Couple of screws loose (quite_vexing) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-04-11 00:35:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, h g wells, harley quinn |
Ignore anything about any bars gettin’ demolished I was only 15% responsible.
Who: Harley and Helena
What: Helena returns from a business trip
When: recent
Where: their house
Status: complete
Rating: PG-13 then swerves to hard R before a fade to black
Finally, Helena had finished her part of the job in the field. Unearthing human remains was never an easy job. In fact, it was a very slow, very painstaking process. One needed to be careful so as to not brush away evidence and forensics needed to document everything. Normally, anyways. This particular job had been less of a crime scene, and more of an archaeological type thing. Of course, Helena would need to do lab analysis in order to determine the remains she’d dug up were from the same period as the rest of the site, and nothing newer that needed to have a case built around it for prosecutors and police to handle.
On her way home, she’d stopped to pick up some things. She got some treats for the dogs and treats for the hyenas. And, of course, things for Harley. There was some candy, such as one of those rainbow colored suckers that was in the shape of a unicorn horn, and some other assortment of candy. But first and foremost, and what would be most noticeable, was the bouquet of roses.
“Honey, I’m home!” She called out as she came in the door, the roses in one hand, bag of dog and hyena treats hooked over the same arm, other hand maneuvering the bag she’d taken with her to the dig site.
Four sets of four paws came rumbling through the house as two domesticated hyenas and their sausage dog compatriots shot towards Helena, like four bats flying right out of hell. Four happy bats with every intention of bowling her over.
Harley skidded after them, leapt over them and flew through the air towards her wife, arms outstretched. “DOLLFACE!”
The instant she heard the scrambling, Helena knew she hadn’t thought this through. She should’ve left everything in the car and come in first. Oh well, she could improvise! So she tossed her bag aside, managed to get the flowers on the table beside her along with the bag of dog treats before she managed to catch Harley.
However, Harley’s momentum, paired with the momentum of the hyenas and the dogs, Helena did the only thing she could do; fall to the floor and was instantly on the bottom of a dog pile. She let out a peal of laughter once she could breathe, her arms around Harley, then her hands moving to greet the furry friends.
Harley kissed Helena soundly, the animals excitedly licking them both and whimpering and making all those happy dog/hyena sounds. Harley grinned into the kiss, then lifted her head. “We missed ya! Ya musta been gone for YEARS!”
Helena returned the sound kiss, also grinning into the kiss. She also giggled at the licks from the dogs and hyenas. Looking up at Harley once she broke the kiss, Helena grinned. “It felt like years.” And then she started laughing again as one of the hyenas started sniffing her, and tickling her in the process, clearly picking up a certain scent of certain treats.
“Uh oh, you got somethin’ for our babies don’tcha!” Harley bounded to her feet and helped Helena up. Then she spotted the flowers and gasped. “...are those for me? Didja get me flowers? You got me flowers.”
She looked like she was actually going to cry.
“I do have treats for the babies, yes,” Helena responded with a smile, getting to her feet. She took a moment to straighten her clothes a bit, then looking at Harley, a warm smile crossed her face as she retrieved the flowers from the table. “I did indeed get you flowers, love.” And she held them out to Harley.
She took them, inhaling the scent deeply and trying not to hug them too hard. They smelled so good, and the looked so good and she indeed was starting to cry. She looked at Helena, then glomped her. “I love you.”
Seeing how Harley reacted to the flowers, Helena smiled widely and warmly. She wrapped her arms tightly around her wife. “I love you, too.” She pressed a kiss to Harley’s cheek before she stole another kiss from her.
“And the audience goes ‘awwwww,’” she declared. “How was the trip, doll? Have fun? Make any new and interesting discoveries? Get into necrophilia without tellin’ me?” One of those questions was not like the other. Or was it?
“Nope, I didn’t get into necrophilia. Overall it was a nice trip, good to have gotten back into the field again.” Even if going into the field never meant anything good considering she dug up dead people. “While there, I met the daughter of one of the other men on the excavation. She was very nice, and more than excited to spend some time with her father.”
