Leia Organa rescues herself (rebelliousforce) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-02-22 10:10:00 |
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Leia had always known deep down that it would only be a matter of time before she was unable to bluff her way out of trouble. That one day, her diplomatic immunity would be questioned. Just because she’d been able to trick the Empire for years, she wasn’t nearly naive enough to believe her luck would always hold out. They were in the middle of a war, of trying to undermine the Empire and restore peace and democracy. That came with making enemies.
She knew all of this, but it didn’t make it any easier when the day finally came. She’d been on a mission to find General Kenobi, a man her father had worked with during the Clone Wars when the Tantive IV had been boarded. At least she had managed to get the stolen plans off the ship before being taken. Darth Vader. She should have known. It was also a sign that the Empire was not fooling around and that she had caught their attention. If it was meant to scare her though, well, they had another thing coming. She would endure whatever it was they threw at her.
And oh did they throw it all at her. An interrogation droid, but really it was torture. Terrible and painful, the drugs coursing through her bloodstream, the sensation of being on fire or drowning. The sleep deprivation. The terror of the needles. Still, she refused to break and she certainly wouldn’t give them the information they wanted. The Empire was scared, they wouldn’t be resorting to such tactics if they thought the Rebel Alliance was nothing more than an annoyance. No. They were afraid and were growing more bold in how they fought back. But then it changed. Alderaan was to be made an example of the power of the Empire and it’s godforsaken Death Star if she didn’t give up intel on the Rebel Alliance.
She was stuck. Did she betray everything she stood for? Or did she forsake her home, her family? So she made a decision in desperation. An old base, no longer in use. Just to save them but it didn’t matter. Tarkin thought he had won, broken her and still he ordered the destruction of Alderaan. She had never like the man but now…. She felt sick and was held back by the everlooming presence of Darth Vader. All she could think of were her parents as she watched the beam head towards her home. Were they together? Were they afraid when a strange light showed up?
And just like that, she felt a wave of destruction wash over her. Fear. Pain and then the deafening silence of death. Alderaan was gone. Just bits of space rock floating, the lives of innocent people who were peaceful lost and slaughtered by the Empire. Leia didn’t even seem to register that she had been slated for execution or that she was being led away. She felt numb.
And that was when she woke up, gagging on bile as her soul seemed to cry out. She’d managed to keep her emotions and energy locked away instinctively ever since Anakin’s issues had started. She didn’t think about it, just shielded herself. But right now, that was lost as she felt the wave of death, the great disturbance.
Stumbling out of bed, the twenty-four year old made her way to the bathroom and flipped on the light, wincing at the harsh glare. She was pale, covered in sweat and shaking. Everything she had felt in the dreams, the guilt that if she had maybe said something sooner, had she done something different, Alderaan would still be there. Her parents would still be alive…. A deep feeling of guilt settled in the pit of her stomach, lodging there, one which would never leave.
Splashing water on her face, Leia was going to go to the kitchen and put a kettle on when she passed by her father’s study where he had fallen asleep. A wave of relief washed over her as she remembered that Bail and Breha were alive here and she stepped inside and placed a blanket over her father’s shoulders, not wanting to wake him. It didn’t seem to make the guilt that had settled over her go away. Just a reminder. Duty to others before duty to yourself. The rule she would live by.
After a few moments, Leia left the study and fixed herself tea before going back upstairs and to a balcony. Might as well watch the world wake up since it wasn’t like she was going back to sleep. And maybe it would help to calm her down, early morning peace. Only that wasn’t to happen because suddenly she found herself swarmed by…. birds? What the…. and that was when it started. The screaming. Shouts of pain and fear in the language of Alderaan.
The cries of pain from her parents. From Anakin.
Long forgotten (no never forgotten, just not so present) screams of terror and pain from parents a lifetime ago, and a brother she never truly could let go of even as she had forgotten his face.
“No!” Tea dropping to the ground, Leia covered her ears as she tried to avoid the birds and get back inside, but they were relentless and she could hear Bail’s voice crying out her name. She just couldn’t place the difference in tone. That he was trying to get her attention and get her inside, and in fact she struggled as she felt someone grab her arm before she found herself inside and in a hug.
“It’s okay, Lelila, I’ve got you.”
Gasping for breath, Leia could still hear them trying to break through the window, the screams of pain and terror louder than the thumping of her heart. She felt weak and she just let Bail lead her back to her room and get rubbing alcohol for the cuts she’d gotten from avoiding birds and their attacks, completely numb.
The sounds of those screams would never leave her. That was all there was to it.