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Enjolras isn't a statue, really ([info]solo_patria) wrote in [info]valarlogs,
@ 2013-01-07 23:46:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:enjolras, grantaire

Who: Enjolras and Grantaire
When: Monday
Where: Irvine General Plague Central!
What: Enj gets a visit. I'll update with more specifics
Rating: Open for now. Will update!


Enjolras had woken up to oxygen and IV's a while ago now, and had been completely miserable throughout most of this hospital process, which didn't help with the fact that he was still having insane amounts of trouble breathing. The therapy for that was the worst, so undignified that it made him feel just helpless and stupid and everything else.

He also didn't like the fact that he was sort of stuck here for the moment, because when he wasn't sleeping, which you could only do too much of, he was bored. Extremely bored. He'd told his parents to go home a few hours ago after his mom had started doing that weird...thing she'd been doing at him since he'd been arrested. He'd tried to be nice about it but...he hadn't wanted flailing so much.

Now though? Well, he had the copy of Rousseau he'd been reading at the time, but he wasn't much for focusing on it just now, and sighed, flipping through the television with varying degrees of mild annoyance. This wasn't working at all, clearly. Bored wasn't something he did well, and he was mentally formulating escape plans that his friends would probably foil if he didn't act soon.

Right now, for instance...could he make it to the door if he really tried it? He was debating making that break for it, certainly...


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[info]grand_r
2013-01-08 05:27 am UTC (link)
True to his nature, Grantaire had been passed out nearly constantly since a uniquely entertaining New Years Eve celebration. The sun traveled through the sky unheeded; days passing without his notice. His phone kept chirping at him, but he'd paid it no mind. Unfortunately, Grantaire hadn't made it all the way to his bed before passing out, so his angry back finally stirred him into painful motion.

The message he received when he finally decided to look at his phone shocked him stone sober. In three minutes flat, he was dressed and out of his apartment. Thirty seconds later, his hangover doubled him over, and Grantaire was abruptly reminded why he spent most of his waking hours drunk.

However, finding a mini-bottle still in his pocket, he managed to persevere and arrived at the hospital in nearly record time. (Huzzah for public transportation! Grantaire did the responsible thing and didn't even have a driver's license. He was a drunk not stupid.) He was directed to Enjolras' room and made it to the doorway just in time to witness the thoughts of escape cross his fearless leader's face. The sickness did not look good on him, and it worried Grantaire's heart.

He knocked lightly on the door frame to announce his arrival, nearly forgetting the gesture of politeness in his haste.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-08 05:56 am UTC (link)
Enjolras was seriously considering it, poking idly at the IV in his arm and debating, semi seriously, tugging it out and making for a doctors' locker room or wherever it was they changed these days. Television he'd vaguely noticed had lead him to believe this was the case at least. Joly would probably hunt him down and kill him, and he was surprised that hadn't happened already, considering he might not be in this position if he'd stayed at home in his blanket fort and not tried to leave (he might also be dead by now like whoever it was from the television but he tried not to think about that part much).

At any rate, he glanced up and over when the knock came, thinking it was probably not one of the on call staff since they tended to pop in regardless of what your response was to them. He didn't know who he had expected, but the sight of Grantaire was...something of a shock.

"Grantaire." he greeted the man he...tolerated and tried not to look like he was secretly sort of touched that he'd come and had made an effort to...the man even looked less drunk and more coming off of it... THAT was something Enjolras strongly appreciated, though he didn't know if he was worth that effort right now. With his free hand, he waved him in, before he started up with the coughing again, which, actually at this point was embarrassing. It was bad enough some of his other friends had seen him weak like this by now but there was something infinitely worse about it being Grantaire to see him like this.

"I'm...not good company." he managed. "But thank you."

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-08 06:44 am UTC (link)
Grantaire's half-hearted sobriety was only due to his hurry to the hospital. Had he not been afraid that Enjolras was dying (as some of the news reports he'd caught on the way over had reported), Grantaire would have been in a different state of mind. If Enjolras took Grantaire's hangover in any other way, it was a bonus... but an accident.

