InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You stole the sunfrom my heart"

terribly sorry, officer (baelfiery) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2016-08-06 13:42:00

Entry tags:

!complete, neal cassidy (baelfire), regina mills (evil queen)

Who: Neal & Regina, with the babyyyyyy
What: Visiting Nikolas and sharing some important news and plans with each other
When: Beginning-ish of August
Where: Swan-Cassidy abode
Rating/Warnings: Nothing but poopy diapers!
Status: Complete

For the first couple of months of baby Nikolas’ life outside the womb, Neal knew he’d be pretty busy - but basically confined in the house, when he wasn’t down at the ranch. The concept of going out and having fun had disintegrated in a puff of smoke, at least for the time being, and that was because infants required a lot of looking after (who would have thought, right?) and also due to the fact that the pediatrician recommended waiting a little longer before taking the precious butterball out into the public where germs circulated readily. Niko would have the hardiness of Thor, Neal was convinced, but better safe than sorry - he was still a newborn, and his father was still extra paranoid.

But it was his first attempt with this child-rearing thing; he’d make plenty of mistakes over the course of the next eighteen years, and was trying to minimize that as much as possible.

Seemed only fair for Regina to see her very own godson, however, and Neal needed human interaction. He and Emma traded off in shifts - one would sleep while the other cared for Niko, and when it was apparent that both parents were just completely and utterly down and out for the count, Henry stepped in. Emma was right, they’d hit the jackpot in terms of the ‘older kid, younger kid’ scenario - because at age thirteen (his birthday a mere couple of weeks away, something he wanted to chat with Regina about), he made a great, energy-filled babysitter.

There were a couple of other things he wanted to talk to her about too, but he’d do that when she arrived. For now, he laid Niko in his bassinet - easily portable and easily set up in the living room - and sat on the sofa to do...something. Hell if he could remember what, though. One load of laundry had been emptied from the basket, sorted, and put away. The second was currently in the dryer. House was relatively clean. Henry was upstairs playing video games on his computer.

Zzzzzz, fuck it, then Neal was out.

Anytime she could come by and lend a helping hand, Regina was more than happy to - the perks of being one’s own boss with a bit of a flexible schedule (as long as things were done, anyway), and she knew by the memories of Storybrooke the stress a parent could endure when it came to the challenges of infant care. Sleepless nights, the ear-shattering shrieks of a newborn that was well-fed and in a fresh diaper but still felt the need to cry, the towering heap of soiled diapers, the spit ups and frequent feedings around the clock. Of course, she wasn’t a hovering presence - the parents needed time to properly bond and enjoy their bundle of smelly noise after his belated presence graced them - but she’d be around to help them keep up with the more mundane activities that ran the risk of falling through the cracks.

Prepared for all sorts of secretions her way, the proud godmother had dressed in comfortable clothes in which a baby’s feces getting smeared on them wouldn’t devastate her (or piss, because when it came to a boy anything was possible). Hanging from her arm was a totebag of several pre-made things sealed in tupperware and the holy grail of all baby gifts.

Extra diapers.

When her knock was met with silence (clearly the adolescent who was awake was too engrossed to hear someone at the door), Regina allowed herself in reluctantly. Technically she could just teleport herself to the middle of the living room but that was a bit rude, wasn’t it? “Hello?? Anyone home??”

He hadn’t been sleeping all that soundly, always on some unconscious level expecting to jolt awake to the dulcet wailings of his newborn son - but Nikolas was tired too, sleeping peacefully in a nest consisting of the soft blanket Killian had knitted; the yarn was a warm sort of cream color, with a dash of red that was apparently Irish tradition. To prevent unfriendly fairies from coming by to snatch a baby from its cradle, swapping the wee babe out with a changeling - but no danger of that, not with such diligent attention paid to crafting a baby blanket for Niko.

Neal sat up and rubbed his eyes - for a second, he hadn’t even realized he’d fallen asleep at all. Damn, guess he’d been more tired than he thought. “In here,” he called as loud as he dared. “Sorry, I knew you were coming but I just...passed out for a minute.”

