I'm no Jedi (ahsoka_tano) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-09-06 04:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, ahsoka tano, kanan jarrus |
“I’ve applied to one place though
Who: Kanan and Ahsoka
What: A lunch meeting, chatting
When: Before Ahsoka messaged Kanan about getting a job
Where: Burger King
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
Lunch was an unusual thing for Ahsoka to do with anyone, and it didn’t matter that she’d suggested it.
Mostly she was in a weird place, mentally, and felt the need to connect with someone who knew her in the dreams. Talking to friends she didn’t live with was probably also a healthy thing to do.
“Fancy meeting you in this fancy place.” She had a grin and a tray.
The Dreams could be and often were taxing. Kanan seen what they could do to people, physically and emotionally. He, himself, was still getting used to his new life. It hadn’t been easy. There had been many, many days in which Kanan had been overwhelmed and lost, unable to understand what had happened to him, much less cope. Fortunately, he’d had friends who refused to let him give up, no matter how much he wanted to simply accept what he believed were his limitations.
His friends were great, pushed him when he needed it, but just as he didn’t truly didn’t understand their dreams, they didn’t understand his. Even if they could simply turn on a TV or read a blog. It was so much different when you actually lived it. Ahsoka had. It was good to get the chance to talk with her.
Lunch today was at Burger King. They had chicken fries, which was something Ahsoka could eat, and Kanan had to admit, chicken fries were damn good.
He grinned up towards Ahsoka’s voice. “This is the place to be.” He said. “Best chicken fries in town.”
“Only chicken fries in town. You’d think there’d be more competition about that sort of thing.” Ahsoka had already ordered, chicken fries and a whopper. She’d discovered she could handle a bun as long as there was meat on it. Lettuce was straight out, and so were most onions.
She missed onions.
“Maybe it’s a trademark thing?” Kanan answered thoughtfully. Though he wasn’t too sure how one would be able to trademark chicken. Maybe it was the fries part?
Kanan had also ordered his lunch, a double whopper with bacon -- because bacon was awesome -- fries and chicken fries. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Ahsoka he was hungry. Carolina was helping him get more comfortable in the kitchen, but he wasn’t quite at the point where he trusted himself in there by himself. Now that Carolina had moved back in with her brother, Kanan’s kitchen was starting to fall into disuse once again. So getting invited out for lunch was good. Getting to catch up with Ahsoka was better. He hadn’t really had the chance to speak with her much since the event in May.
“How are you doing, Ahsoka?” He asked once Ahsoka had taken her seat.
“Me? I’ve been fine, for the most part. No more dreams, personal life is nice…” She held up her hand when her number was called, and then returned with her food. “I quit my job. I’ve never been happier to do something in my life!”
Doing the work she’d been doing had been a sure-fire way to the dark side. More than once she’d considered using the force to choke someone on the other end of the line. It was so, so tempting.
The Dark Side would always be there to tempt. Kanan would be lying if he said there hadn’t been times over the last year he’d wanted to use the Force in ways that weren’t exactly kosher. He had gone on a mission to Las Vegas after a colleague-turned-competitor had send men to kill him. Said mission had been to send a message to the competitor and anyone else who decided to pull any crap now that Janus had retired. But there was an amount of revenge mixed in. And, oh, it had been tempting to Force push the asshole right out the window of his penthouse suite. The presence of Carolina, Wash and Katou had kept Kanan grounded enough not to give in to the urge. Considering Kanan’s control over the Force at the time hadn’t been great, the scene wouldn’t have been pretty.
But the temptation was there. It would always be there. Great power and great responsibility and all that. It was something he and Ahsoka would have to wrestle with.
Kanan’s head tilted a bit at the news Ahsoka had quit her job. Her voice sounded excited and Kanan wasn’t sure he’d heard her be excited before. “What are you doing now?” He asked curiously.
Even Ahsoka would have been tempted under the right circumstances. But she’d also witnessed what could happen, her own girlfriend having danced with the devil. She hadn’t exactly approved, even if she could understand it.
“School mostly. And helping out at the temple more with my dad.” She tilted her head. “Which is really weird, seeing him as a human. He’s Plo Koon in our dreams. But still the closest thing to a father figure I have here.” Did Obi-wan count? He was more like a big brother.
“I’ve applied to one place though. Somewhere where I can help people who really need it.”
Kanan smiled. “I never got the chance to meet Plo Koon in the Dreams,” he admitted, “but I think I understand what you mean. Regardless of what we Dream, we can’t help but look at the world here a little differently...well...a lot differently.” Especially in his case. “But he is still your dad, so getting the chance to spend time with him is good. You should take every chance you get.” Kanan didn’t have that kind of connection with anyone here or in the Dreams. If anything he was the father figure, which really was rather laughable when he thought about it.
That curious tilt was back. “Where did you apply?”
“Yeah.” Ahsoka nodded. Jedi weren’t really supposed to have family. That was part of the whole attachments thing. But she’d never been good at that, and she wasn’t a jedi. Besides, Togruta were a very social species. She’d never felt at home alone. “Spending time with him has been nice. Even if I hope he never dreams.”
