Janice Rand is an organization specialist (not_a_secretary) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-05-05 15:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, james kirk, janice rand |
Jim called Janice!
Who: Jim Kirk, Janice Rand
What: Phone snark flirtage stuff minilog
When: Yesterday-ish
Where: their respective abodes
Rating: PG13
Status: Complete
Jim called Janice! Ring ring! Banana phone!
Janice's eyes were focused on her computer monitors, where she was pieces together like-colored paintings into a mosaic of something larger. It was odd the way the brain worked, especially with buried memories. She picked up her phone, not even looking to see who it was that was calling.
"Hello?"
"So what're you wearing?"
"Tank top and yoga pants, black. Underwear is optional," she replied without a shred of hesitation. "Optional in regards to your imagination, which I'm certain will run rampant anyway. How was your night out?"
"Pretty good. Got a little drunk, did a little singing, I don't really remember." He grinned to himself, "Might have been more fun with you."
"Hm, that's debatable. I don't sing around anyone else, for a reason. Because it causes animals to claw at their own ears."
Jim grinned, "I would have thought that you'd want to have that effect around me."
"I'll play that card when I need to," was her overly dry response, although she did roll her eyes out of amusement.
"I have your shoes in a place of prominence, perched atop the entertainment center. They add a sorely needed feminine touch."
Janice facepalmed. It was audible over the phone.
"I wasn't aware that you needed any feminine touch, other than the actual physical sort. Maybe you need to invest in some throw pillows, and one of those plug-in room freshners."
Jim walked into his bedroom, "I could use a bra on the foot of the bed. You know I don't think I've ever taken a woman back here."
"Well if it's such a man cave, then it might be advisable that you don't. It probably smells of toast. I'm not even going to ask when the last time you did your laundry was."
Janice, meanwhile, was going :D and everything.
"Yesterday." He sounded genuinely offended.
"And before that?" she sounded very genuinely inquisitive. Not even :D or anything.
"A week ago," He retorted. He had precisely enough pants and shirts to make it through a little over a week. Longer if they didn't stink and he rewore one.
Now she just sounded too cute, because of the jabbing him with a sarcasm stick just a little bit, "Do you only do enough to get by?"
"Precisely enough and then a bit more." He grinned at the phone.
"Hmm, so you are prepared." She was eyedarting, all thinky-like.
"I'm prepared for most things, Janice." He said her name like a captain would say 'yeoman.'
"Of course you are," was Janice's response, much like she was humoring the ship's captain so things would continue to run smoothly.
"Try me."
"I'm fresh out of this week's bad guy to throw out you and test your preparedness skills, James," and there, she used his name like if she did try, the Captain would be in trouble. So he best recognize. She saved a pieced together picture. Definitely smaller pieces of a greater whole. "So you've really never brought any women back to your place. Why is that?"
"If I brought them back to my place, it means it was serious. Isabela left before I could."
"Oh." Well that made her go silent for a moment. Like she realized her foot in mouth disease, too late. "Well. That seems like...a very good reason."
Jim smiled ruefully, "I guess it was good she left when she did. Before I could make that mistake."
"What if that wasn't a mistake, though. You don't know that it was or what it could have been. I know that doesn't make it better..." But it was the truth, even if it made something in her stomach feel like it was sinking, she still had to say it.
"If I'd invited her and THEN she'd left, it would have been a mistake," He clarified, chuckling.
"Is that akin to buyer's remorse?" questioned Janice, standing up and taking her phone with her, so she could go outside and get some fresh air. Phew. He didn't sound offended by her bluntness. That was a relief. "I'll hire you a cleaning lady, then you can boast that you had a woman in your apartment."
"That's..okay. I don't need anyone to disturb the sacrosanct shrine of Jim Kirk."
"Maybe it needs disturbed. So you don't have to resort to shoe-napping women's footwear and displaying them as trophies."
"It fits the shrine!" He tilted his head, looking up at the shoes, "I should've raided your panty drawer."
"I'm having locks installed." So take that, Kirk.
"I'll just have to raid someone elses."
"Maybe you should do that." Hmph!
He should grab one of Pinkies and run it up a flagpole. That woman brings out the worst of him "Maybe I will! Since you're being so uptight about your own!" Jim laughed.
