Jemma Simmons is a terrible liar (needanewplan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-03-30 20:05:00 |
|
|||
Well, that had certainly been unpleasant. Jemma couldn’t remember much of what had happened on the mission with Natasha. She remembered feeling continuously anxious as well as uncomfortable but had in her typical fashion brushed it off. Then there was nothing but blackness as she had fallen into a coma. To be honest, she didn’t even know how many days she’d been out or just how close to death she’d gotten. All she knew was that upon coming to, she felt bad for worrying the others and being an inconvenience. But that was the way it tended to be for her.
However now she was in recovery, which meant a lot of reading scientific articles while getting periodic check ups to make sure that whatever it was the Doctor had come up with worked. She’d be more excited about that later, once the embarrassment wore off and she wasn’t still tired. She understood why she still felt weak and tired, she was healing and that took energy and well, it had been a really close call. But it didn’t change the fact that she would prefer being back at work.
No matter. She at least could keep up with paperwork, as well as the supposed light reading she was doing at the moment on different scientists in the area, especially those who showed up on the network. It never hurt to start researching them early in case they would be a good fit for the Agency.
From the time Natasha had told her that Jemma was unconscious until the time that Jemma was given the cure and it was deemed that she would recover, Cosima had been a complete wreck. She’d barely left Jemma’s side, except for when someone forced her to go get some rest or get something to eat. Otherwise, she was sitting there talking to Jemma. She didn’t know if she could hear her or not, but the talking helped keep her from totally losing it.
It had been an immense relief when Jemma had finally woken up. She’d still need time to recover, but Cosima was feeling more confident now that Jemma wasn’t going to die. She wasn’t ready for that by any stretch of the imagination.
Now that Jemma was awake, Cosima had stopped to get some flowers and a large, cuddly teddy bear to help brighten up the room. She also had some science journals in her bag to give to Jemma. It would be something else she could read in the event she’d already exhausted what she already had to read. Teddy bear tucked under her arm and flowers in hand, she knocked at the door of Jemma’s room as she stepped in.
“Hey, you up for some company?” She asked with a smile.
It was true that people could hear what was said to them while they were in a coma. It was how in the dream she had known about the civil war the heroes had once again gotten themselves into. And so she had known that Cosima had been by her side. Not that Jemma would have doubted that fact. It was the same way she’d been when Cosima had been sick, doing whatever it was she could to help, breaking down when she was alone.
Having just finished the current journal article she’d been reading, the biochemist blinked at the knock on her door before smiling as she noticed Cosima.
“Cosima, hello.”
It was always brighter when her girlfriend was there. Well yes, sometimes her dreams tended to be dramatic (understatement) but for now, it was relatively quiet on the dream front, for which she was thankful.
“I’m always up for your company.”
Cosima’s smile widened as she came into the room. It was definitely good to see her girlfriend’s smile again. She’d missed it. Hopefully things would be quiet on the dream front while Jemma recovered.
“I brought you some flowers to give the room some cheer.” Cosima had already put them in a vase with water, but it was a beautiful and colorful assortment. She set it down on a table where Jemma could see the flowers without them being in the way.
“And then I couldn’t quite pass this guy up. I thought you might like something squishy and cute.” Cosima said as she came over to Jemma’s side, holding out the teddy bear for her. One could hardly go wrong with an adorable teddy bear, right?
Jemma had missed smiling. Or an actual one, not the one she’d fallen into of trying to show that everything was fine before she had just gotten too tired to do even that. But she certainly did hope that things would be quiet on the dream front for a little bit at least. The one set of dreams was done, she knew her main set was going to start up at some point but she wasn’t thinking about that. Then there were Cosima’s dreams. Though there did tend to be lulls in their strange dream trade off for situations like this. So that had to count for something.
But her eyes widened as did her smile at the flowers.
“You shouldn’t have, but thank you.” Because the flowers did brighten the room and made it a little less claustrophobic. “I thought I had you for that, but I will take a teddy bear as well.”
