Vanessa Cleveland can turn invisible (filiampandora) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-06-04 23:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | maxwell trevelyan (the inquisitor), vanessa cleveland |
Who: Vanessa Cleveland and Maxwell Trevelyan
What: Practicing her ability
When: End of May
Where: Her apartment
Rating/Warnings: None
Vanessa was Nasir’s best friend, Max knew that - but they’d met a few times one-on-one, and he’d helped her with a certain invisibility situation (meaning, she’d woken up with her face more than out of sorts and was understandably terrified). During that time, he’d offered to continue assisting her as she learned to control the abilities that bled through into this world - he may not have invisibility powers per se, but he knew what it was like to be saddled with power in general, something others may not always understand; mages in Thedas, they understood that all too well. And how Templars sought to control them, like they automatically could tell what was best for mages despite not really knowing a damn thing about what they endured on a daily basis.
Max didn’t want that for Vanessa - he considered her a friend too, and he would look out for her. Which was why he went to her apartment for a little practice session, and to drop off more of that blood lotus tea in case she had trouble sleeping. Apparently, she was now living with some random guy - Max didn’t know the details, but it wasn’t his business. He’d just attempt to remind Nasir of that too, if he got too protective.
Shouldering the bag he had with him, he knocked on the door - he knew she was home, since he’d texted first, but he was kind of curious about the ‘roommate.’ Was it that, or something more?
***
Vanessa was taking advantage of the time between Max’s text and his arrival to finish reviewing her final essay one last time before emailing it to the professor and finally being done with that class. She’d asked Penny to go someplace so that she and Max could practice without her getting distracted by him being there. She didn’t find herself rearranging her face anymore but controlling when her invisibility kicked in and when it didn’t was still a struggle. Which was a huge part of why she and Max were still getting together to practice. She practiced on her own but she knew that the sessions with her friend were helping too. He could talk her through staying calm and coming back when she couldn’t do it on her own.
“Coming!” She called when she heard his knock, hitting send on the email and then closing her laptop lid as she stood to go get the door, loose sweat pants and tshirt making a marked difference from how she normally was dressed when she was meeting up with someone. She pulled open the door and smiled as she stepped back to let him in. “Hey. Perfect timing, I just sent off my last essay for this semester so no distractions.”
***
“Oh? Well, congrats. Any plans for the summer?” Max smiled, stepping inside the apartment. Nasir was busy with end-of-the-school-year shenanigans too; when it came time for finals, he usually locked himself in the library or wherever else to hunker down and study, and didn’t often resurface. Trevelyan had to remind him to actually eat and sleep sometimes, but he remembered what it was like in college - he’d been the same way, and it hadn’t been that long ago.
He reached into the bag and offered the canister of blood lotus tea as well. “I brought you some more, in case you have a bad dream and need to ease back into sleep.” Bad dream or bad Dream - there was a distinct difference, as they all knew.
***
“Summer classes. I want to try to get ahead with my prerequisites so that I don’t have to take them in the fall with all the freshmen registering for them. I also just kind of want to make up for the time I delayed starting college.” Vanessa told him with a small smile. She took the container from him. “Thanks Max. I kept meaning to come by and get some more but there just never seemed to be enough time in the day. And I really do try to limit the number of times I call you and Nasir in the middle of the night.” Plus with Penny staying at her place more and more often if she did have a bad dream she would just roll over and snuggle up to him to go back to sleep. Or wake him up so he could give her something to think about that was a hell of a lot more fun than a nightmare.
“Plus with Penny here - I’ve got somebody to help me get back to sleep so I can make do with only half a cup of the tea once I got really low.” She said, walking into the kitchen to put it away before coming back out to the living room. “I’m also gonna try to go visit my dad and his wife in New York before my siblings have to be back at school in the fall. Get some time in with them and all. Assuming I can be sure I won’t randomly go invisible during dinner one night of course.” She was trying to make light of it but that was her biggest concern when it came to visiting her family. She hadn’t told them about any of what she was going through since moving back out here.
***
Ah, yes, the mention of the illusive ‘roommate.’ Max really was curious, but he wouldn’t pry too much. “How is that going with...Penny, is it?” he asked. “I’m sure you have enough of Nasir telling you that if you get hurt, he’ll punch the guy into the stratosphere - so I’ll just say that if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Nasir really would punch someone into the stratosphere too - hell, he’d punched spiders in the face (a romantic memory, certainly, but still didn’t lessen Max’s arachnophobia) so why not aim for the stars?
But alright, let’s see. He came over to help Vanessa, not grill her about her love life. “Let’s go sit and relax and we’ll go through a few exercises - you can show me what you’ve been practicing too.”