"I'm not being uptight. I just have some seriously nice undies." Oh no, she is not going to raise her voice, Nuh uh. No way, no how. She was, however, eyedarting, because it was not a lie, either. She occasionally splurged on some rather expensive things.
"A thong?" She had to have a thong, he was certain of it.
"That's for me to know and maybe to wear," she said in a very even-handed sort of way, neither an absolute agreement or an outright denial.
"...Awesome."
Janice suddenly felt her left eye twitching at the outer corner. She pressed her lips tightly together to avoid saying anything further incriminating, and adding fuel to the fire of his rampant imagination.
"What's your favorite color of lacy underthings?"
"I'm no longer employed by you, correct?"
"Not at the moment, no." He replied, grinning.
"Good enough. I like black, red, and pink." She was leaving the see-through, laced up, and cut-out portions of her lingerie drawer out of the discussion. The colors may or may not depend on how up front she was feeling that day.
Jim would think Janice has the best hobby ever, "Can I get a private fashion show?"
Best be vague. She hmmm'd thoughtfully like she was thinking about it, but not necessarily saying no, either. "Perhaps."
"Thats just because you don't have the moves for a fashion show," Jim replied, smirking to himself.
"I'm smart enough to realize when you are trying to bait someone into a reaction. But I applaud the attempt," Janice responded, with a smirk of her own.
"I guess a striptease is way out, isn't it." Jim's face was hurting from the smiling.
"I wouldn't say it's way out," she openly teased.
"Okay, I'll be sure to get a speedo for the striptease I'll give you." Muahahaha.
"Oh, I get a striptease in return?" Someone just upped the ante. "You go first, then."
"We could trade off articles of clothing," He offered, heading into the kitchen. He was enjoying this harmless flirting far too much. She was an intriguing, intelligent woman. And Sexy as all hell.
"Oh, you're showing a very diplomatic side to yourself with that suggestion, sir. I might agree to those conditions." Well he did have that self-assured and daring quality to him that she found exciting, even if she was trying not to admit it, even then. Added bonus was he was sexy as hell, too.
Jim had picked up a bottle of whiskey, but set it down and instead opened a bottle of ice water and dumped it over his head.
Janice's eyebrows knit together just a little bit at the sound of a splash and dripping water and she looked concerned. "That sounded weird. Are you ok?"
She was also making a mental note to splurge on some really sexy underthings, just in case this flirting came to an actual fruition.
"I needed to cool off," He replied, bluntly.
"Oh, which head did you dump it on, then?" She asked like she was made of 100% pure innocence and genuine wonderment. And 100% pure smart ass.
"Use your imagination, honey cake."
"Mmm, maybe I will, sweetie pie."
Kirk let out a groan, "Still using your imagination?"
"I could be. But that's also for me to know and you to wonder about."
Jim groaned again, "I think I need more ice water." He wasn't actually doing a damn thing either.
"There's always the shower," Janice suggested. See? She's being helpful. Suggesting things like that.
"All right. I'll talk to you later then." He started to hang up.
Janice blinked and stared down at the phone in disbelief, her mouth hanging wide open in a classic 'wut?' sort of way. Was he really hanging up? She made a nngh noise in her throat out of protest, before her brain could scramble to form an actual sentence, comprised of words.
"Yes?" Jim hadn't hung up just yet, "Did you say something? Or should I get into the shower now." This was the sound of clothing coming off.
What? WHAT? Was he? Did she really need to imagine him...? Quick! Say something!
"Oh no, you should probably cool your engines, Captain. By all means, go ahead and I'll just wait right here. Don't let me stop you."
Her mouth shot that out but it wasn't sounding quite the way she intended, sarcasm-wise. Also, that just sounded wrong in general.
He upped the ante, "I've always wanted an audience."
"Don't you have enough people gawking at you on a regular basis?"
"Never enough people, Janice." He laughed, "I'm going to jerk off, you can listen or I can do it in the shower."
Janice's eyes went O.O Because, wow, James T Kirk? You so blunt.
Then her mouth opened and she kind of heard herself saying, as though she'd gone disembodied and far away all of a sudden, "Why don't you do that and I'll just sit here and debate how appropriate it is for me to listen to that sort of thing."
She was not, by the way, hanging up. That thumb is nowhere near that button. >.>
Jim's grin grew three sizes that day, "Feel free to join in any time."