littlegreengirl (littlegreengirl) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-03-04 21:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, gaila, montgomery scott, varric tethras |
“Clitty was just playing. And thats a secret.”
Who: Scott, Varric and Cass (gaila)
What: Introducing Clitty, the Scottish Terrier. Also, buttdialed doggy phone calls and computer salvaging.
When: Yesterday. Or the day before! Sometime in the last week
Where: Mad Dogs and Englishmen and Mad Monty's Repairs
Rating: PG-12 (because we're totally 12 hur hur)
Status: Complete
Scotty was going directly to the bar. He is a man on a mission. Mostly because he has come across a now slightly damp sink-washed white scottish terrier looking dog in the shop, where it is bad to have pets underfoot. And he needs to dump it off and not feel guilty about what happens to it afterward, or it will gnaw away at his insides like marshmallow peeps being eaten on Easter morn by multitudes of wee kiddies, much to the delight of dental professionals, everywhere.
He burst through the entrance, looking for the short shite that owned the place. Carpet chest! Right! Oh the hell with looking, “Varric, are ye here?!”
Cass spied him. She had very little desire to deal with him right now. She went out the back. For a smoke break. Varric looked up from refilling the tap and tilted his head, "Tinker! What the hell is that thing?"
See? That made things easy! He phewed in relief, still feeling a wee stab of guilt. It was a cute dog, and seemed very good at fetching odds and ends from dark corners of the shop. But...welding torches, power tools...badly covered pit in the garage? It wasn’t hard to image how that could possibly turn out.
“Dunnae know, I was wonderin' if ye knew anyone who'd lost the wee pup. Or, failing that...could ye find someone tae take it to a place where they can see if it's chipped or not? I cannae keep it, tae much tae doo an' it'll get underfoot.” He held out a protesting dog type thing. It’s becoming startlingly apparent that he has not and probably never will be, the best of pet owners. Or a pet owner at all. It’s also becoming apparent that this is a matter of some distress, as the Scottish lilt is threatening to tip over every word. “Tae dangerous. I've tae much tae doo tae have a dog about.”
The dog was tiny. The writer peered at it, as if trying to make heads or tails of it. He was used to gigantic dogs, "I'm not sure what to do with it."
The terrier flailed and then peed on Scotty.
Undeterred, Scotty simply held the dog out more so it could finish on the floor instead of his foot. He is definitely finding a place for it now, like drop kicked out in the street. “Does Joe have a mop, in t'back? Maybe he can throw it out. An' I can see what the bastard looks like.”
“This isnae funny!”
Cass had decided to just bug out completely, but the cook had grabbed her. Grumbling about what the wanted to do to Scotty with the mop, she grabbed it and came out to mop up the mess.
“I cannae keep it an'...” Uh oh, here comes awkward. He quieted, straightfaced, holding the dog out at arm's length. Squiggly thing that it was, and it was getting squigglier with each passing second.
“I cannae keep a dog. Ye know a lot o' lassies, maybe they'd want it. Could ye dae me a favor an' ask?” There is a bit of the GOOD GODS MAN DO SOMETHING aura to Scotty right now, like he’s reaching the end of his rope, and the rope has started to fray.
Varric raised an eyebrow.
Cass started to mop, glancing at Scotty and giving him a rather teasing ring, “It’s more housetrained than you!”
“GET BENT!” Ok, so the rope snapped. He had an eyetwitch in his right eye, just before his whole face scrunched up into pissy lil Scotsman face. “Ye're lucky I dunnae piss on yer fwoot next time I'm wankered!”
“Wouldn't be the first time,” She retorted. She worked in a bar. Duh?
“OCH! That's disgusting!” Scotty looked like he might hurl, and didn’t take her seriously. Or want to even entertain taking her seriously, thank you very much! “ I'm being serious, here! This isnae funny!”
He held the dog out, squiggling so much that she had no other choice than to take it or risk it falling. Nevermind that, he put the dog INTO her arms, took the mop, and finished the mopping. Because no only was she a poor waitress, she also couldn’t mop worth a crap, either.
“Ye missed a spot!” And he managed to mop over his shoe too! Go him! Smart and efficient!
The waitress held up the dog, scratching it under his chin and grinning a bit. The terrier waggled his tail at her.