Grantaire entered when he was waved in and sat at a chair near the side of Enjolras' bed. Worry was written all over the skeptic's face when Enjolras started coughing. There wasn't an instant that Grantaire thought bad of Enjolras for being weakened by sickness. All that was important was that he recovered from it.

"Do not fret about the quality of your company. Just seeing you conscious is well enough. The doctors assured me on the way in that everything was taken care of. Is there anything that I can do?"

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-08 07:00 am UTC (link)
Enjolras had wondered about dying too, but was trying too hard not to focus on those points, and those reports and anything else. It helped that he had been relatively ignoring the news media lately, first in his binge reading before the semester started fest brought on by the dreams and now all of this. He didn't exactly have the energy to deal with what he'd been seeing, and less to apply it to his own state, which was probably good for everyone here. He had no intentions of dying at least, as much as the possibility seemed like a good idea through the breathing treatments they'd been trying out. That nothing seemed to be working didn't really phase him yet, because, well, also, nothing had gotten worse.

It was...strange to see that look on Grantaire's face. Enjolras had known that he was capable of paying deep attention to the important things, but had so rarely seen him approach meetings, projects, or anything else with that same intensity. It was...still strange that it would be directed at him, especially now, when he was really not at his most impressive here. He managed a smile though, even if it was a little bemused.

"Well, conscious for now at least." he said, trying to look like he was joking here. "I take it you got the message?" he asked, frowning. "I'm sorry about that, really. I had no idea that sort of thing actually happened." The mass texting from someone's phone, not the part where he had passed out. Though come to think of it, he'd never experienced that one before either.

"They're doing, well, everything they can just now." He'd not been entirely immune to what was going on in the rest of the hospital, or in the wing where they'd put him. "If anyone comes up with actual news about this, and you get it first, I'd like to hear. Otherwise..." Otherwise, well, what COULD Grantaire do for him right now? It wasn't even a matter of Grantaire so much as any of them.

"I...can't think of much of anything." Then, because Grantaire had come here, and was making an effort, he tried to turn his mind to conversation, which was fairly difficult when he wasn't talking about the larger, grander issues but on a smaller, more personal and intimate scale. "So. We haven't seen you for a while. Been...busy?"

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-10 05:52 am UTC (link)
The only reason that Enjolras was not familiar with that intense expression on Grantaire's face was because Grantaire usually only gave that look to their statuesque leader's back as the drunk was frequently dismissed by Enjolras during meetings, projects, and everything else for, well, being drunk (and, therefore, significantly less-than-helpful to whatever it was the group was trying to accomplish).

Here in the hospital, while Grantaire's lack of any medical knowledge remained staggeringly unhelpful, he was in a slightly better position to act than Enjolras was, and that was a rare situation.

"I got the message. That sort of thing happens to me all the time. The passing out part, at least. But in my case, most people don't take the time to alert anyone to pull me out of the gutter. Whoever it was must have recognized a better man when they saw one."

Grantaire shook his head to indicate that he hadn't heard any new news, but he would be sure to let Enjolras know if he did. The reports of the outbreak had him concerned especially the death parts, but it was worse because of the way it effected his friends. Whatever he could find out, he would. He had ways of getting that kind of information.

"Busy?" He paused briefly at the question. Grantaire had been passed out nearly the entire week since New Years day, missing absolutely everything of interest. "You could say that."

The hitches in Enjolras' breath caused him to visibly frown. There was no point in bringing up specifics of his week when Enjolras was in no state to berate him for it. He didn't seem in much a state to do anything, really. "Save your breath for now. Conversation can wait." Grantaire briefly considered, then picked up, the book Enjolras had been reading. "But I see you're still trying to get work done."

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-10 06:12 am UTC (link)
Enjolras did have that habit, true. It was sort of difficult not to think of Grantaire as being...there but not really a part of things. He was one of them but, he was also one of them who you didn't like to count on or rely on too much, just in case things went wrong. Today though, he was reconsidering this stance a little.

True, it wasn't the kind of thing that Enjolras was prepared to run through the streets telling all the others, but it was the kind of thing, the kind of glimmer that he filed away to pull out at a later date, when they were all through this, and consider, and well, look for more signs potentially. It was interesting to see this hint of a new element at play here in the drunk, and it would be an interesting exercise to continue looking for these things. At least, that was how he filed it away for now anyway.