“I wanted to.” They did brighten the room up, but it was mostly done to bring a smile to Jemma’s face. The worst, it seemed, had passed. Now it was recovery, but at least Jemma was alive and not part Deathlok.
She laughed a bit. “Are you calling me squishy and cute? Because I can totally agree with that statement.” Cosima teased, then settled on the edge of the bed. “It’s really good to see you awake.” Which it was. Cosima had been worried and fearful. There was also a twinge of guilt that she hadn’t been able to do more work on the cure at the end, but her mind was far from work. She didn’t have the focus needed to help the Doctor, so she had simply stayed with Jemma and provided any and all answer she could when asked about Jemma’s condition and the things that he been tried to cure her of her illness.
It seemed oddly cyclical that both Cosima and Jemma had gone through life-threatening illness. But she supposed that was also part of what made them who they were as a couple. Those who get sick together live together? Or something of that sort.
“Yes, yes I am. So at least you’re able to agree with my assessment.” But it was accurate. Cosima was quite cute and squishy and good for cuddling with. Yes, Jemma could cuddle. While she wasn’t the most expressive with such matters in public or the like, she did enjoy it.
Still, it was nice to be awake and no longer dying. Sure the exhausted and weak thing was annoying but she could deal with it. “I’m happy to be awake. I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”
Because she remembered how she had felt even as she’d helped Martha put things together. She was so used to being the one to fix things, that pressure, even as she felt it crushing her at times during Cosima’s illness. But it was oddly cyclical that Cosima had gotten sick and then Jemma. Though the pattern remained, the only difference seeming to be that while Cosima’s dreams came periodically and were upsetting they all did seem to focus on the one illness then whatever weird Dyad thing that was happening while Jemma’s and the world she lived in seemed to have five hundred things happening at once so it was less predictable in that matter.
Not that it mattered in the end. They had one another to help them get through the dreams when they got to be too much.
Perhaps one of the positives of these dreams was the fact that Cosima’s dreams were more predictable. While the threats tended to come from many different angles and many different people, they all had one source, Dyad. And it was always related to being a clone instead of something else. Cosima never really knew what Jemma’s dreams would throw at her. There’d been the monolith, and this illness. What else would bleed over?
Though at least here, Jemma hadn’t needed to be turned into a deathlok to save her life.
“It’s not your fault, so try not to worry about it. Besides, I understand how you felt when I was sick. So I suppose you could say we’re even now?” Cosima teased with a smile. At least for the moment, they could relax and catch their breath as Jemma recovered from this. She took Jemma’s hand in hers, giving it a little squeeze. “Do you know how long it’ll be before you can go home?” Even if Jemma would still need to take it easy at home, at least she’d be home.
There was always something to look for that could be taken as optimistic. Some sense of familiarity or a common enemy/reason for things happening? It was one of those situations that sucked yet at least there was that predictability and not always wondering what would happen next and from where. Jemma missed when things made just a bit more sense. She was used to the insanity of her dreams, but she missed when things made sense and she knew what to expect.
Though she also couldn’t regret leaving the lab even if it had been safer.
“We could say that, though I never would have wanted you to go through that either.” Still, it was best to just accept that it had happened, and they had that understanding and were quote unquote even in that regard. Relaxing and catching their breath though? A definite good thing. “I believe I have to stay here for two days and then am allowed to go. And based on my conversation with Natasha, even once I am cleared by Martha to go back to work, I need to take an extra week.” Which… Jemma was not a fan of, but she also understood the logic and reasoning behind it.
Cosima had to chuckle a bit. “Of course Natasha would say that. How about this, I can sneak you some research or something to tide you over? You know, a notebook here and there with figures you can do while still sitting down and technically resting? Just don’t tell Natasha because she’d probably kill me.” She said in a conspiratorial tone of voice. After all, for all she knew, Natasha was right outside the door listening. Cosima liked Natasha, but she had a healthy fear of the famed Black Widow.