***
“Yeah it’s Penny. It’s going okay. He’s got his own abilities making his life complicated but I’m pretty sure he’s got someone helping him learn to control them. No kitchen fires lately thankfully but neither of us are pushing each other for information about the abilities are dreams are giving us or who’s helping us with them.” It just seemed to fit with the philosophy they both had apparently adopted of not pushing each other for information. They just kind of told each other things as it became necessary. It worked for them probably because they weren’t really in a relationship. She didn’t know what the hell they were but it wasn’t really a relationship. It was more a friends with benefits situation. That had sprung out of a one night stand. Or what was only supposed to be a one night stand. “I’m pretty happy right now Max. I promise you’ll know if that changes. Because Nasir will know and I’m pretty sure he tells you everything which he should. How are the wedding plans coming anyway?” She asked, happy to listen while she moved her book bag off the couch so they could both sit down.
“Mostly I’ve been practicing trying to make my hands or feet disappear. I’m too scared to try while practicing alone to make my whole body disappear. But my hands and feet - simple and small and I can’t mess that up too badly right?” She said, making herself comfortable before showing him what she meant by making her left hand disappear and then slowly reappear.
***
“Well, good. I’m glad,” Max smiled, and he didn’t add anything like so when do we get to meet him and have an awkward dinnerrrrrrrrr or something dumb that would surely end up with everyone embarrassed. Though he’d host dinner if they wanted, but hey - he was pretty sure it would just be Nasir glaring and hissing like a feral cat the whole time. This was the man Trevelyan was marrying.
Speaking of that and all. “We actually picked a date?” he said, settling on the couch next to Vanessa. “In December, when he’s on a break from school. We decided to just do a courthouse ceremony because it’s simple, yet nice, and the idea of planning an actual ceremony and big huge thing makes both our heads hurt. But then after the courthouse we’ll do a party at The Hanged Man tavern, which you’re definitely invited to. Bring Penny if you want.” If they were still together by then, or figured out what the hell they were. Max was rooting for them.
“Okay, so let’s see. Yeah, I think turning your whole body invisible is too much,” he agreed. “It’s best to go gradually until you get the hang of it. You’ve come a long way though.” She definitely had - even just a hand was progress from rearranging her face and not knowing how to fix it. Control was key. “Maybe try moving it upward - along your arm, to your shoulder? Eventually so you’ve got one side of your body, then the other will follow. But your focus has definitely improved.” That was important, because if she was panicking then only disaster would follow.
***
“Maybe it’ll snow again this December. It makes everything look so pretty here. It’s a different type of weird than we normally get and I really like it. Especially since it never lasts too long.” Vanessa said with a smile. “And you both know I’ll be there to help you celebrate. Even if I have to do so with water.” She wasn’t 21 until next year and while she would have a drink at home or at a friends house, that wasn’t a public space where there could be consequences for people. She wasn’t sure what those might be exactly but she wasn’t going to try to find out. “We’ll have to see what comes around in December. He’s not really planning on staying around here as far as I know.” She said with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant about it.
Vanessa laughed a little bit when he mentioned she’d come a long way. “Thanks. I’m just glad that my features have quit shifting in my sleep. And as long as I can keep my fingers all on the right hands and the right spots - I’m counting it as a win,” she told him before clearing her throat and letting out a deep breath as she focused on turning her hand invisible and then moving it up her arm to her elbow before stopping. “Okay I’m just going to ask - is it weird for you? Seeing my arm just stop? Because it’s weird. And it feels like it’s floating unattached to me. I know it is but it doesn’t feel that way.” She asked, trying to keep her focus while talking before slowly letting it go and making her arm reappear as she kept calm. “I can carry on a conversation while using this…” she said amazement in her voice as she realized how far she’d come.
***
It was a little weird seeing that, but mostly, Max was just proud of Vanessa for harnessing her ability. And for being able to carry on a conversation - that was a good thing. A good sign. “That must mean it’s becoming more natural to you. So you feel lighter, when you turn parts of your body invisible?” he asked, reaching over and extending a hand to see if on his end he could actually feel where her arm would be. Or if it would just be...air.
“I mean, it does look awesome. Not entirely weird. The rogues in my dreamworld could do this. Turn invisible,” he amended. “It came in handy during a fight.” Not a talent mages could learn, unfortunately, but they all had their own particular skills and strengths.
***
Vanessa felt Max’s hand move through the spot where hers had just been. “Okay that feels weird. It was like I could feel your hand moving through mine.” She said with a little laugh. “It feels like I’m still there but the molecules are looser and lighter. Did you feel anything when you did that?” She asked, concentrating to bring her hand back into view.
