Couple of screws loose (quite_vexing) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-07-18 20:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, h g wells, harley quinn |
You're Secretariat, I'm Seabiscuit.
Who: Harley and Helena (asami briefly)
What: Having some fun of the illegal kind.
When: During the "Storm"
Where: Around
Warnings: child abuse mentions, creative uses of tongs and baseball bats, Harley actually being the voice of reason...
The weather was getting more than a little ominous. It was a perfect backdrop, really, to do something illegal. The rational part of Helena knew she and Harley shouldn’t be doing this, but her dreams were serving to overpower that rational part of her. Especially considering the way her dream self had killed MacPherson without any hesitation only fed more into the darker part of herself. The part that had been growing ever since she’d dreamt of Christina’s death.
So she was more than primed for a little illegal activity paired with some time with Harley. She was smirking as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. There was more than a little sense of exhilaration with what she and Harley would be doing. So she went to meet Harley. And upon arriving, she got out of her car and was leaning against the car, waiting for her girlfriend.
The rational part of Harley had gone out the window weeks ago. The stint watching Helena had helped shave away the parts of her that were still a little less than crazy. That’s why she grabbed horse masks, a couple fake guns, and ran out to meet Helena. She planted a wet kiss on her cheek. “We should probably ditch your ride and borrow another one, but really, who’s gonna believe a couplea horses knocked over a candy store?”
She could only hope that her dreams would level out. Or that her dream self would get killed, then Helena could focus on putting herself back together, and then hopefully help Harley with her struggles. Helena gave Harley a kiss to her cheek in return, then she looked at her car. “Yes, that may be a good idea. Perhaps we may be able to keep our eyes open for something fun?” She said with a smirk. “I don’t think anyone will. Or at the very least they’ll simply roll their eyes or something.”
“Ooh. What kinda fun?” Harley tossed the horseheads into the backseat. “Lets cruise until we find some hot little number to steal.” She turned towards Helena, gaze softening just a little. “You’re lookin’ good, H.”
“A convertible, perhaps? Or a Ferrari?” Helena would know when she saw it, anyway. “That sounds like an excellent plan.” This was Orange County. There was bound to be something fun they could easily find. Looking back at Harley, she smiled a bit warmer. “Thank you. Though you’re looking just as good yourself, darling.”
“Ferrari, then we’ll dump it in a chopshop and get some extra cash. Most people with a Ferrari are douches anyway.” Harley popped some gum into her mouth. “Once we find our mark, we’ll have to hoof it a few miles so your car don’t get noticed.”
From psychologist to psychopath. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
“I won’t say no to a little extra cash,” Helena said, a dangerous smirk crossing her face with a matching glint in her eyes. She got in her car and waited until Harley was in before starting the engine and heading off, deciding to head towards a more rich area where they were bound to find a Ferrari. “Noted. It would spoil the fun otherwise.” And Helena was more than well on her way to becoming a psychopath.
Her dream self was simply several murders and one plan of world destruction ahead of her.
It took less than twenty minutes before Harley saw the hot red car. It wasn’t a Ferrari, it was a classic, lipstick red Cobra and boy was Asami going to be pissed, parked outside a restaraunt. “That one.” Harley pointed. “I want that one!” It was almost too pretty and too classic to chopshop, but maybe they could fence it another way.
It was difficult to miss that car. Helena glanced it over, noting the location while keeping an eye on the road so she didn’t run into anyone or anything. “Then we’ll take that one,” she said as she continued down the road, taking a couple minutes to navigate to a parking spot somewhere inconspicuous. “I bet she has a sexy growl,” Helena noted about the car they were intending to steal as she got out of her car.
Harley grabbed the horse heads, then pulled H around to kiss her. “Lets go be bad.”
It took a couple of minutes to get to the Cobra, and Harley peered around casually before expertly getting into the lock, and expertly hot wiring it. She pulled the horse head on and handed the other to Helena. “Lets roll, H-lady!”
And judging by the angry looking Japanese woman coming out of the restaurant with a very painful looking electric glove on her hand, Harley decided they should really, really floor it.
Helena returned the kiss wholeheartedly. “Hell yes.” She then headed off with Harley, keeping an eye out casually while Harley broke into the car and hot wired it. She pulled the horse head on and jumped into the car, a bit of a crazed grin on her face as the adrenaline hit.
“Hit it!” She said with a laugh, casting a glance back at the angry woman coming out of the restaurant after them.
Electricity crackled all along the outside of the car as Harley hit the gas. She wooped loudly, taking a corner too sharply and causing a large bus to veer off and crash into a bank. “Oops! Wow! Didja see that glove she had? I gotta get me one of those!”
She screeched around another corner, and then several more and parked the Cobra next to a fire hydrant in front of the candy store. “Come on, I want some jaw breakers!”
Helena let out a “Whoa!” as the energy crackled along the outside of the car. “I could definitely build something like that,” she mused as Harley tore off around the corner. She looked over at Harley. “I would build you one.”