"I got lucky." Enjolras answered, when he could talk. "I suspect it's mostly because all of this is happening and all. The neighbors don't know me there yet so who knows what else they might have assumed." At least he didn't have to deal with the Christmas Episode with those neighbors. His parents, at least, had found it hilarious that his friends, well, okay, probably Courfeyrac if he really paid attention to the events of that night, had gotten him drunk at last. His parents? Were weird.

But that was an issue to pull out if he ever needed to go to therapy, not something to think about right now.

"Actually," He nodded toward the book, "That's not so much work as it's...I felt inclined to read more than Phil 101 had to offer." He wasn't one to put much stock in dreams, and wouldn't have done so otherwise, but the feeling had been so real that he couldn't have ignored it, that need to re-read and pick up more. "One of those urges. It's slow going but once you're in...there's a lot to offer from Jean Jacques."

And when had he started calling Rousseau by that, like they were old friends or something? Too strange to think about just now.

"Work...isn't exactly happening."

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-13 09:20 am UTC (link)
Grantaire didn't bother keeping the concern off his face, not paying enough attention to his own body language out of worry for Enjolras. He wasn't concerned with things like "reconsidering stances" and "in the future" at the moment. His whole devoted attention was focused on the fact that Enjolras was sick, hooked up to all manner of machines, and was still having difficulty breathing. With a quick glace around, Grantaire located the emergency call button... just in case.

However, the moment Enjolras mentioned school, Gantaire's mind immediately started to wander. He noticed the state of the book, the bookmark which held Enjolras' place, the closeness at hand, and the fondness in the tone of voice Enjolras was using to talk about it... even going as far at to refer to he philosopher by his given name --something that, in all the time they'd known each other, none of his friends had even done for him. They were all strictly on "family name" and nickname basis. It was a fine arrangement in their day-to-day lives, but such an arrangement only led to emphasize Enjolras' familiarity with the book.

And so Grantaire reached for the book, letting it fall open to the most-read pages and glancing inside. He examined it with a frown. Philosophy didn't speak to him like it did to Enjolras, but then again, very little did.

"Would it help if I read it to you?"

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-13 06:55 pm UTC (link)
It would probably not come to needing that button just yet, probably anyway. Enjolras did still want to pull the wires out of his nose, and might have to be convinced not to mutinously do it just because it was irritating and sort of...symbolized the ultimate repression of medical treatment somehow though, so it was probably a good idea Grantaire had found it. You know, in case Enjolras seriously let himself snap the way he wanted to.

It was...funny how quickly Enjolras had fallen into The Social Contract, and he sort of...wished he could explain the reasoning to Grantaire but how did you tell someone who didn't seem to believe in much that wasn't right here and now that you'd had a dream that felt insanely real and was leading you to make real life changes? Even he thought it was a little insane. He might say something at some point but right now didn't somehow seem the time.

Maybe, if more of them came, as he'd seen people on the network saying, things would be different and he'd bring it up in conversation. As it was? It was hard not to think of it as buying into some form of internet hysteria brought on by the sickness so...he kept that to himself.

As far as names meant, yeah, that was also weird. Enjolras wasn't entirely sure what it meant that he was able to do it with a long dead philosopher but not most of his friends. Did he even remember any of those first names? He made a mental note to try to recall that later, but for right now...

The offer was one that he appreciated, and it coming from Grantaire of all people made him appreciate it all the more. He glanced at his friend and almost, sort of smiled for a brief moment there.

"I'd like that. Thank you." He said instead of giving in to the smile urge since it felt...odd to him with anyone.

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-13 07:50 pm UTC (link)
It was a good thing that Enjolras didn't choose to smile at him. Nothing would have sent Grantaire rushing for the emergency call button faster. By the time a kind smile was directed at him from Enjolras, surely the man was on his deathbed.