“I’m a long way from feeling comfortable using it in any sort of fighting situation. Plus I’m pretty sure it would get some attention at the gym if I did it while training. Did they ever come back with things in the wrong place? The rogues I mean.”
***
“Didn’t feel anything except kind of a rush of air? There’s a heaviness to it, sort of,” Max tried to explain - as in, he could tell something was supposed to be there but his hand still passed through anyway. How odd. “But no, whenever I saw rogues do this - “ Like Sera, for example. Or even Isabela, when she’d briefly worked with the Inquisition, “...they just disappeared and then faded back into view. Everything was where it should be. Usually what they would do was disappear and then reappear behind their opponent, and literally stab them in the back.”
That made him grin crookedly. Fond memories, of a sort. Especially when he thought of Sera (and her bee grenades - those damn things could easily take out a whole dragon’s wing). She was scrappy and a lot tougher than she looked. “So, you know. Ideas for later if you need to use your skills in a combat situation.”
Hey, he wouldn’t put it past Orange County to throw more things at them. Considering Stormtroopers seemed to be a yearly thing now.
***
Vanessa tried to imagine stabbing someone in the back and found it surprisingly easier than she’d expected and she shuddered as she realized that. She could actually see herself stabbing someone in the back if she had to and honestly - she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. About knowing she had that in her. “When I first moved back here I never could have thought that I’d be able to think about doing that in any situation but now...I can see myself doing that if the situation called for it. I’m not sure what that says about me.” She told him.
Actually she wasn’t sure what bothered her more the fact that she could see herself doing it or the fact that a part of her knew that if it came down to it she wouldn’t feel all that bad if she had to.
***
“It says you’re pragmatic and willing to do what’s necessary to protect yourself and others,” Max reassured, because he certainly didn’t believe it said anything bad. He would do the same thing - and while living here? He’d put it into practice more than once, let’s just say. “It’s not like you’d get any pleasure out of it. You’d just be doing what needed to be done.”
Stabbing someone in the back for pleasure, well. That was perhaps quite different than defending one’s self or a loved one.
“Unless you would get pleasure out of it,” he teased. Though he knew Vanessa wasn’t like that. She was just a college student trying to survive whatever this place happened to throw at them, maybe even build a life here; that’s what they were all trying to do.
***
Vanessa laughed a little at Max’s obvious teasing. “Only a little and even then only certain people,” she responded, letting herself relax a little with his reassurance that it didn’t say anything horrible about her. “I’ve changed since moving back here in ways I never thought possible. It’s kind of a lot to take in at times.” She looked away in silence for a few seconds before turning her attention back to him.
“Okay so I think you said something about exercises for me to try to keep improving my control?”
***
“It can be,” he agreed - and he understood how daunting change, even small change sometimes, actually was. Max felt as if he’d changed a lot as well (besides losing an arm, his magic set so off-kilter for awhile, which was something he’d struggled to come to terms with). “But you do have people here who get it, and are right alongside you.” Like him, and Nasir, and probably her ‘roommate’ Penny too - living where they did wasn’t easy, yet they stayed for the good things.
But, right, yes. Exercises. “I sort of liken it to building muscle tone - it’s the same sort of thing, you push yourself little by little and build up that control,” he said. “Do the same thing you did with your hand before, only extend it up to your shoulder - the focus should be on holding it as long as you can. I’ll time you. And when you fade back, focus on the placement of your limbs.”
***
She gave him a grateful smile when he let her change the topic away from emotional topics that she really wasn’t in the mood to face head on right now. Someday soon she’d need to ask Max about sitting down to talk about them but that wasn’t why he’d come over today. Getting control of one situation at a time - it had gotten her through 17 years of foster homes for the most part.
“Muscle tone. You’ve been talking to Nasir about this stuff haven’t you?” she joked, rolling her shoulders as she took a deep breath in and let it out slowly to relax her nerves. “Same thing I did earlier only all the way up to my shoulder,” she said quietly, talking to herself as she lifted her arm up again so that Max could see it and concentrated on making it disappear and holding it as long as she could once her arm was invisible up to the shoulder. Deliberately not looking down at the spot she could feel the molecules of her arm still there, feeling lighter and just weird before slowly bringing it back into view a minute or so later.
***
Well, Max couldn’t really dispute that - his darling fiance sort of creeped his way into everyday life for the necromancer. It was a part of being in love, or something like that. He merely chuckled fondly at Vanessa’s observation and, true to his word, silently counted the seconds she was able to keep her arm invisible - she held for a good minute, steady with it too, and he was proud of her.