Helena looked at the four furry children who were all impatiently looking at her. “Alright, I suppose I cannot tease you for much longer, can I?” She said to them, chuckling a bit as she grabbed the bag with the treats in it. She then looked back at Harley. “I also brought some treats for you as well, love. Though yours are still in my car.”
“Damn, I wanted a new kink.” Harley stretched, pulling out of Helena’s grasp and rushing to get the lowers into a vase before they died quicker or something. Pam would have a heart attack. Actually Pam would be able to save them. Harley frowned and kissed one. “It’s okay, I love ya anyway.”
Harley bounded back into the hallway as the animals tried to swam her wife. “Oh? I got presents too?”
“Perhaps next time,” Helena said with a smirk. As Harley put the flowers in water, she started to get the treats for the furry babies out of the bag. And of course was getting swarmed by the over excited animals. “Now sit. You won’t get any until you can sit still.” She’d gotten some meat for the hyenas, which she gave to them once they were sitting. The dogs got bones and everyone was happy and got a pet from her.
“Yes, you did. I’ll be right back.” And she quickly ran back to her car to retrieve the other bag, then came back in. “These are for you.” She handed the bag over, a glint in her eyes. Harley would find some candy, and then she’d find some edible body oil and some leather restraints meant to go around wrists and ankles. Clearly someone had made a stop at the adult store.
Harley sat too. On the couch. But she sat. and waited impatiently for the bag. She yanked it from Helena’s hands and stuck her head in. It smelled divine, the oil and the leather and the candy and her moan echoed from within the bag. She pulled her head out and looked up at Helena. “You’re quickly workin’ up to wife of the month.”
Helena smirked and moved to sit down next to Harley. “I’m moving in the right direction,” she said, planting a kiss to her wife’s cheek. “What have you and the babies been up to while I was gone?”
“Uhm.” Harley rolled her eyes back, like she was having a flashback of a thousand shenanigans and some violence and some other things. “Not much really! Just the usual! Oh I repainted the bedroom.”
“Oh? What did you paint it? Or is it something I should instead get up and experience for myself instead of being told?” Helena asked, arching her eyebrows a bit. She had wondered if something would’ve been repainted. Clearly she’d just gotten the answer.
“Definitely the second one.” She grinned a little cheekily, touching Helena’s leg. Well first she’d tried to draw, it had ended up looking like a penis which just no, so she’d tried to fix it and now it looked like a level in super mario world. Which was a victory.
“Then I shall simply have to see it once I head back there.” Helena smiled, then she shifted to straddle Harley’s hips, then she sat down on her thighs, arms slipping around her neck. “I missed you, love.” Helena was wearing a long sleeved blouse, but as was her specialty, the top few buttons were undone, of course revealing a nice bit of her chest, cleavage and the freckles that were there.
“...ooh hi.” Harley blinked up at her, before her eyes blazed a trail down to Helena’s chest. She swallowed, suddenly thrown off guard. Now, Harley tended to be always on, but that didn’t mean that Helena was incapable of throwing a very sexy wrench into the works of her mind.
Helena smirked, twirling some of Harley’s hair around her finger. “Hello, love. It’s good to be home.” Her mind was working, moving down a few different trains of thought at once. It was difficult to decide which one she wanted to follow right now. Though she did enjoy throwing a wrench into the workings of Harley’s mind. Though that was another reason they meshed well together. Helena was also almost always on.
Harley looked at Helena like she was the sun - squinting and with her face scrunched up. Then she shifted to an adoring expression. “Next time I should come with. So I can distract ya!”
“I would like that very much.” It would be more than helpful to have Harley around. It would more easily get her mind off of the gorey details of her job that could haunt her. “Perhaps you may even be so lucky as to go somewhere exotic with me, such as Egypt.” Not that she was going to Egypt to unearth anything, but she could be sent somewhere abroad by request.
It was something that interested Harley anyway. For all her ditziness and craziness, she was an intelligent woman. And she knew Helena appreciated that about her and just thinking about that made her warm and fuzzy inside. “You just wanna take me some place that’s hotter than me, doll.”
