Jiāng Chéng (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} yunmengsectheir) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valarlogs,@ 2021-03-01 05:23:00 |
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| Entry tags: | !complete, jiang cheng, wei ying |
Log -- Jiang Cheng || Wei Ying
‣ WHO: Jiang Cheng || Wei Ying
‣ WHAT: Rough dream fallout
‣ WHEN: After this
‣ WHERE: Park, random
‣ RATING | WARNINGS: Low || No warnings applicable
‣ STATUS: Complete || Log
Bond is stronger than blood. The family grows stronger by bond
Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying
Jiang Cheng had seen a lot of people talk about their dreams on the network that connected the inhabitants of Orange County, but never in a thousand years had he imagined that the dreams would besiege him and do it quite so vividly. The events that had transpired had been traumatic enough without the added emotional weight that had swept over him and sat heavy on his chest.
He’d awoken utterly convinced that he would have blood on his hands, but thankfully he hadn’t. That might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back as he’d already been fragile enough without having to deal with that.
Air had been a smart idea as had getting out of his apartment to go for a walk because the more distance he put between himself and his home the calmer he had started to feel. Jiang Cheng had swung into the grocery store, picking up something to eat and drink, especially as he had missed breakfast in his hurry to put the dream behind him. He’d also picked something up for Wei Ying and it was kept in the bag to one side as he sat on the grass of the park, legs folding beneath him in a posture that no longer felt strange or foreign.
Jiang Cheng sighed, heavily, shoulders slumping and feeling a deep ache in his bones that he knew was not his own.
To say Wei Ying was nervous about this was an understatement. He did not have any idea how Jiang Cheng was going to react to seeing him; whatever had happened in the dream before he fell both Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan knew or had an idea. He just had a crushing sense of grief and loss that stole the breath from his lungs and made him feel dizzy with the knowledge that everything that was happening was his fault and that death had been nothing less than what he deserved.
If those feelings had carried over from the dream, which had definitely done so for Lan Zhan, considering how desperate he had been when he’d turned up at Wei Ying’s apartment that night, he wondered if he wasn’t going to get punched.
Maybe he’d deserve it, he would have to wait for his dreams to tell him more.
He approached the park, wearing an oversized hoodie and ripped black jeans tucked into his combat boots, hair tied back in a braided bun, tilting his head as he saw his brother, slumped on the ground looking defeated.
He wandered over carefully, clearing his throat. “Hey, didi.”
Jiang Cheng had just taken a mouthful of watermelon from the small fruit salad he'd picked up from the grocery store when Wei Ying arrived he was mid-bite so his response wasn't immediate save to offer up the container, offering food.
After having swallowed he finally spoke. "You gonna join me or stand there all day?"
He definitely had a dream hangover, head throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the general feeling of… well, everything. Too many feelings and none of them positive.
Wei Ying snorted softly and leaned forward to take a piece of watermelon out of the container, flopping down opposite his brother a few moments later and crossing his legs, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head and looked at his little brother - five days were still five days and it definitely made him the older brother no matter how much they used to fight about it - with a little frown.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” Jiang Cheng replied dryly as he stole a look at Wei Ying, gaze lingering. Perhaps to replace the image he had in his head of the other hanging from Lan Zhan’s hand off a cliff.
He put another piece of watermelon in his mouth before reaching for the bag that he passed over to Wei Ying, indicating that he should help himself to the contents. He might be the “baby brother” but he did have a habit of looking after his “big brother”.
“I feel like it too.”
“I was really hoping you’d not end up dreaming,” Wei Ying admitted as he took a piece of watermelon with a sad smile, leaning back a little and straightened his legs in front of him. “You’ve been here the same length of time as me so when I started I- I just- I thought you and Yanli-Jie would be skipped.
He munched on the fruit. “You wanna talk about it?”
“Same,” Jiang Cheng shared with a nod, another piece of watermelon going into his mouth and being chewed on. “But it seems that it’s only a matter of time especially if you’re on the network.”
He reached up and combed his fingers through his hair which felt too short now when it hadn’t before. Stupid dreams.