He didn't think much further on the issue of names. Professors addressed their students by family names, and as students themselves, the friends had fallen into mostly the same habit. When was the last time anyone had called Grantaire by "Sébastien" or anything other than a variation of "Grand R"? He couldn't even recall, and he couldn't guarantee he'd even respond to it.

Still, being so familiar and informal to the author of your book was weird. Grantaire would call it a symptom of Enjolras' sickness, but he suspected that, even completely healthy, it would have been the same.

As for his offer to read, if Grantaire was being completely honest-- and he would be if prompted-- it was primarily for something to do to keep each of their minds occupied. Between awkward direct conversation and the offending breathing assistance, Enjolras looked like he needed something else to think about. Grantiare couldn't care less about the subject matter, but he didn't mind reading it. Whatever Jean Jacques Rousseau had to say would probably come up in conversation at a later meeting, and Grantaire did like to be prepared to argue against it. As it was, Enjolras was hardly in a position to argue with him effectively, and what fun was that?

Grantaire opened to Enjolras' bookmark and skimmed the first few lines in preparation. Already, he found the process dull, but it was better than thinking about Enjolras dying merely a meter from him.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-13 10:08 pm UTC (link)
And Enjolras would probably look really funny at anyone who actually used his full name or even the variant of 'Pol' that his family had come up with. It just...didn't really happen for whatever reason, and would have felt bizarre to him somehow. Not exactly wrong but...twilight zone much?

But yes, Jean Jacques had taken hold, and well, Enjolras would actually welcome the challenge at a future group meeting, particularly knowing that Grantaire was at least half sober and would really be focusing here. He had that way of shooting things down that made people consider their counter points strongly. He was in no shape to make his own points heard or considered just now, but he could get the ideas settled in his mind, and mull them over a little, and Grantaire could come up with his own responses and it sort of served a dual purpose along with being distracting here.

So, that worked out for now, he thought, fumbling with the controls to sit up a little more. He wasn't going to be completely undignified here.

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-15 06:04 am UTC (link)
Grantaire continued to scan the book until Enjolras was settled. It was a weighty topic, and if the circumstances had been any different, Grantaire would say he'd already had enough of its nonsense. He was doing this-- only this small thing-- because he was afraid that Enjolras was dying and would leave him to this world alone. The rest of his friends were fun to be around, but without their leader, who were they? Who was he? Grantaire didn't want to think about it. That's one of the reasons he drank.

Once Enjolras was sitting up a little (and Grantaire made sure he was able to breathe as well as possible), without pretense or preamble, he began reading aloud. Grantaire's voice was surprisingly sure of itself, clear and eloquent. His near-sobriety lending a knowledgeable demeanor to the reading. The drunk was surprisingly effective when he wanted to be, and since Enjolras didn't have the strength to be impassioned himself, it was the very least Grantaire could do on his behalf.

In truth, Rousseau himself annoyed Grantaire just as much as he seemed to delight Enjolras, but such a difference of opinion is the way the two friends operated. He fought to keep the scepticism from his voice but failed miserably at times.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-15 07:49 am UTC (link)
"What?" Enjolras asked him at one point, clearly at least a little amused by Grantaire's reading. "You've already formed an argument to throw at me before I've come up with a good presentation, haven't you?" Because that, he thought, was just like Grantaire somehow. Not that they had done this before, but it was the sort of thing you could expect from him. At least if you were Enjolras.

"he IS a bit controversial, I'll grant. Courfeyrac's already given me the lovely biographical details." Well, sort of. In the dreams at least, and he'd basically alluded to it when he'd snickered at the book cover so that was good enough to count. "It IS a little...hypocritical, but should we condemn him for that alone or see what else he has to say?"

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-19 05:46 am UTC (link)
Grantaire frowned into the book without looking up from the pages. He momentarily frowned at the words as if they'd offended him personally, but then he rolled his eyes with obvious dramatics, and looked instead at his sickly friend. "Of course I've already formed my argument against him. It isn't the controversy or the hypocrisy. Such things exist in men both better and worse than him. It's Rousseau's ign--" but he finally stopped himself short before a hangover-induced rant could begin in full force. Enjolras was in no position to argue in defense of Jean Jacques, seeing as it was difficult enough for him to breath, let along debate. Grantaire dropped the topic abruptly with an irritated flip of the book page.