Henry probably had his earbuds in. If he wasn’t playing Mass Effect (and reminding Neal like, six-hundred times that his best friend was the Garrus Vakarian), he was listening to whatever was on his iPod and reading comic books. Zoned out like a teenager could, while the world ended around them, bombs going off. Typical.

“I don’t blame you for trying to catch up on some sleep for even just a minute,” Regina quietly chuckled and carefully closed the door behind her - she’d avoid to make any sort of ruckus while the newborn slept. Neal probably worked diligently to quiet him down.

As for Henry? It was easy to assume he was hidden somewhere in the cavern of his room engrossed in whatever game he was currently addicted to. In a minute she’d see him, but right now she was more concerned with setting the offerings on the coffee table and pulling out the extra package of diapers. “I figure more couldn’t hurt, hm? I made plenty of food and packaged it up for the three of you so you don’t rely on takeout too much.”

Prepping for cooking, then actually cooking, and then cleaning up after cooking was tedious. In that department she could definitely help. It’d help their cholesterol, really.

“Diapers, no, more can never hurt,” Neal chuckled, still a little growlier than usual from having drifted off into dreamland. “Splendid showed me how to make the butt cream and homemade wipes - but hell if Em and I can handle cloth diapers.” They really couldn’t, not without being assigned to laundry duty 24/7 and there were two of them, three if you counted Henry - how Splendid did it on her own was kind of a miracle.

Home-cooked meals in Tupperware sounded good too; recently, Emma had gotten a chance to make pancakes (breakfasts she usually could handle, despite her hatred of being a chef) and that was the extent of it. He stole a container and took off the lid to give a bit of a sniff. As usual, it smelled amazing and would taste like the best thing ever when heated up. “Thanks for this though. How are things? Oh, uh - and we were kind of wondering if we could book you and Killian as babysitters in a month or so? Em and I already have a date planned.”

The date itself, not what they’d be doing - for now, it was enough to have leaving the house and wearing clean clothes to look forward to, without knowing the specifics yet.

“I thought that maybe it’d be when I finally asked her. You know, to marry me.”

Homemade wipes and butt cream. A brow shot up, because really? As if wiping a baby’s rear and applying that aforementioned lotion on it didn’t take enough time already, and don’t get her started on the idea of cloth diapers. It sounded like masochism at its finest. “A very ambitious endeavor,” she commented with an amused smile and sat next to him. Seemed like Neal was very much going all-out when it came to enjoying the early days of this ‘sprog’ (as Killian called them) - it wasn’t surprising he was looking into all sorts of things to make sure Niko’s care was at its finest.

Regina was unloaded the rest of the bag’s content when his question rose, thinking nothing of it aside from of course we’ll babysit - until Neal voiced his intention, and it gave her pause.

In a good way, of course. Her smile grew, dusky eyes dancing. “Two kids later you might as well make it legal? Congratulations, Neal. If that’s the case we can definitely keep them overnight so you two can formally celebrate.”

“Might as well,” Neal quipped, like, eh. No big deal. Only something as nerve wracking as proposing - oh, and he’d have to find a ring for all that too. Hopefully he’d have better luck than his Cuddlefish, and it wouldn’t take three times to actually pop the question - for starters, Neal didn’t think they could actually get away that frequently. “We talked about it a couple months ago, I just got her thoughts on it - because I kind of really want everything to be official, for the sake of the kids and it’s just easier overall.” Tax breaks, insurance coverage, all that good shit that came with being married - it would work for them. For some, marriage wouldn’t ever be in the cards but it just wasn’t like that for Neal. Maybe he got the warm and fuzzies at the idea of an old-fashioned family unit too.

Leaning back on the couch cushions, he had room to reach over and gently rock the bassinet Nikolas was in, still cozy and asleep - but give it a minute, he’d be up and probably needing a change. “Henry’s turning thirteen soon too - crazy, right? He says all he wants is to go to a comic con - there’s that Wizard World one in Chicago coming up, so, we’ll see. Going alone won’t happen and I’m not sure who could take him. Maybe Killian, since he travels - that’s for work, but. I don’t know.”