“I just- I’m not sure how to deal with the emotional fallout.”
“I don’t know how much better it’ll make you feel,” Wei Ying said quietly, “but I’m not dead. In the dreams, I mean.”
He stared at the watermelon rind, putting it down beside him. “I mean, I am dead, but I don’t stay dead. Sixteen years later I, uh, stop being dead and come back to life in another body, apparently. I’ve just got to the waking up and being kicked in the ribs bit.”
Wetting his lower lip, he reached over and nudged his brother’s shoulder gently. “So… like I said, do you want to talk about it?”
It did and it didn’t because it raised further questions and Jiang Cheng’s head was already sore enough without thinking about how somebody came back from the dead.
“I don’t know where to begin,” he admitted with a lift of his shoulders. “I can still remember everything that happened and the feelings, Wei Ying, they’re just so… visceral and raw. My chest-” He began, lifting a hand to clutch at the fabric of his hooded sweatshirt, fingers curling very tightly. “It hurts, so much. It’s like- It’s like somebody reached into my chest-”
He exhaled a shaky breath and swallowed. “It just… hurts. And it’s all mixed up with anger, pain, loss, and just this complete and utter sense of desperation that I can’t fully put into words.”
Wei Ying frowned a little and patted his brother’s knee. “I don’t- I mean I don’t have much context for the fight but I’m pretty sure it’s my fault. I- Or at least that I made things worse?”
He squeezed where his hand rested and then shuffled closer, tugging Jiang Cheng into his arms, hugging him tight against his side. “I wish you didn’t have to feel this, didi,” he murmured, “I’m so sorry that it- that you have to feel this way and that you had these dreams. It’s not- it’s not- these dreams don’t seem to be fun for you, me or A-Zhan and I wish I could take that away from you both.”
“In the dreams,” he admitted, “I’m pretty sure you’re mad at me.”
Jiang Cheng felt himself deflate the moment Wei Ying tugged him against his side and wrapped his arms around him, one of his hands lifted to curl around his brother’s wrist where he squeezed firmly.
“I think there is a lot of anger there, in the dreams, but there’s also all these other emotions that are far more intense and I suspect are easier to hide behind anger, gege.”
“I guess we’ll find out,” Wei Ying said quietly. “When we dream more. But whatever happens you know I’m here for you, right?” He kissed the top of his brother’s head and tugged him in a little closer.
There was nothing they couldn’t face together, after all.
He’d awoken utterly convinced that he would have blood on his hands, but thankfully he hadn’t. That might have been the straw that broke the camel’s back as he’d already been fragile enough without having to deal with that.
Air had been a smart idea as had getting out of his apartment to go for a walk because the more distance he put between himself and his home the calmer he had started to feel. Jiang Cheng had swung into the grocery store, picking up something to eat and drink, especially as he had missed breakfast in his hurry to put the dream behind him. He’d also picked something up for Wei Ying and it was kept in the bag to one side as he sat on the grass of the park, legs folding beneath him in a posture that no longer felt strange or foreign.
Jiang Cheng sighed, heavily, shoulders slumping and feeling a deep ache in his bones that he knew was not his own.
To say Wei Ying was nervous about this was an understatement. He did not have any idea how Jiang Cheng was going to react to seeing him; whatever had happened in the dream before he fell both Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan knew or had an idea. He just had a crushing sense of grief and loss that stole the breath from his lungs and made him feel dizzy with the knowledge that everything that was happening was his fault and that death had been nothing less than what he deserved.
If those feelings had carried over from the dream, which had definitely done so for Lan Zhan, considering how desperate he had been when he’d turned up at Wei Ying’s apartment that night, he wondered if he wasn’t going to get punched.
Maybe he’d deserve it, he would have to wait for his dreams to tell him more.
He approached the park, wearing an oversized hoodie and ripped black jeans tucked into his combat boots, hair tied back in a braided bun, tilting his head as he saw his brother, slumped on the ground looking defeated.
He wandered over carefully, clearing his throat. “Hey, didi.”