Though one thing that this entire ordeal had done for the better was make Cosima actually tell Jemma how she felt about her in no uncertain terms. She’d said it once before, but it had seemingly gone unnoticed by Jemma. Which may or may not have been a good thing. But considering who knew what the dreams held next, or even what normal life here held, Cosima wasn’t going to wait any longer.
“Though one thing that this experience has done is make me realize some things.” She was more serious now. Perhaps even a little nervous, though she didn’t really have a reason to be. Cosima shifted her glasses a bit. “I love you, Jemma. I was actually really afraid for a little bit that I wouldn’t have had a chance to tell you that.”
“That would be brilliant. I’ve gotten the okay to do general paperwork and computer input since I run the department but actual research…” Well, there was just something about it. It had been bad enough to be trapped on a submarine and away from the lab. To not be able to go in even once she was cleared to work? That would have been absolutely dreadful if she didn’t have something to catch and maintain her attention.
Noticing the shift in Cosima’s demeanor, Jemma sat up a bit more straight in the bed, bracing herself for the worst. There was no actual reason for her to expect the worst except that she was so used to it from the dreams that she’d rather just be prepared. But it seemed as though she had prepared for nothing as it was instead Cosima saying she loved her. Which.. Okay so Jemma could be slightly obtuse in noticing things of that nature, and she was very bad at verbally expressing her feelings and so it was always in her actions instead.
Still, she smiled at the comment and reached over to take her girlfriend’s hand.
“That’s a relief seeing as I love you as well.”
“Then I will definitely do that for you.” Cosima definitely didn’t want Jemma to be bored, and she didn’t want her to go stir crazy waiting to get back to work. So perhaps by bringing her some in small increments, she could make it easier on Jemma. There was always work to be done and research to do, but not all of it needed to be done in a lab. Some of it was reading notes, testing equations, things of that nature. That sort of thing could help keep Jemma occupied until she was allowed to come back to work fully.
Cosima had picked up on the fact that Jemma tended to express her feelings in actions, and she had taken that to heart. And it was probably why she’d never seriously said the words before where Jemma would have understood the meaning. Sometimes it was easier to express things, but there were times it needed to be vocalized. And Cosima had taken now to vocalize it after having been afraid she’d never be able to say it.
A warm and wide smile crossed her face as she squeezed Jemma’s hand. “Definitely a relief. But I’m happy I could tell you that now.”
“You are a lifesaver.” Because really, Jemma being left to doing nothing and just boredom? Probably not a good thing for anyone involved. Even if she would still be home, boredom meant that Jemma would get agitated because she was unable to do anything. So things that could be done from home which didn’t require too much physical energy? She felt that would be more than acceptable. “Our own version of bad girl shenanigans.”
Not quite the same, but sneaking work around totally counted in Jemma’s book.
Seeing Cosima smile, she returned the hand squeeze and nodded.
“I’m glad you could say it as well.” Just because Jemma might be more of a show through actions and less in terms of words, she knew that Cosima was far more expressive in such ways. So that she hadn’t misread things in her own way because of that difference between the two was also a good thing.
“I’m just wanting to ensure that you don’t get too agitated. I’ll sneak as much out as I can without Natasha sniffing it out.” Not that Natasha was at the Agency every second of every day, but it wasn’t easy keeping track of her. “I’ll also bring some stuff we could work on together.” Their fields of science didn’t quite overlap, but sometimes looking at something from two different angles could give them new insight.
Cosima grinned, feeling more than a little giddy. Sometimes it could be a problem when Cosima was far more expressive with her emotions while Jemma wasn’t, but they’d found how to work with it. They seemed to be better at it now. And Cosima had long learned not to push Jemma either. Not unless there was good reason to. They both had their methods of communication, and so long as they met halfway, things tends to go well.