It was possible they’d have to make do with a party here - wasn’t living in the OC like a perpetual comic con anyway?

Oh, like it’s no big deal. Perhaps they’ve hit an important milestone before nuptials, but it was still a step worth taking - and yes, it made sense for them considering their living situation. A celebration was always nice, however. Hers might have ended in a disaster worthy of divorce court (or murder, if you take her marriage to King Leopold into consideration) but for others? It worked. Not to mention the commitment to each other was already there, just without the paperwork.

“Don’t make it sound so technical, Neal, I know you’ll probably get a case of nerves and foot in mouth when the time comes around,” Regina mused. Details as they came would be requested, too - she’d always been rooting for Neal’s ‘happy ending’ since his permanent exit of Storybrooke clusterfuck. Things were falling in place quite nicely, weren’t they? “I know he just missed that San Diego one but I’m sure we can figure something out - if anything I can see what my schedule’s like and take him?” It’d be an idea to pitch to Killian anyway, to see if he was ever headed in that direction within the next couple weeks. Kenzi would probably want to go too, it just seemed like her thing.

“If you guys wanna take him, feel free - might be a fun family adventure,” Neal said, and should Kenzi want to go too, more power to her. “There’s actually a bunch coming up, all over, and I’m sure Henry would be thrilled to get his comic-loving self to any.” It was kind of over Neal’s head - he’d never been a fan of comic books as a kid - but whatever made his son happy. Plus, he was on summer vacation for a bit longer so it seemed like a good idea to plan a fun trip.

Now zoning in on the sounds of happy gurgling, it appeared that Baby Butterball was now awake. And stirring all in his cozy blanket burrito. Neal just hoped he didn’t have a poop bomb in his diaper, but supposed they’d see in a minute here. “Hey Nik-Knack,” he spoke to the infant (healthy and steadily gaining weight thanks to nutritional breastmilk, with a fuzzy head of dark hair still) and eased him up so he could nuzzle at Neal’s shoulder where he seemed to like to drool. Or spit up, either one.

“Gonna let me warm something up so I can actually eat?” Rhetorical question. But he then passed the baby to Regina, because whatever was in those Tupperware containers was calling to him. Nooooommmmm.

If not the Chicago one, they could work around another - she had at least some idea of what it all entailed thanks to Henry, and, yes, it wasn’t a complete secret that Regina sometimes sat down with the teenage boy to flip through comics with him. A lot of questions were asked, Henry did his best to ensure his adoptive dream-mother was well educated in whatever the fuck kind of timeline the X-Men were in now, and she did her best to keep up. Most of the time.

“Give him here,” cooed the queen, her face softly lit as the wee one was placed into her arms. Her demeanor was always different around little humans - or at least this one. Regina was emotionally invested in little Nikolas, of course, with her proud mantle of godmother. “It really figures, doesn’t it, that Emma endures the hardships of carrying a child and yet they both seem to look after you.”

It brought up a thing she had to tell him too, resting on the tip of her tongue. Since they were in the middle of discussing rather important topics; marriage, Henry’s birthday...

Niko was gently rocked in her arms, and her eyes didn’t tear from his awakening face. “I have something to tell you.”

Aw, how cute. It was difficult to resist the cooing and the fawning, and the slipping into baby talk. Neal kind of hated to admit it but even he was guilty of it sometimes - Niko was just so sweet, who could help it. “I think he’s gonna look like Em eventually,” came a chuckle from the kitchen, as the dish rotated in the microwave. “I just have a feeling. At least with green eyes, but who knows - sometimes it takes awhile for a kid to go blonde.” The baby was still young, barely a month old, but no matter what they’d be documenting his growth with plenty of pictures and video.