She shrugged. “It’s kind of a shelter. The pay isn’t great, but helping people makes up for it.”
Maybe it was because Kanan’d had a very different experience as a padawan. He knew Jedi weren’t supposed to have families, or attachments, but that was a very difficult thing to do. Kanan didn’t have any blood relatives -- any that he remembered -- but he did have people around him he cared about. None of them were in the county, and as much as he missed them, these people he’d never actually met, he hoped that they never would appear. “Hopefully he won’t.” Kanan agreed.
“A shelter?” Kanan asked with interest. “That’s great, Ahsoka. What kind of shelter?”
Seeing Anakin or Obi-wan would be nice. Kaeden. Hera and Sabine too. Even Barriss. But it was better that they never show up and never dream. Barriss and Anakin in particular. Ahsoka didn’t want to see what the dreams could do to a peaceful soul like Barriss. She’d already seen what the war had done to her there.
“Woman’s shelter,” she explained. “It specializes in refugees and immigrants. The kind of people normally ignored.”
Kanan took a bite out of his burger. It was fast food, not gourmet by any stretch, but damn it tasted good. He raised a brow hearing the shelter Ahsoka had her hopes set on working at. Working at any form of a shelter had to be exhausting. Kanan had been to a couple of homeless shelters, a long time ago, when he was still Caleb. Back before he and Janus had crossed paths and he had just been another teenage runaway. He’d seen the misery, heard the fear and felt the utter hopelessness.
He was quiet a moment as he chewed his burger and remembered those cold terrifying nights many years ago. It was good work, what Ahsoka wanted to do. Needed work. There weren’t enough people who felt as though they could step up and do it, much less heard the call to. He just hoped that it wouldn’t wear her down.
He gave her a smile. “Good for you,” he said warmly. “I think you’d do a lot of good at a place like that. How long ago did you apply? When will you find out? What kind of work would you be doing?”
It was a good burger. Something about that flame broiling that made it a lot tastier than some other places. Not as good as some of the things Yang could cook though. Ahsoka hoped she never moved out.
“I applied about a week ago. I should find out in a couple of days. There’s supposed to be a couple of interviews and like, a day where I follow people around. If I get hired, I mean. I think I’d be doing a little of everything. Whatever needs to be done. I can fudge some of the training with comforting and counseling people, thanks to my dreams.”
The Dreams definitely would serve her in that regard. Probably more so than actual training done anywhere else. It was nice to hear the Dreams being beneficial for a change. Kanan took a bite of his burger and nodded. “I’m sure they’ve already given you as much experience as you’d need,” he said after swallowing. He gave her a smile, cloudy eyes behind his aviators looking somewhere over Ahsoka’s shoulder. “Let me know if you get the job, yeah?”
“The tricky part is translating that into something believable on a resume.” Ahsoka wondered if the Agency could offer that kind of help. She’d have to suggest it.
“I’ll definitely let you know. I’m really excited for it. It has to be a lot more fulfilling than what I was doing.”
“There’s gotta be some way to spin it,” Kanan said, thoughtfully chewing on a french fry. “I haven’t had much experience writing a resume myself.” Or any experience. Smuggling and black market dealing wasn’t exactly something you submitted a resume to be.
“That’s because you’re a dirty dirty smuggler,” Ahsoka teased. She flicked a fry into the air and into her mouth. She didn’t even have to use the Force. “Ever think of going legit? Like actual shipping or something?”
“Mm,” Kanan grunted swallowing a bite. “Retired dirty old smuggler,” he corrected with a smirk. “Kinda hard to do that kind of thing now that I can’t drive.” He made a vague gesture with his french fry, “and I do have a legit job, by they way. Sort of. Mostly legit.”
“Mostly legit. Okay, spill it, Jarrus?” She finished her burger and pointed at him. Knowing he couldn’t see the point, she added a force nudge to ‘show’ him the point. “How can it be mostly legit?”
The little “nudge” caused the french fry in Kanan’s finger to fall back to his tray. He raised a brow across the table at his companion. “I do a bit of information gathering these days,” he said and that was really all he could say about it. “People tend to ignore those of us who are...what’s the P.C. term? ‘Differently Abled’?” Sounded like a load of crock to Kanan. “It sucks, but it’s true and works in my favor.”
“You’re right.” Ahsoka could point to occasions even in her dreams, where the Jedi could even ignore that kind of thing. So she could see how Kanan could use that to his advantage. “Okay, I won’t press. But if you ever need help with anything, you’ve got my number.”
“Naturally,” Kanan nodded. Ahsoka may have been younger than him here, but she was kind of a mentor in the Dreams. It was a weird kind of dynamic, but it somehow seemed to work for them. “Same for you, you know. I expect to hear about the new job when you get it.”
It was a weird relationship. But it did work for them, and Ahsoka was glad for it. “I’ll tell you everything. Well everything I’m allowed to!”