Alright maybe she was slowly beginning her own plan of world destruction. Or domination. It was hard to tell right now.
“Then jawbreakers you shall have, darling.” Helena said as she got out of the car, not even giving the fire hydrant a second look as she headed towards the door.
“You're Secretariat, I'm Seabiscuit." Kicking the door open, Harley pumped her fist and pointed a baseball bat at the owner. “THIS IS A HOLD UP!”
The man at the counter, a balding middle aged sort, looked up and squinted at them. “What?”
Harley threw a pillow case onto the counter. “Fill it up. And make sure it’s the good stuff!” She tossed another pillow-case down. “And that’s for the sugar free stuff. Don’t mix it up or I swear to Man O’War you’ll regret it!”
It was difficult for Helena to not crack up at Harley’s Man O’War comment. After all, she’d always liked horses and tended to keep up with with the horse racing world. So with Harley’s demands made, Helena approached the counter.
“Quickly now, or I’ll give you a Citation for not moving fast enough!” Helena’s weapon of choice this time was a pocket knife and she brandished the sharp blade towards him, gesturing to start filling the pillow cases with candy. “Start with the jawbreakers.”
“You don’t want money?” The man stared at them incredulously as he started to load up the pillowcases. He still couldn’t believe he was being held up by two women in horse masks. They were shapely though. He discreetly tried to take pictures of them with his phone, but it had the unforunate clicking sound.
Harley snatched the phone from his hand. “Whaddya thing you’re doing!” She flipped through his photos so she could delete the pictures of them. Somehow, if it was possible, she got even paler. And then quickly turned red. She tossed the phone at Helena and growled. “I’m gonna start with the kneecaps and finish by popping his balls.”
Looking at the phone when Harley tossed it to her, she ensured to delete the photos of the two of them if Harley hadn’t and then she saw what Harley had seen. However, Helena didn’t turn red nor did she go pale. She grew so angry that she went completely calm, the muscles in her face tightening in such a way that her features became sharper. Her cheekbones seemed more like razorblades at the moment.
“I think you may wish to put the closed sign out, darling. We don’t want anyone to see this.” Helena’s tone of voice was eerily calm, but it was as sharp as a dagger. Putting his phone in the back pocket of her jeans and shifting the knife to her left hand, Helena kept her predator’s gaze on the man as she leapt over the counter, then grabbed him by the throat, hand squeezing tightly as she began to back him away from view of the front of the store.
Helena was stronger than she looked, and when the guy tried to struggle, she drove her knee upwards, nailing him in the balls. She let go of his throat only to make a fist and punch him in the face as he collapsed to his knees.
“You think you can do that to children and get away with it?”
Harley flipped the sign, locked the door, and closed the blinds for good measure. She strolled leisurely back, and swung her bat into his thigh. “If you’re lucky we’ll let you keep breathin’ when we go an’ anonymously drop your phone off with the blues.”
She watched the man writhe after the bat struck his thigh. Helena switched her knife to her right hand again, starting to size him up.
“I imagine you will be begging us to kill you when we’re through.” The sadist in her was taking over, and she was intent to seek vengeance for those this man had hurt. After some moments of contemplation and without much warning, Helena’s arm moved and she stabbed him in the shoulder. She didn’t pull the blade back, simply held it there.
“Do you think he’ll squeal like a stuck pig if I twist the knife?” She asked Harley.
“I dunno, why dontcha find out?” Harley grinned inside her mask, then leaned down until the rubber horse nose touched the man’s face. “Maybe we should make the bruises match.”
A cruel, cold smile crossed Helena’s lips under the mask. And she started twisting the knife very slowly for maximum pain effect. As expected, there was a scream and some writhing as Helena slowly twisted the blade.
She glanced at Harley. “Perhaps we should. It would be highly rude of us to not make certain he matched.”
“Hey, I got an idea.” Harley slammed the bat down onto his wrist. “What if I play hammer to your knife? Ain’t like he don’t deserve it.”
“Oh I do like the way you think,” she complimented. She pulled the knife out while giving it a twist. There was something gratifying in causing the pain, some part of her did enjoy this. Helena then stabbed him in the other shoulder, then pulled her hand away so Harley could hammer it in.
Growling, Harley hit the knife hard enough to push part of the handle into the man’s shoulder. The scream he gave out was like music. She held her hand to her horse ear. “What was that? Ain’t sure I heard that!” She kicked him in the back, and forced his head to the ground with her foot. “Maybe you oughta try that again. And start with ‘I’m a terrible human being who doesn’t deserve to live.’
The scream was indeed music to her ears. But she thought he could do better. And Helena herself could do better. She stood up and glanced around, then spotted a pair of tongs used to grab candy out of. Retrieving them, she came back and knelt down beside him again. Helena grabbed hold of her knife and it took a few jerks before she wiggled it free of his shoulder.
