Who: Katniss and Haymitch What: Katniss freaks out...again Where: Haymitch’s house When: After this Rating: Low/HG Trauma Status: Complete
Katniss was pacing. She couldn’t think straight. Her thoughts all blended together in horror; the Games, Peeta, Snow, roses. She had been so stupid to post on the Net.
In a rare moment of peace, she had decided to post something on the Net. She hardly ever went on there. It wasn’t her thing if she were honest, but work had been awful and so had her Dreams and she honestly didn’t expect anyone to respond. I mean, they hadn’t before.
Then Gale replied. Which had shocked her. But Gale was her best friend in the Dreams. Gale was safe and reliable. Gale wouldn’t hurt her, surely.
And then Peeta replied. If Peeta were here then Snow might be too. While he didn’t speak to her she could pretend he wasn’t here. She could pretend it was just her, Portia and Haymitch, but two more people from their Dreams was too much. Where was Haymitch when she needed him? she asked herself, smoothing her hair back from her face and wiping her face which was wet with tears.
Haymitch came home to be faced with a Katniss who was very upset and looked like she’d seen a ghost. Throwing his coat on a nearby chair he moved over to her, took her hands and made her sit. Kneeling in front of her, he looked into her eyes. “Hey kiddo, what’s wrong?” he asked, “Calm down and breath deeply okay?”
“Peeta...Peeta, he...he replied to something…” Katniss gestured to the laptop on the desk as she tried to say through panicked breathing and tears. “I know you said he was here but...I never should have…why did I post anything?” she asked, almost desperately. “I was happy Haymitch, my job, my car, my life and I got stupid and careless. What if Snow comments? What if he’s here too?” she shook her head, looking to her friend and mentor for answers, tears pouring down her face.
“It’s okay sweetheart. Snow isn’t here” Haymitch told her, “You can still be happy, you still have those things. Don’t panic. Okay. Remember Portia, she as good right? She’s your friend. Not everything from the dreams is bad, we have each other. We’ll protect each other. Always” he promised, speaking slowly and calmly before tugging her into a hug. Because she really needed one even if they weren’t huggy people.
“What do I do?” Katniss cried against his shoulder. “What do I say to him? I thought he didn’t want anything to do with me and now...this,” she took a shuddering breath against his shoulder and pressed her hand against her eyes.
"Peeta...he's different here" Haymitch said carefully, thinking of the angry boy who'd decided it was all Haymitch's fault for not noticing a few posts on a constantly changing message board. "Just tell him the truth. I mean we waited after I met him but he didn't come to you. Maybe he finds it hard like you" Although Haymitch doubted that Peeta was anywhere near as scared of Snow coming as she was.
"He said he Dreamt his heart stopped," Katniss told him, pulling away from Haymitch and wiping her face. He was right, maybe Peeta was as scared of meeting others as she was. She looked back at the laptop and took a deep breath. "I guess that means he's Dreaming about the seco..." she trailed off, then shook her head and ran a hand over her hair again. "I just assumed he didn't want to talk to me here. I could pretend that it was only you, me and Portia. I could get on with things, but first Gale and now Peeta..." she started getting upset again.
“I know sweetheart, I know. But it’s okay. I promise you it’ll be okay. Just don’t get upset. If they want to get to know you then that’s nice but you don’t have to do anything okay?” Haymitch didn’t want her meeting up with people who were just going to upset her.
Katniss took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. “Sorry, you’re right,” she nodded, looking back at the screen again. Pressing her lips together she considered what she should do. “I should...talk to him. Gale wants to meet too,” she told him with a shaky voice. “Peeta’s not Snow. I have to remember that.”
“Don’t apologise. You have every right to be upset” Haymitch assured her, “Talk to him if you want to. You’re right he isn’t Snow and nobody will hurt you like Snow did okay? I promise you that I won’t let anybody hurt you” His drunk self had manage to protect her in a way so in the waking world the sober Haymitch should be able to do even better.
“Thank you,” Katniss looked at Haymitch and nodded again, licking her lips. "Ok. Ok, I'm going to reply. I’m just...going to be honest and...and tell him...how much this whole thing freaks me out,” she told him, sounding more confident than she felt.
“That’s a good idea” he encouraged, “He should understand and if he doesn’t then I’ll deal with him” he added nudging her to get a little smile out of her.
He succeeded, but only a brief hint of a smile. She was still worrying about replying, but like her Dream counterpart, she rarely backed down from a challenge. Rising from the chair, she moved over to sit at the desk, reading Peeta’s post again. Rubbing a hand over her face, she typed her reply. Her finger briefly hovered over the ‘Send’ key before landing on it.
She didn’t have to wait long for Peeta to reply and she felt Haymitch standing behind her. She took a deep breath and replied: Peeta, I've been running from these Dreams for a long time. They terrify me and everytime I meet someone from them here I freak out. Just ask Portia and Haymitch. I just did when you replied and Haymitch had to talk me down. Because if you're here, then what's to stop Snow from being here and that's...too much.
“All cards on the table, right?” she looked up at Haymitch with a pensive expression.
“All cards on the table” he nodded, squeezing her shoulder and dropping a kiss to her hair. “You did good kiddo, I promise” And if Peeta decided to continue making Katniss feel bad for her instinctive reaction then he'd simply take away the computer.