Veronica Mars is a marshmallow (ronmars) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-08-15 20:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, lina inverse, veronica mars |
Who: Sassy Shorties! (Lina and Veronica)
What: Drinks! And getting hit on by McCreep
When: Tonight
Where: Bar where they met
Rating/Warning: Pretty low. Cheesy pick up lines and pants shitting
Status: Complete!
It was the moment Veronica had been waiting for, for almost a year now. Lina could finally go out for beers again. And what better place than to celebrate this momentous occasion than the bar where they first met? “You think the office will be able to survive without us?” Veronica joked as the bartender brought over their beers. Hell would Orange County? Considering where they worked and everything. But luckily nothing crazy was happening today.
Veronica took a sip of her beer her eyes falling on the door, distracted by who just walked in. She had only seen that asshole once before, but he was embedded in her memory. Mr ‘everyone has a good time with me’ that wouldn’t leave Veronica the hell alone insisting on showing her. Of course, Veronica had handled herself but Lina had been perfectly happy to step in as well. Hopefully this wouldn’t be a repeat experience. Veronica wasn’t in the mood to punch any assholes today. Was a carefree happy hour really too much to ask for?
Ahh, this place. Fond memories, for the most part - it was the little hole in the wall well of shit liquor that she used to frequent for some private time, back when she was deciphering sigils and scrawling down magic linguistics to compose a spell that’d help keep a certain someone’s humanity. It’d been awhile, and the bartender hadn’t change. Actually, he recognized the redhead sauntering in with the equally short blonde, and gave her a wary look after pouring her a pint of Blue Moon, an orange wheel floating in it.
“Don’t break anything,” he mumbled.
Lina looked mildly offended and pulled her glass in closer, nose scrunched. “Well, that’s a rude ‘welcome back,’” she huffed. “Can’t expect decent customer service in a place infested with termites, but still.” Shit way to promote patronage, buddy, but alright, she did recall causing a bit of a ruckus during her infamous bar fights a while back - but hey, let bygones be bygones, right? Water under the bridge, the past is in the past?
Judging from the look he had, maybe not. What a buzzkill.
A sip was taken of her beer before she noticed Veronica staring off somewhere. “What’cha looking at?”
Veronica rolled her eyes at the bartender. She had only been to this particular bar a few times before herself, the last time being when she punched the asshole. But she could definitely see Lina causing a ruckus. Back when they first met she had been a ball of fire, not that she wasn’t anymore but Lina had definitely toned it down a bit. Perhaps dying did that to you. Or having a kid. Maybe both.
But as it was Veronica was distracted. Almost didn’t hear Lina’s question. “Asshole, twelve o’clock,” she said with a sly nod towards the guy. He didn’t see her nod but he did notice her just moments later. Well this was just fucking great.
Douchebag walked over to the duo. Eyes glued to Veronica. “Do you have a map?”
Veronica looked at the guy, brows raised. “I’m sorry what?”
“Because I’m lost in your eyes.”
Oh my god. If Veronica had just taken a sip of beer she would have definitely spit it out at that moment. That was one of the worst lines she had ever heard. And clearly asshat didn’t remember her. Well he was pretty drunk last time and it had been over a year. But still. This was just ridiculous. “Try looking the other way,” Veronica suggested rolling her eyes now.
If Lina had a nickel for every dumb fuck she’d ever run into in her lifetime - especially the sleazy type with crap pickup lines at a watering hole - she’d be filthy rich, and Amelia’s college fund would be completed. Alas. She didn’t, and it also meant that his face wasn’t so memorable that a lightbulb of recognition lit right away.
Thing was, though, out of the two of them she was definitely in mid-sip once those glorious words of romance slipped his mouth and she almost did spit out her drink. But the beer remained in (too stubborn to waste the alcohol she could drink), and she managed to swallow it down her throat with a shit-eating grin and on the verge of cackling laughter.
Men like this exist? This isn’t a prank, is it? Did he really--
“He’s not the same guy, is he?” Her face was beaming with tickled amusement. Time to trash talk the pathetic smarmy sap like he wasn’t standing there. “From forever ago? Didn’t you give him a black eye? He’s got a thing for blondes, I think.”
Veronica was on board with Lina’s plan. Maybe if they acted like he didn’t exist he would go away. “That’s the one,” Veronica said sipping her own beer. Hopefully no more cheese would come out of this guys mouth causing her to actually spit out her drink. “I think he might be asking for another one,” she added with a smirk.