Many people may have overlooked the fact that Harley was intelligent considering how she tended to portray herself. However, Helena could easily see the intelligence, and she liked stroking that part of Harley, as it were. “My hot wife in a hot place full of mystery and wonder? Of course I want to take you to a place like that.” Helena said with a grin. “Besides, I think you’d be fascinated by my work.” And unlike with Harley’s job, Helena could take Harley to hers after getting the proper clearance and such of course.
She was who she was and that’s who she was. Harley leaned in and nuzzled her face into Helena’s bosom. She squeezed Helena tightly, inhaling her scent and having a very lucid and somewhat emotional moment. Harley loved how Helena got her. Sometimes she had to stop and innerly flail about it. “Yeah! I would be!”
Helena accepted Harley for who she was. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand Harley. She smiled, wrapping her arms around her wife tightly as Harley nuzzled her face into her bosom. “Then when I am next in the field, I could make arrangements for you to join me?” If it was a police investigation, she’d get the necessary clearance. Besides, she could use Harley being a psychologist to help get that. And if it was on some excavation of an ancient site, then she’d simply clear it with whomever hired her to come out and help unearth the remains.
“Just need enough time for a leave of absence,” Harley beamed. She was already looking forward to it. Then she realized Helena couldn’t see her smile since she was still planted in her boobs. She looked up at her. “Buuuut I don’t work tomorrow.”
“So we shall see when next I am called to the field.” When Harley looked up at her, Helena arched her brows a bit. “No? Well then, I believe we should take full advantage of that. Spend a nice long night in, sleep in in the morning, then what would you say to going on a date tomorrow? Perhaps dinner somewhere, and then doing something else?”
“I want Mexican.” And she didn’t mean the really good hole in the wall nearby, but one of the upscale restaurants. One thing about living in the southwest she’d learned, was that Mexican food could be gourmet too! “I’m cravin’ a whole lotta heat.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“That you shall have all the heat you can handle,” Helena responded with a playful smirk. “Also I have a question for you. I have been pondering getting another piercing. While I may add to my ears regardless, do you think a navel piercing will suit me?” Helena might be bold enough to pierce her tongue, but considering her profession, she should keep visible piercings like that to her ears.
“I love you.” Helena was perfect. Just perfect. Perfect in her imperfect way and Harley sat up as the question sank in. “Never pegged ya for exotic jewelry. Navel or nipple for sure, though!”
“And I love you.” Helena smiled. “I admit if I had a different job, I would probably pierce my tongue.” And, just for emphasis, Helena did flick her tongue at Harley. Helena had slept with a woman who’d had a tongue piercing once. That had made things…interesting. Clearly Harley was rubbing off on her as she was also considering a tattoo, but that she was going to keep a secret for the time being.
"Oh." Harley bit her lip. That was a pleasant thought. But then, despite her hair, she hadn't gone as far as visible piercings either, but she had kind of projected her own thoughts on where to do a piercing. Though Harley was willing to pierce literally anywhere.
"We could get mirrored nipple piercings," Harley suggested. "Naval too! Other places. Really, I'm not picky."
Helena brushed her fingers along the sides of Harley’s neck as she slid her arms around her neck, threading her fingers together behind Harley’s neck. Her gaze dropped down to Harley’s chest, head tilting a bit in thought. “Nipple piercings, huh? Those I need to think about. Though what other places would you have in mind?”
A laugh bubbled up out of Harley and she leaned her head back against Helena’s hands and gave her a much better view. “Mmmmm I dunno why dontcha guess?”
A slow, naughty smile crossed her face as her gaze again slid down Harley’s body, her thumbs massaging the area around the base of Harley’s skull where her spine connected to it. “Let me see, perhaps a place between your legs?”
“Ooh…” Harley made a low, guttural sound deep in her throat as Helena’s fingers dug into her skull. “Yeah that was one place I was thinking. It’d be real freaky!” She tried to sound detached but it all came out breathless.
