch the movies?” He knew he was putting himself to the test, laying down with her, but knowing what she was going through would help his resolve.
Cameron nodded her head. She could cry later, after link was asleep. “I’d like that, a lot.”
He used his hand to lift her chin and kiss Cameron’s cheek. Then he dared a quick kiss on the lips, too. “Go get them then. Maybe your sweater, too...” He was sort of joking about the last part, but it was cold in the old house.
"Okay." She got the movies, and pulled the sweater back on. It was too tempting to remove her bra.
By the time she returned, Link was busy hooking up the DVD player to his ancient television. It looked like something where power-steering didn’t come standard. He held his hand out for movie number one and the disc slid in. Then, he flopped onto the sofa.
Epona snored quietly in the corner of the room.
She pulled her shoes off, then settled in next to him. It was probably a good thing he’d mentioned the sweater - Cameron had a tendency to go topless whenever she could.
“Here.” He shifted his weight so that he could lie down. There was plenty of room in front of him for Cameron to stretch out, too. He was starting to once again look forward to having his arms around her all night long.
She stretched out, and snuggled back against him, eyes drifting shut. She didn’t need to sleep as much, but she was oddly tired. “You’re the best, Link.”
He hummed contentedly. The night had seemed ready to take a bad turn, but all of that was nearly forgotten now. He felt peaceful, a little unsure of where things with Cameron were going, but happy to have her here with him now. "Thanks for scaring away the boogie man. Or girl."
“Thanks for thinking I’m human,” Cameron whispered. She was asleep by the end of the first act.