"I will give you time to form your own argument once you've recovered." Because Enjolras not recovering wasn't really an option Grantaire's mind wanted to deal with. Of course, Enjolras would be fine in the end. Maybe even the others, too.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-22 03:20 am UTC (link)
"Fair enough." Enjolras paused. "I didn't really think this arguing thing through just now." Because he couldn't very well launch into passionate defenses when he wasn't breathing, that was true. "We'll save it for a special meeting." Pause. "I appreciate you reading it anyway, even as repugnant as it is to you."

He hoped he would be fine. It was still what he was hoping would come out of this. Any of the other, worse reports, he put behind him just now. There were other things to think about.

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-22 06:22 am UTC (link)
Grantaire flipped another page forward and then back with a little more force than was strictly necessary. Turning an intense look to Enjolras, he began, "I do not find it repugnant. It is merely words on a page. I find it pointless dr--" but he bit his lip and stopped himself, shaking his head. If Grand R was going to keep Enjolras from getting worked up while in a delicate condition, Grantaire was going to have to restrain himself. Having their fearless leader all too himself for once would have been a great opportunity. There was no way for Grantaire's opinions to be ignored or shouted down, but in this place and in this way was not how he wanted it to happen.

"It's fine." He cleared his throat. "If this is all I can do to help you... Shall I continue?"

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-22 06:08 pm UTC (link)
"Okay, so pointless isn't quite as bad somehow." Enjolras decided. "And it sounds more...like you, I suppose." That was always Grantaire's thing, pointing out the problems in most wide eyed idealism. It was fine though, annoying as it could be. Enjolras would never say it to his face, but having someone shoot holes in his dearly held beliefs and the things that he was passionate about was probably good for all of them in the long run.

"Either way...I do appreciate this." he said, giving Grantaire a nod. "If you would." He'd owe him a favor someday, he decided. Which was a strange, strange thought, and slightly annoying because the circumstances he imagined doing this favor in were ones he wasn't accustomed to. Not that he thought Grantaire would ask but somehow honor or something like it demanded he do that. He'd keep it to himself for now though, anyway.

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-26 06:13 am UTC (link)
"Think nothing more of it. Of course, I will do this for you." One nice thing about the inside of Grantaire's mind was his ability to turn it off when he needed. 'It sounds more like you' had the potential to spark a series of emotional and philosophical thoughts as to the meaning, nature, and implication of the comment to which Grantaire did not allow his mind to attach.

Instead, at Enjolras' instance, he started reading again... still unable to keep the derision out of his voice after only a few more pages. It was obvious he was trying.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-27 09:50 pm UTC (link)
He WAS trying. And that was enough for Enjolras, who again, almost let himself smile there. He wanted to, was the thing, but something in him wouldn't let that slip out just now. It was, all the same, a definite chink in the mental armor he was used to shielding himself with.

Sounding more like Grantaire was more of a...well, Grantaire WOULD approach this from the perspective of finding it pointless, rather than finding it somehow insulting or anything that would be worse. Not that Enjolras supposed that it would matter so much if Grantaire found it repugnant as such, but it still felt...better that he simply didn't believe in it.

There were ways to make a believer, he told himself, and even though it had yet to happen, maybe there was that bit of him that hoped for the chance, that something would do it. He didn't let himself believe in that chance much, speaking of believing but it existed anyway. Maybe not with Rousseau as such, but...the words were comforting anyway, and brought him back to, strangely, the dream he'd had when he'd first started feeling sick.

"I..." he started, about to tell Grantaire of the dream at least a little, then stopped himself, because how did you account for all of this, to a skeptic of all people? "Well, no, never mind. It's going to sound...crazy. This thing is sapping my sanity I swear. "

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-29 07:19 am UTC (link)
Grantaire had developed a knack for reading while keeping his attention focused on Enjolras. It particularly came in handy during meetings when he pretended to ignore them all until it came time for the drunk's interjection into the conversation. For now, he watched Enjolras' mind go... somewhere... while he was reading. The skeptic hardly paid attention to the words he spoke (even though he read accurately) out of wondering what Enjolras was thinking so hard about. Breathing, no doubt, but it looked like something else, too. Grantaire wouldn't dare ask. Whatever it was would probably show up in one of Enjolras' articles or blogs sooner rather than later, and then everyone would know his mind.