She kept massaging that area, watching Harley’s reaction to it. “It would be kind of hot. Though you have other places in mind as well? Which ones are those?” There were only so many naughty places, really.
“I don’t know, can ya pierce a butt hole?” And just like that Harley could ruin the mood, because the mental image made her start giggling uncontrollably.
And that just made Helena laugh. Though it wasn’t just a laugh, it was one those kinds of laughs where she threw her head back and could only laugh because the image in her head was amusing to her. And, as a consequence of her laughing, she stopped massaging the back of Harley’s neck.
That was okay. Harley grinned so hard it hurt, then swiftly spun them around and straddled Helena. “You’ve fallen for my dasterdly plan an’ now I gotcha!”
Really, life was perfect. She had her babies, her wife, and she was making friends and causing chaos.
Helena let out a bit of a squeak when Harley spun them around and straddled her. Helena slid her hands to Harley’s hips and laughed. “Oh no, whatever shall I do now?” Her tone was in that playfully sarcastic manner.
The only thing that would make things even more perfect than they currently were was if Christina was here. But soon enough they would be reunited with her.
Harley leaned in, close, super close, dangerously close and then moved down and….planted a big raspberry on Helena’s chest. She closed her eyes and kissed over Helena’s heart and sighed. “I made a friend!”
And Helena couldn’t help but to laugh at the planting of a raspberry on her chest. But she then smiled at the kisses over her heart. “You did? That’s good to hear! I hope you had fun making a new friend.”
“Yeah. Ignore anything about any bars gettin’ demolished I was only 15% responsible. Cross my heart.” And she crossed her heart, like that suddenly made it all better.
Helena eyed Harley a bit suspiciously. “Only 15% responsible? And your new friend had just as much responsibility?” She wasn’t going to lecture Harley about not doing that stuff. She’d draw the line at murder and anything that could potentially lead to them being attacked in their own home for revenge.
“Yes, the other 70% belonged to everyone we riled up.” They didn’t HAVE to fight back. Or fight at all. Or be encouraged to fight. Really, it was easy to get a man to hit another man and then have all hell break loose. “Besides, no one died! Probably.”
“You didn’t get hurt, did you?” Because that was the important part. Helena well knew how bar fights could escalate quickly. And while Harley didn’t seem to be hurt, that didn’t mean she’d come out of it all unscathed either.
“Just a scrape or two an’ some bruising, nothing a bandaid couldn’t fix.” Harley rolled up her pants leg (what, she wore pants. Sometimes), to show a scooby doo bandage. “See! No biggie!”
Helena looked down at the bandaid and she gently gave it a little pat. “Well, I’m glad that you weren’t hurt too badly. I would have had to hunt down the person or persons who hurt you if you’d been hurt worse.” She was intensely defensive of the people she loved, even having a very short fuse when it came to seeking retribution for a loved one who was hurt.
Harley beleived it. But she didn’t need Helena murdering people for no apparent reason. If they deserved it then fine, but at the moment? Wasn’t worth it. “Reason numbah fifteen why I love ya. We should do that marriage thing.”
Nor did Helena necessarily want to murder anyone right now. So for the moment, people were safe. But if there came a day if someone hurt Harley, there would be hell to pay. “Yes, we should. I do enjoy being married to you, and everyone should know it.” She said with a smile.
Murder is a family affair, but probably not one that should be exercised often. “We should try out some of the goodies you brought….”
“Which ones are you in the mood for?” Helena asked. She would guess the answer to be both or all. But she’d like to hear what Harley wanted. While conveniently moving her hands to Harley’s ass and pulling her hips closer to her.
“Surprise me.” There was a wicked note to her voice and a gleam in her eyes as she decided she wanted Helena to do whatever she wanted. Anything. Harley licked her lips and pretended to look innocent.
A bit of a wicked smirk crossed her face. “I do like the sound of that. You are just very lickable,” she said. Then she emphasized that by leaning in and dragging her tongue along Harley’s neck. And the wheels in her head were definitely turning. “Perhaps I should put your flexibility to the test, hm?”