Ding! Now that his snack was all set (he’d hoover this in two seconds, probably), he came back into the living room already chowing down, shoveling bites from the container to his mouth using a fork. “Yeah?” Neal’s brows lifted curiously - he also remembered to swallow before he talked, otherwise, rude. “What’s that?”

‘Something to tell you’ could be really good or really bad. So he would brace himself.

“Zelena’s pregnant.” Like ripping paper right off the twat in the middle of a Brazilian - but how else to properly bring up someone who’d killed a friend of yours in these godforsaken dreams? Regina’s tone was exasperated, perhaps even a bit guilty, as she went on. “I had Killian look into her a little more again from the last time, just to see if she...needed anything.” Neal had already been brought up to speed with the latest development of Storybrooke; Captain Hook’s return from the dead, the demise of Hades, the death of Robin Hood, Regina’s lapse in judgment in separating the evil from herself to get rid of it for good.

Not to mention the very speedy ‘redemption’ Zelena had gone through. Must be nice to join the ranks of the pretentious hero squad after such a short amount of time, hmm? It took Regina awhile to gain their trust completely, and even then the Emma existing there still had doubts about the queen’s commitment to change while she mourned the death of a man she loved - the second time.

But she’d always said to herself if she and the older sister - the personification of green with envy - crossed paths, she’d be treated with a clean slate. Treat someone like a villain and more than likely, they will become one.

Nikolas was adjusted in her possession, and this time placed against her chest with his head on her shoulder. He could spit up on her, she didn’t seem to care. “Killian says she’s contemplating putting her up for adoption.”

“Uh - “

Not the most eloquent of responses, but Neal was still trying to process everything. It all hit him like a ton of anvils. He’d been caught up on the whole Underworld ‘adventure’ and beyond, sure, and knew about the result of Robin’s unfortunate date rape beforehand - which was that Zelena deliberately got herself pregnant in a move that put soap opera plots to shame, had the baby thanks to the intervention of Dark One labor-inducing onion rings, and then apparently named their daughter after her deceased father who would never get to be there for his children. Seemed like a bunch of shit, but somewhere, despite what the magic phallic-looking crystal of doom actually did to a person’s soul, Neal was sure that he and Robin were lamenting about how everything sucked.

And Neal had to admit, if Zelena showed up here he would have a very hard time granting her that clean slate. Very hard. She fucking killed him though, could anyone expect any less?

“That’s one hell of a parallel,” he said, poking around in the dish with his fork. Chew with your mouth closed, Cassidy, it was polite. “But, I mean...wow. So you’re thinking of adopting the baby? You’ve talked about it?”

One hell of a parallel, indeed. Even worse when you take Robin’s likely participations in the conception - it wasn’t a cemented fact but intuition said otherwise, and it just seemed like Regina’s hilariously rotten luck when it came to it all. “We did,” she replied after a minute of silence, teeth nibbling her bottom lip. “In case it comes down to it, that is. He’s a bit terrified, but on board with it.”

Last thing she wanted to do was surprise her closest ones with a very sudden appearance of a baby girl - but it was them she’d only tell. Word didn’t need to be spread, especially if it didn’t pan out the way Regina (almost selfishly) desired. “Part of me really expects Zelena to keep her, though. It’s what she did in Storybrooke, but regardless, I won’t turn my back on my niece. We’ll be keeping an eye on her in case something happens.”

“We’ll see - sometimes things are different here, in important ways,” Neal pointed out. And it was possible that, without the crazypants desire to get knocked up just to prove a point and to spite someone, that Zelena would see reason. By doing what was best for her daughter - because Neal doubted that she was A+ mom material in any life.

Did anyone in Storybrooke remember that she sort of stole Snow White’s second-born to sacrifice for a time traveling spell? No? Anyone? Bueller?

Whatever, wasn’t his problem, he guessed. Not much he could do from beyond the grave.

“Anything you need though, just ask. Me and Em will be there for you guys too.” Regina and Killian were there for him, after all, for the Swan-Cassidy family in general. There was no question that the favor would be returned.