Jiang Cheng had just taken a mouthful of watermelon from the small fruit salad he'd picked up from the grocery store when Wei Ying arrived he was mid-bite so his response wasn't immediate save to offer up the container, offering food.
After having swallowed he finally spoke. "You gonna join me or stand there all day?"
He definitely had a dream hangover, head throbbing, but it was nothing compared to the general feeling of… well, everything. Too many feelings and none of them positive.
Wei Ying snorted softly and leaned forward to take a piece of watermelon out of the container, flopping down opposite his brother a few moments later and crossing his legs, resting his elbows on his knees. He tilted his head and looked at his little brother - five days were still five days and it definitely made him the older brother no matter how much they used to fight about it - with a little frown.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks,” Jiang Cheng replied dryly as he stole a look at Wei Ying, gaze lingering. Perhaps to replace the image he had in his head of the other hanging from Lan Zhan’s hand off a cliff.
He put another piece of watermelon in his mouth before reaching for the bag that he passed over to Wei Ying, indicating that he should help himself to the contents. He might be the “baby brother” but he did have a habit of looking after his “big brother”.
“I feel like it too.”
“I was really hoping you’d not end up dreaming,” Wei Ying admitted as he took a piece of watermelon with a sad smile, leaning back a little and straightened his legs in front of him. “You’ve been here the same length of time as me so when I started I- I just- I thought you and Yanli-Jie would be skipped.
He munched on the fruit. “You wanna talk about it?”
“Same,” Jiang Cheng shared with a nod, another piece of watermelon going into his mouth and being chewed on. “But it seems that it’s only a matter of time especially if you’re on the network.”
He reached up and combed his fingers through his hair which felt too short now when it hadn’t before. Stupid dreams.
“I just- I’m not sure how to deal with the emotional fallout.”
“I don’t know how much better it’ll make you feel,” Wei Ying said quietly, “but I’m not dead. In the dreams, I mean.”
He stared at the watermelon rind, putting it down beside him. “I mean, I am dead, but I don’t stay dead. Sixteen years later I, uh, stop being dead and come back to life in another body, apparently. I’ve just got to the waking up and being kicked in the ribs bit.”
Wetting his lower lip, he reached over and nudged his brother’s shoulder gently. “So… like I said, do you want to talk about it?”
It did and it didn’t because it raised further questions and Jiang Cheng’s head was already sore enough without thinking about how somebody came back from the dead.
“I don’t know where to begin,” he admitted with a lift of his shoulders. “I can still remember everything that happened and the feelings, Wei Ying, they’re just so… visceral and raw. My chest-” He began, lifting a hand to clutch at the fabric of his hooded sweatshirt, fingers curling very tightly. “It hurts, so much. It’s like- It’s like somebody reached into my chest-”
He exhaled a shaky breath and swallowed. “It just… hurts. And it’s all mixed up with anger, pain, loss, and just this complete and utter sense of desperation that I can’t fully put into words.”
Wei Ying frowned a little and patted his brother’s knee. “I don’t- I mean I don’t have much context for the fight but I’m pretty sure it’s my fault. I- Or at least that I made things worse?”
He squeezed where his hand rested and then shuffled closer, tugging Jiang Cheng into his arms, hugging him tight against his side. “I wish you didn’t have to feel this, didi,” he murmured, “I’m so sorry that it- that you have to feel this way and that you had these dreams. It’s not- it’s not- these dreams don’t seem to be fun for you, me or A-Zhan and I wish I could take that away from you both.”
“In the dreams,” he admitted, “I’m pretty sure you’re mad at me.”
Jiang Cheng felt himself deflate the moment Wei Ying tugged him against his side and wrapped his arms around him, one of his hands lifted to curl around his brother’s wrist where he squeezed firmly.
“I think there is a lot of anger there, in the dreams, but there’s also all these other emotions that are far more intense and I suspect are easier to hide behind anger, gege.”
“I guess we’ll find out,” Wei Ying said quietly. “When we dream more. But whatever happens you know I’m here for you, right?” He kissed the top of his brother’s head and tugged him in a little closer.
There was nothing they couldn’t face together, after all.