Pausing the reading when Enjolras started to speak, Grantaire looked up. "Even if it is crazy, perhaps it's best to speak it just get it out of your mind? If you can manage to speak much at all, that is."

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[info]solo_patria
2013-01-29 09:55 pm UTC (link)
Oh, there was something forming for the blog in there, yes. Enjolras had been working something along those lines out, and just needed the right...impetuous to post there. Something big enough that he could connect The Social Contract to at least.

"If I'm careful..." He said, pausing as he tried to get in more air, and even though the effort of that made his lungs burn, it meant they were working, right? Working lungs were a good sign.

"The reason this..." he nodded at the book. "Got interesting again is actually..." Grantaire of all people was really going to think he was insane here. Actually come to think of of it, offhand, the person he thought might not think it was insane or just a dream, probably the only one was Jehan. That said, he'd started this after all.

"I had a dream." He started. "About Jean Jacques. Courf..." he broke into a fit of coughing that lasted longer than the others had, and made him wonder what he was even trying to do with this. "...And Marius and I were talking about him." He didn't add the year or place since that wasn't the major point of it. "He said something insulting and I was..." There was another rattled breath there. "Almost insulted on his behalf. I had to re-read when I woke up. Just to see what that was about. If it would help with...any of our thing. "

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[info]grand_r
2013-01-31 08:56 am UTC (link)
While every man Grantaire knew was off dreaming of carnal pleasures, of course Enjolras was dreaming about Jean Jacques Rousseau-- Grantaire's internal mocking of Enjolras' reverence for the man was interrupted by the coughing fit. His expression was instantly concerned, and he glanced wildly around for anything he could do to help. There was nothing Grantaite could do but wait until it subsided, and the story continued.

Enjolras was correct about one thing. Grantaire thought he was insane. Did he have a fever? because it must have gone to his brain. Clearly the sickness was loosening Enjolras' grip on reality.

"So all this," Grantaire wiggled the book in his hand, "is to settle an argument that began in a dream?" He glanced between Rousseau and Enjolras with a concerned expression.

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[info]solo_patria
2013-02-01 05:32 am UTC (link)
Enjolras's brain worked in really strange ways sometimes, that much was true. Despite that, he sort of thought that the dream he'd had was a little bit more than that. More of a...He'd gone into the reading beyond the basic ideas with some idea that, based on the dream, this could help them change the world, the way they'd talked about.

"Not exactly to settle an argument." Enjolras answered, thinking about it, and okay, he snickered at the idea of that. "Even I'm not so stubborn as that." He probably was, if he really got the chance to be, and his friends would probably swear to that but he didn't see it so much now. "No, this is more a...I woke up from the dream thinking Rousseau could help...with what we're trying to do in the world. I believed in him so much there. It felt like it was more than just a dream. Which probably was the first indication all of this was happening, but..."

He trailed off, not sure how to finish that. 'But it feels like more' wasn't the right thing to say here. 'But I really think he's onto something' was another kind of thing you didn't really share with Grantaire, even when you were talking about the dreams.

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[info]grand_r
2013-02-08 09:02 pm UTC (link)
'Not so stubborn.' Yeah, right. Grantaire gave Enjolras a look that said without question that he didn't believe that. Enjolras was notoriously stubborn when he really put his mind to it. But he was sick, so Grantaire would let the commentary slide this time. In the interest of remaining pleasant and not getting kicked out of the hospital room yet, there was a lot on which Grantaire wasn't planning on commenting.

It was best that Enjolras hadn't finished that thought aloud. The skeptic was already in high spirits about the topic after 'suffering' through his surface reading. Grantaire's bedside matter, at times, left something to be desired.

"Yes, it sounds like the fever talking. Whereas I can see the relevance that something contemporary to this," he motioned with the book in his hand again, "might hold to a modern audience, I fail to see how it might be useful for 'what you're trying to do in the world' and why you would put so much faith in something that a hallucination suggested. It defies logic, Enjolras."