He stood there with the mop, trying to look dignified. Now all he needed was an incredibly cold shower and to do laundry. Fun!
Cold shower, Tinker?
Cass hugged the dog to her, squishing him against her. He licked at her throat and chin.
If Scotty could reply to mental messages, he’d say that cold showers were good for the blood.
Instead of mental responses or dogs or acknowledging silly waitresses who are always ignoring him or being angry, Scotty marched over toward the kitchen door. He kicked door open a little bit, and threw the mop through.
“Yer pissy mop!” he said to Joe if Joe was even back there, then turned and walked back before realizing he never got a look at Joe, AGAIN. GAH! He was beginning to doubt that Joe existed for the most part, and was part of some elaborate joke. But there’s a dog being squished into boobage, and that’s hard to ignore. NO. NO! Must IGNORE bewbs!
Joe, otherwise known as Josephine, was a tiny French woman who valued her privacy and anonymity. She had developed the ability to all but disappear at will. Like Chef Ninja.
Scotty turned, very deliberately, to Varric, saying, “If ye could dae that, I'd appreciate it.” He meant taking care of the dog, but just...pointed over in Cass’s direction, without looking. “Or let the lass deal with it, whatever works.”
“Hey Varric? Can I have some time off? Just a few days. I need to settle some things.” Cass held up the dog and added, “I can take care of him, too.”
“Take a week, Irish.”
“Brilliant. Have fun. Enjoy.” He waved and headed for the exit, so he can go get back to his own stuff because it's very engrossing and he's not thinking of cute too-young girls smushing puppies in their boobage or anything of the sort, because that's really quite ridiculous, indeed.
The dog got squished between Cass and Varric as the woman hugged her boss, “Thanks! You still owe me a date.” She waggled her finger at him.
He smirked wryly in return, “Knew you wouldn’t forget.”
Scotty made the longest and raspiest and most terrible uhrgh noise as he was leaving the pub, and trudged past Jay and Silent Bob's dopplegangers all dejectedly and smelling of dog piss. He trudged all the way to the garage (which isn't that far but he's making it look like it was a trek and a half by dragging his feet the whole way). Once inside, he closed the door and locked it, flipped the to the ‘closed’ side of the sign, and went directly upstairs. It was time for a shower! In a shower that is roughly the size of a kleenex box, but only after his while his stuff is in the wash...and if there's no washer, he's using the sink. This is why having pets = bad.
“What nut got up his butt?”
“I'm not sure, he'll be fine once he's in his element again. But take that time off. And don't sweat the uniform. Call me when you're ready to come in.”
Cass frowned, fighting back anxiety. She felt like she was being rushed away, “Am I that dispensable?”
“Of course not.” Varric’s voice was gentle as he patted her arm, “But you’re stressed, your work is suffering, you need a break. Take a vacation.”
Frazzled, she hugged him again, “Thank you.” She pulled back, eyeing the writer and squeezing the dog, “ I’ll see you in a week or so...” She headed out, pulling out her phone to make a vet and groomer appointment for the dog. He needed a name too.
Meanwhile, back at the batcave the garage: Scotty was whistling happily like a happy clam in it’s shell, puttering around in shallow watery happy land where clams live, in no danger of being added to chowdery soups. He was distracting himself very well, getting organized, and being productive! He is not at all feeling guilty or nothing! Except maybe he is, because Cass looked pretty blah and now he’s somehow responsible for it, as well as dumping a dog off on her. … Damn it..
There was so much to do and catalogue and keep track of and sort, that Scotty wished he had a proper computer with some decent internet. At least then, he could make orders. But, wait! He does have internet. Shiny Varric!gift had interwebs on it, so he went searching for the phone. For, indeed, he could get more productive and put the list on the phone maybe? Oh myyy!
“BRILLIANT!” He loved this phone. It only took him a few seconds to get the hang of how to use them. He immediately texted Varric a big TYVM! and a picture of his brighty moony butt with his other hand pointing at it like see? now I can text pictures of me showing everyone my arse just because! Then he hit SEND. He loves the phone already. It’s bright and futuristic and screeny and probably could read his emails to him. Therefore, for being awesome and win, he kissed the phone - oh yes, he did - and held it up to his face like he never wants to be parted from it.