“Now, shall we try that again?” She then clicked the tongs together a couple times before she pressed them together and jammed it into the wound she’d just pulled the knife out of it. “Now give that one a good hit.”
“Shoulda brought my mallet,” Harley pouted. “Think we should give him something? Take the edge off. Like salt.” She tapped the bat against the wound, then pulled it back and swung again. Blood splattered the counter, and she flicked some off of the bat. “Here you are being all refined like and I was just gonna hit him until he stopped twitching.”
There was the distinct sound of a bubble popping, inside the mask.
“I won’t hold it against you.” Helena stood back up, watching as Harley pounded the tongs in. She didn’t even flinch at the blood splatter. “This is part of why we go well together, we adapt to each other well.”
And then Helena glanced around the shop again, but she came back to her knife. “I don’t think he is properly understanding what he has done wrong. Perhaps we should make it so he can no longer enjoy things.” She crouched again, lightly trailing the point of her knife up the man’s leg and stopping at his crotch, obviously insinuating castrating him.
“Look, you made him go an’ pee himself.” Harley used her bat, putting it between Helena’s knife and the man’s crotch. “Careful now, don’t wanna do nothing that’ll make the taxpayer have to pay for it, you know. When he’s in prison and wants reconstructive surgery that he ain’t gonna deserve.” Helena reminded her of Pam right now. She didn’t doubt that Pamela would castrate a man under the right circumstances. “I wanna giftwrap him for the batbrats, just make sure he don’t bleed out.”
When Harley intervened, Helena didn’t move. She was contemplating what to do here. Part of her wanted to castrate him, to teach him a lesson. Part of her just wanted to kill him and be done with it. But part of her also wanted her to listen to Harley, knew she should stop before she went any further on this path. In the end, she went with listening to Harley and she pulled her knife away from his crotch. She then leaned over the man, the nose of her mask pressing against his face as she briefly pressed the blade of her knife against his throat.
“Fortune seems to be with you right now that I’m listening to my better half.” And in this instance, Harley was the better half. If Helena had her way, she would’ve tortured the man quite a bit more and then killed him.
Mr. J wouldn’t have listened. That was the first thing that popped into Harley’s mind. If a horse mask could look at another adoringly, Seabiscuit gave Secretariat an adoring look. “Thanks, sweet thing. See, girls like us, we ain’t totally messed up. We got some humanity left.” Harley cracked the man in the head with the bat and he rolled into the back counter.
There was a part of Helena that was trying to stop herself by any means necessary, and that was the part that heard Harley, that listened to her. Helena didn’t feel particularly human at the moment, but she knew Harley was right. Once the man was out cold, Helena stood up, and looked over at Seabiscuit. “We should get moving soon. Shall we drop the phone with the police or leave it here and call in a tip?” She took the man’s phone out of her pocket.
“Lets call in a tip. And you can like, text the police now right? We could make sure those photos end up in the right hands and shit.” Harley looked around, then picked up some sugar sticks. “Give me a sec.” She started to scrawl drawings and words with the man’s blood into the floor and walls.
She stood back and admired her handiwork. “Only wish the real Batso was around. Too bad. The batbrats get the present instead.” She grabbed the bags of candy. “Hey, lets lock up on the way out kay? Don’t want some kid walkin’ in and seeing the mess.”
“I believe there is a number to text, yes,” she responded, then used her phone to google it and get the right number for this area. She then sent the text with the appropriate information from the shop owner’s phone. As much as part of her wanted to be stopped from this whole wave of crime she was involved in, she didn’t want anything to be linked back to her or Harley that the police could find. Text sent, Helena then used part of her shirt to wipe the fingerprints off of the phone before letting it fall, bouncing off of him and landing on the floor near him.
“I believe we did their work for them, did we not?” Helena said as she came out from behind the counter and put her knife away. She’d clean it later, but for now it was time to go. “Yes, I would not have a child see this.” So with everything of theirs gathered up, Helena went to the door, checking to see if anyone was happening by before opening it. Seeing no one around, she gave the all-clear and opened the door.
Harley finished securing the man to a chair, then as a last measure, put a smiley face around his lips. She figured that would really fuck with people. She stepped outside, looking up at the sky, then around for possible witnesses. She pulled her horse mask off. “Lets take a ride down to Carlsbad. We can dump the masks and clean up there. Ditch the car in Escondido. WIth the shit going on up in the sky there everyone will be too distracted. Then .. oh oh this’ll be good. We can steal a different Mustang and leave it back here with a note for the police! It’ll be a hoot!”
Once outside, Helena pulled her mask off as well and nodded. “That sounds good to me. And creating confusion works to our favor.” Helena said, going back to the car and getting in. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes for a couple moments, waiting for Harley to get in the car. Once she was, Helena looked over at her. “Thank you.” She meant it for stopping her from doing what she’d felt like doing to the man.
“We’re bad, we ain’t evil.” Harley put her hand over Helena’s and squeezed. “No problem. Lets get outta here before the sky gets really weird.”