“Ah, you’re the one that got away.”
Okay that was pretty fucking cheesy not as bad as his map line though. Veronica just raised a brow. At least he wasn’t harboring any anger towards her.
“You ready to let me show you a good time,” he asked stepping closer to her, breath against the back of her ear.
“Back the fuck up,” Veronica snapped. Geeze it wasn’t even his drunkeness that made him a douche. Unless he was bar hopping but Veronica didn’t smell any alcohol on him. “Before I give you another black eye.”
Oh my gawd. This wasn’t real life, wasn’t it? In what universe was saying a tacky thing like ‘you’re the one that got away’ an a-okay thing to do? Then follow it with another sterling original? Two cliches don’t make an acceptable pick-up line, dumbass.
Lina’s amusement faded a little at the persistence, but she knew this was an attempt that would fizzle out one way or another - either by him backing off, or one of them making him back off. The former would be a peaceful the resolution, and the latter would sure as hell be the opposite.
Ladies and gents, this is how things get broken.
“I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smoother statement than that,” she mumbled, and waved off the intruder with a dismissive hand - no sizzles of sorcery yet, but he was tempting her. “Shoo. Piss off elsewhere, McCreep, before I make sure your other eye matches once she’s done with you.”
“Amelia is smoother than him,” Veronica commented to Lina going back to the ignore him and he’ll go away tactic. Though it hadn’t seemed to work the first time. But still Veronica had hope.
But of course it didn’t work the second. “Come on, you know you want to see what you missed out on,” Douche commented still standing obnoxiously close to Veronica.
“I’m good thanks,” Veronica replied shifting to edge away from him. “Now leave. I’m not going to warn you again.”
Nope. Nuh-uh. Not sorry. He should have left the first time he was told to fuck off, now he was being persistent and the closeness was beyond levels of outright creep - Lina’s patience had run out eons ago anyway. If she hadn’t already gotten the suspicious, I’m-on-to-you looks from the barkeep about keeping this place in tact there’d be a hole in the wall the shape of this particular dickweed, and the last thing she wanted to do was live up to her reputation (which she wasn’t always proud of, okay?).
There were more subtle tricks to indulge in that didn’t involve deathball explosions. Her fingers curled inward and cracked, then extended again, and after an incoherent utterance under her breath she formed a slow fist in his direction.
It wasn’t fiery embers or the crackling sparks of black magic, nah. It was a simple spell that worked from the inside, you see - the kind of thing that made a target feel like their stomach was about to explode or, hell, maybe make them dart to the nearest bathroom with a sudden case of the runs. Whatever route biology took after the trigger of it.
“Better go before you shit your pants,” Lina said in a sing-song, twisting her fist in the air to amp up the pain.
Douchebag grabbed his stomach. “You bi-” he began but couldn’t get the rest of the words out before making a run for the bathroom. He didn’t quite make it though Veronica could see the shit stain on his pants and burst into laughter.
“Where has that spell been all my life?” she asked turning her attention back to Lina. “Have I mentioned how much I’ve missed drinking with you?”
Oh, wow. Douchebag did soil his pants. Here she thought he’d have a minute to at least make it to the bathroom to hide the embarrassment but, well, apparently not? At least it got him to effectively leave - if he liked his girls violent, then he doubted he liked to be around women with the capacity of messing up his bowels with a flick of a finger.
“It came with the last set of dreams,” Lina snickered, leaning back against the stool’s back to quirk an eyebrow at the last image of McCreep scampering about. “I’m doing my best to be a little more conscious around public property, y’know? It takes a lot of exhausting paperwork to cover up my stunts. It’s the first time I tried this one out, so - I say success?”
It was time for a high-five. C’mon, give it, RonRon.
Veronica raised her hand, giving Lina a much deserved high-five. “Okay. Officially jealous of your dream gifts once again. You get ‘shit your pants’ spells and I get a taser.” But then Veronica’s dreams also weren’t end of the world worthy. Just end of Neptune. So she supposed it was a fair trade.
She took grabbed her beer holding it up. “To less paperwork,” she said in a mock toast. Though really she could only imagine how much paperwork Lina’s antics brought. Her friend wasn’t exactly subtle.
“Ask and I shall teach,” Lina smirked, raising her glass to clank against Veronica’s. Well, at least they’d gotten some amusement for their little night out - maybe the stunt would humble the obnoxious moron with the cheeseball pickup lines. “But to less paperwork, Detective Mars, and to more eventful nights out.”