It certainly seemed like it was the year of babies in their little community of dreamers, didn’t it? Regina didn’t intend to add to the pile, but she was committed to her niece’s well-being in whatever form was available - whether it was raising her as her own or from afar, making sure her sister didn’t go off the rails during the tribulations of child rearing. Neal’s support seemed to soothe those jitters she tried to keep concealed; it was comforting to have, considering the circumstances surrounding this child.

“All we need for the moment is to keep it between us, until we know something definite,” she sighed, but who could be even remotely broody with the bundle of chubby rolls that was Nikolas on her? He smelled so sweet, and was currently keeping all his bodily secretions inside. Regina appreciated it. “But thank you. If we do go through with it, I’ll have Killian make sure the adoption is closed - it’ll help keep Zelena away.”

For once, Nikolas did smell sweet. Like homemade organic baby butt powder, a cloud of olfactory delight. Neal wouldn’t interrupt Regina’s cuddle session with the little fattie though; Niko had plenty of cuddles to go around. Besides, his dad was also too busy stuffing food into his face to really concentrate on much else besides digestion and the conversation at hand.

“Mum’s the word,” he zipped his lips (until opening them again to shove a forkful into that hungry maw). “Just keep me updated.” He’d let Regina or Killian tell Emma - and Killian was often by to drop off his share of food too, so, talk of the potential adoption might occur then anyway. “And should everything pan out, we can do a belated baby shower or something? I mean, you’re gonna need supplies.”

He didn’t see any reason why they shouldn’t celebrate the fact that another baby was going to be a part of their lives, adding to the family. It was a nice idea.

Regina would quite happily take any and every cuddling opportunity sent her way - his entrance to this world was a little belated and she’d been eager to meet the stubborn boy who made Swan’s insides his jungle-gym of organs. “A baby shower wouldn’t be a terrible idea,” she admitted, bobbing her head from side to side in resigned thought. “It sounds like the decision of whether or not this is happening is going to be a last minute thing. Most people have almost a year to prepare. All the supplies, not to mention the nursery.”

Maybe wouldn’t be a terrible idea to start clearing out that miscellaneous room? It was a project she had been meaning to do but the situation brought for that shove of motivation. “Her due date’s next month.” Which, come to think of it, the time frame was terrifying with how soon and drastically their lives could change - but they’d adjust. “In the meantime, though, you’ll have to keep me updated when it comes to proposing to Emma. Try not to choke too much during it, Neal.”

Daaaaamn, Neal just about choked to death over this. What a crappy way to go. But yeah, he was just surprised, was all. “Next month? Good thing you decided to check on her when you did - or else she’d either be playing mom or she’d have given the baby up for adoption already.” And then there really wouldn’t be much they could do about it at all, unless Regina wanted to pop up as the long-lost aunt or something. Neal knew how complicated custody battles could be. Luckily, it had run relatively smoothly working with Henry’s adoptive family and various lawyers.

“It’ll work out though. Your quick new addition, and me not choking when I propose to Emma,” he grinned crookedly. “We’ll keep each other in the loop.”

Niko kind of started getting fussy then too - looked like he wasn’t keeping his bodily secretions inside any longer. Neal would interpret that as his cue. “I can take him,” he offered. “Unless you want to try out the homemade butt wipes firsthand.”

Funny how things worked, didn’t it? Intuition had nagged her to look into Zelena and with good reason - the last thing Regina would have wanted to miss was exactly everything her older, estranged sister was about to endure. Perhaps they’d never meet, or if they did be as close as what they had remembered - those memories stolen from Cora, then returned like it was a bandaid that’d forgive all - but in a way, from a distance, she could be there for her.

“Awww,” she cooed, rubbing her nose against Niko’s temple, and gingerly put a hand over his little behind. “I’ll give those wipes a try, don’t worry - keep eating, relax. I’m here to give you a small break.”

Those godmotherly duties were taken quite seriously, and getting used to an abundance of soiled diapers wasn’t a terrible idea with what could come their way in the very near future.