“That was well done,” he nodded. “You went all the way up to your shoulder too, so basically almost half your body.” Besides her leg and torso, but hey, it was more than she’d been able to do a week ago. Progress was made. “Try again, but start lower - not just your arm, but maybe a little bit beneath. Turn a rib or two invisible, shuffling the molecules?” he grinned. “I think in Victorian times that would have come in handy.” When women were stuffing themselves into corsets - they looked nice, but were murder on the bones and organs. Not really worth it.
He’d have Vanessa do a few more exercises, strengthening her control and getting her more and more used to the feeling of being invisible, before she tired out and they had to call it a day. Then he’d be back another day, and they’d keep working on it - the results for all the work would be worth it, entirely so.
***
“Okay so when does having these abilities start to feel normal?” Vanessa asked him, taking a moment to let her molecules snap all the way back in place before beginning to think about how to turn a rib invisible. Her arm was easy - she could see it. She’d never tried to use her ability to make a part of her she couldn’t see disappear. Accidents when she got flustered was different of course - and thankfully were happening a lot less often each week.
“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever decide I want to try the corset thing myself. Stupidest fashion trend that’s ever come back around as far as I’m concerned.” She said, taking a moment to roll her neck before closing her eyes and turning towards him slightly. “Okay. I’m not sure how to tell if I’ve made one of my ribs disappear so you might need to help check on that when I start disappearing.” There weren’t a lot of people she trusted enough to touch her to see if she managed to make a rib disappear but Max was on that list.
***
“I think when they become a part of your everyday life, when they become a part of you - at first my magic didn’t feel ‘normal’ because I would accidentally summon spirits or light curtains on fire,” Max said sheepishly; ah, yes, great memories. But it was all part of the learning process. “But then it was just - I knew I had the choice about it, it all clicked into place. When you feel like you have the choice about what you do with your ability is when it truly becomes yours.”
If that made sense. Vanessa was almost there though, he could tell. Soon she really would be comfortable enough to make herself disappear and reappear without overthinking much, or panicking.
And he was comfortable enough as well, to check her ribs (any pig of a trainer would be like ‘make your tits disappear and I’ll see if it worked!’ but that clearly wasn’t Max). He simply rested his good hand on her side when her arm shifted, when it looked kind of shimmery, like heat bouncing off a hot car hood on a scorching day. “You definitely made a rib disappear, and you now have an eighteen inch-waist,” he teased playfully. “Nice job.”
He didn’t want to push her too much, however; if she was overtired, that’s when accidents might happen. “Need a break though?”
***
She couldn’t help the little laugh at his comment about lighting curtains on fire - she’d heard about that story, it was adorable and hilarious and kind of sweet all at once. “I’m still finding myself disappearing when I get flustered or something at school. And sometimes here at home but not as much anymore. I’ve more or less gotten used to how things are around here.” Vanessa told him, her face heating up a little as she thought about some of the things that had made her start to vanish around the house right after Penny had moved in. “In the dreams...I think of myself as a freak so I’m kind of scared I won’t ever get to the point of thinking of them as a part of me like that. There or here. Even though I know a lot more people here that have abilities. Unless I change how I think about them in the dreams as I get older. It really sucks having to relive childhood like this.” And it was probably only going to get worse unless by some chance she lucked out and got to skip most of the teenage years. She was not looking forward to reliving those anytime soon.
His teasing comment about an 18-inch waist almost made her lose her concentration entirely but she didn’t. Her arm shimmered back into view somewhat before she managed to get it back under control. “Almost lost it right after I got it,” she teased back. She tried to hold it as long as she had just her arm but she couldn’t and she brought her arm back into view with a sigh. “That’s something I’m going to have to work on.” She almost expected to be sore in her side where she’d made her rib disappear but she didn’t. Just a little...strange and almost tingly as her molecules slid back into place around it.
“I was just thinking maybe now would be a good place to call it a day. I’m starting to get tired. I’m not sleepy but I can feel it coming if that makes sense.”
***
“Magic, and abilities in general, are very tied to our emotions. It’s why those sorts of things get tripped when we’re flustered, but that will go away,” Max promised. “And just remember, you’re not a freak - I can even put you in touch with Isabela if you want, she can show you exactly how she does that disappear and reappear invisibility stabbing thing.” Because Trevelyan could work with Vanessa on control and practice, but actual instruction? Well, maybe it would help to talk to someone who knew how to really turn invisible.
That would be for later. Now, he would leave her to her sleeping devices.
***
“If you wouldn’t mind putting me in touch with her that would be great. The more help I can get mastering this the better I’ll feel” Vanessa asked, standing up to walk with Max to the door so she could lock it behind him. She had no clue when Penny would be getting back to the house and even though she wasn’t tired right now the idea of laying down for a little while to relax was too tempting for her to pass it up while she had the place to herself.