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[info]solo_patria
2013-02-09 07:12 pm UTC (link)
Enjolras supposed that that look was fair really, considering what he was like when he got something in mind that he couldn't let go of. And his tendency to cling to it no matter what. At least it was just the look this time, right? And no one else was around to snicker at him, the way they might have if this had been with the group. Not so much at his ideas, but the idea that HE wasn't being stubborn about something. It was, actually, pretty laughable.

From Grantaire, he had known to expect the skeptical response and wasn't surprised by it entirely, especially when he had prefaced it by talking about the fever and framing it the way he had. If he'd wanted to be believed wholeheartedly on this thing? He would have picked someone else to bring this up to, but even his attempts at explaining weren't getting him far.

"That's the thing." Enjolras nodded at the contemporary part. "I'd like to work a little more with what's out there, periodwise. See if there are any ideas that might still apply. Some of them are naturally going to be...well, too idealistic to work in any setting, but some others, I don't know, I can't help but feel like they're worth considering as something to strive towards if not actually make happen."

For a moment there, there was a blaze in his eyes that seemed to go beyond the room that they were in, and Grantaire, and everything else, but only for the moment, when his breath hitched again and the effect was ruined. This time, he waited it out, and at least didn't end up hacking again, which was a start.

"As for the hallucination..." That was as good a word for it as any, Enjolras supposed. He didn't like that Grantaire phrased it that way, and that he annoyingly was right on that point. "It just felt so real. I suppose I'm clinging to it based on that. I don't know that I'd say it's faith exactly. Just...the idea that I might find this interesting. It's The Social Contract itself that's got my faith sparked. Does it matter so much where I found it?"

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[info]grand_r
2013-02-17 03:52 pm UTC (link)
For any other man, the blaze in Enjolras' eyes when he spoke would have been contagious. Grantaire simply(?) found it beautiful. This was one of the reasons that Grantaire continued to hang around his friends as often as he did. When Enjolras got worked up over something, especially during meetings, the others would follow soon after. Their enthusiasm fed into one another. Although Grantaire was not one to be swept up in the frenzy (it was not in his nature), he lived solely through their energy... and Enjolras' most of all. Grantaire believed that Enjolras truly believed in his missions and his writing. He was intense, even now. It was a little awe-inspiring.

But instead, Grantaire gave Enjolras a side-long skeptical look, worried about the continuous hitches in his breath and the fanatical dreams that the fever was no doubt fueling. Grantaire scrunched his nose at the word 'faith.' He'd said it first himself, and that made the sound of the word all the more distasteful to him.

"I think you should approach the topics Rousseau writes about with a little more criticism and not let the suggestions of your subconscious direct your interests too strongly." Grantaire frowned and finally set the book aside. "I'm distracting you from your rest. What's important is that you start feeling well again."

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(Shit, I never saw this! <3)
[info]solo_patria
2013-02-26 01:44 am UTC (link)
Enjolras did believe in those things, yes. And being sick was no reason not to be intense. Well, for him at least. Of course, it was entirely possible that the high fever was contribution to the burst of intensity that seemed to be...a little further out there than usual. But yes, generally his beliefs were pretty much one of those things that were ingrained no matter what.

The word faith itself wasn't so much the problem, if you found something that you really, really could put it in. Enjolras didn't tend to have it, religiously speaking, and what faith he had, he had placed in all the others, but having his friends share it wasn't too terrible, was it, if it was for something in the direction of their goals?

"A little more criticism..." Enjolras frowned, but it was thoughtful, there, "And I suppose a look at modern society and whether or not a Social Contract is even a valid idea now." It seemed to be a good source for getting started but, "You're right about the approach I think. I've scratched the surface but need to go further before I run around in the streets screaming these things." As if he'd ever scream them though.

"I feel all right, I think." He tried to tell Grantaire, ruining it as he had to stop again, this time for a longer pause while he willed himself to catch his breath and not to start coughing again. "Aside from this. I...it's all been on my mind. I can't let go, I think."

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