“Unnnngnhuh?” Harley arched her head back, pressing her body up into Helena’s in a way that was needier than necessary because her wife found a button she didn’t even know needed to be pressed.
Helena had a skill at finding those buttons and pushing them. Repeatedly. So she made note of this button so she could push it more in the future. And maybe find new ways in which to push it. That was a joy of hers. So of course she just had to smirk and chuckle softly before she started to lick and suck on her wife’s lovely neck. One arm pulled Harley tight against her while the other went for the bag of goodies.
“Ohjeez.” Harley squirmed, lifting her hand to tangle it in her wife’s hair while tilting her head back to give Helena even more access. She’d had plans of some sort but they were now forgotten.
It gave Helena no small amount of joy, as well as being highly turned on, at the way her wife was reacting. And she loved it, and she wanted to drive Harley out of her mind with pleasure. Bag of goodies in hand, Helena was attempting to decide where exactly she wanted to put her wife’s flexibility to the test. “How do you feel about being bent over the piano bench?” She asked between ravishing Harley’s neck.
“I’m pretty good with the piano,” she gasped. Whether she meant being bent over it or Helena having her way with her while she tried to play it was up for debate. There was a certain level of arousal at setting Helena off like this, and she relished it. She hadn’t looked too closely in the bag when Helena had first shown it, preferring to be surprised.
That certainly answered that, really. Helena fully intended to bend Harley over it and having her way with her. With that bag of goodies in hand, Helena swept Harley up in her arms and stood, then proceeded to carry her wife over to the piano. But before she could bend her over anything, Helena first needed to get rid of the cumbersome clothing they both were wearing. And once Harley and the bag were set down, that’s precisely what she set about doing.
“So strong,” Harley sighed, squeezing a Bicep and giggling madly. She started to nibble at her wife’s neck and shoulder, before she was set down and promptly disrobed. “Someone’s impatient!”
Helena was stronger than she looked. She chuckled a bit as Harley squeezed her bicep and nibble at her neck and shoulder. And then she had to chuckle again at the impatient comment. She looked Harley in the eye, a glint in her own dark eyes. “What can I say? I missed my hot wife.” She leaned in and kissed Harley deeply and intently.
Harley leaned back against her, arching her back and twisting around to kiss her. She wriggled her rear suggestively, and a little needily and the force of her own need to have Helena dominate her like this almost scared her.
Unable to help herself, Helena’s hands slid along Harley’s body as she kissed her. She groaned a bit as Harley wriggled her butt, and she read it clearly. She broke the kiss, and trailed her mouth down Harley’s neck, over her shoulder and down her back. As she moved lower, one hand moved to pull the leather restraints out of the bag. Harley’s wrists were going to be bound, and then she was going to use one of the edible body oils, massage it onto Harley and then lick it all off.
It was only as she was putting one of the restraints around Harley’s left wrist when something caught her eye. Now, she’d since memorized each and every tattoo, scar and curve on her wife’s body, so she knew when something had been added. Which was when she shifted position to get a better look at what she thought was a new tattoo on her wife’s left hip. And she was right, and she couldn’t help but to smile at seeing the 1866 there.
“Someone seems to have gotten a new tattoo while I was gone,” she commented, fingers brushing over the tattoo.
The more Helena touched Harley, the more she felt happy and alive. Each little brush and touch was it’s own lightning storm, and she was already rearing to go by the time she was bound. And being bound only made her hotter. She groaned, shimmying her body in anticipation. “Got it...couplea days ago. Thought of you.”
Because it was of course an impulse buy.
“I love it,” she said and placed a kiss to Harley’s hip. She pulled back only long enough to grab one of the bottles of oil, squirting some into her hand. “And now for some pleasure.” She chuckled softly as she began to massage the oil into Harley’s back methodically and lovingly. Helena had every intention to ravish Harley.
Oh. Oh she was going to go slow. Harley was going to melt into a puddle of desire and need by the time her wife got much farther. But she could live with that. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I love yooooooou.”
Yeah. It was good to have Helena back.