Scotty continued to rub the phone on his cheek and sloppily smirked. “I love me new phone, I deeew.” That said, he checks to see what numbers are in the address book!
Varric’s laughter carried across the still air, all the way from the bar. Then Scotty’s phone trilled, as Varric sent hima picture of HIS butt.
Eww! Scotty blinked profusely and then made a sour face, even if he was supremely amused. “AHAHAHAHA THAT'S BLOODY DISGUSTING!” He then went to pouring himself another cup of coffee, and drinking it down as he continued to look through the address book. That Varric. He was very thorough. Sometimes it paid to have a good friend who was willing to help out and pretty much think of eveyrthing else that Scotty -wasn’t- thinking of.
Address book: *bar, junk yard, parts shops, con info, varric's number* *gally's law office, miriel's shelter, police, fire dept*
The address book contained the bar, assorted junk yards and pawn shops, con info and Varric’s number. It also had a line to Galadriel’s law office, Miriel’s shelter, and police and fire departments.
Okay, he was wondering if Cass’ number had been left out on purpose, but really, why should he have her number anyway? Other than he is deliberately trying NOT to think of her, because it can only be a disaster and lead to disasterous things if he did. No, he is not going to ask Varric for her number to apologize for being an arse and ask about the dog and if it was too much of a burden it was his problem and not her’s, and he shouldn't have dumped it off on her and why was he so worried about this and why is he now staring at the wall with his face making the faces of thinking each thing back to back followed by a GRWAWRR FACE OF SHOULD FORGET ABOUT IT!!1!
Sometimes? He hated his brain. Scoty slapped one hand down hard over his face and rubbed it around to ease the sting out.
Varric would normally have included Cass' number but she's anal retentive about giving it out.
Regardless, it was not his business. That girl is trouble! He doesn't need trouble! He doesn’t even LIKE trouble, and doesn’t go out of his way to veer toward it, like a moth to an electric bug zapper. If trouble happens, he deals with it and gets it over with, as quickly and efficiently as he can. With his fists. Done and done. As well as he’s telling himself even if he DID want trouble, then she definitely wouldn't want HIM calling her, because that'd be a bother...so just validated to himself why he should NOT bother doing so!
“NAWT INTERESTED!” Or so he says, outloud. Fuuuu....!
Well, if he was going to get rid of any trouble, he was going to have to address it straight away so it didn’t fester. He had been about to drop phone but instead texts Varric with flying fingers asking if he can send HER a text instead with HIS number, and ask her to call him and it's about the dog. YES THE DOG. There, that’s a very valid reason. It will set THAT right, at least, and if she doesn't call she's got it handled and that's that and...nothing to worry over! He can then get on with his life, quite nicely! Get back to work! Untroubled! :D Is smart!
Faiza's number was also there, with a little picture of her holding a British flag.
Oh right! He needed to let her know about the order, so it made perfect sense for Faiza to be there. But he wasn't ready for that yet. Damn, he needed to get to work. If she showed up for an inspection of what was done so far, she’d probably be displeased and then try to poke him full of tetanus shots.
O_O at that thought, goes Scotty, as he scrambled to get started. He had a lot on his mental check list of things to do. Like sandblasting some of the rust off those pieces he deemed were still usable, welding, and then figuring out what parts and equipment he would need, and power, and fuel....
Varric thought about it a moment, then did as requested, ‘Text sent.’
Scotty snuck another peek at the phone. Oh good, it’s not in his hands anymore. That makes it better and much easier to deal with, and it’s all sorted and he's okay with that. He swiftly texted back a quick ‘thnx!’ and went back to work. Truth be told, he didn’t expect her to text or call back, because she will go BLEH and be hanging out with some gaggle of blethering girls, getting their nails done or buying knickers and shoes. Ugh. Cringe.
On went the gloves and off he goes, arranging and sorting pieces, shelves, and labeling boxes of things!
Cass had found one of her recurring hook ups and gone with him to hopefully blow off some stress. Her mother would kill her if she knew, but she didn't really care, most of the time. She still had a lot of that guilt to get over.
And to be honest it had been awhile. So there she was, mid-coitus, when her phone buzzed her. So she picked it up and checked her message, as discreetly as possible.
If he’d known, he would’ve cringed even worse than he did at the thought of needlessly chattering girls traveling in packs made him cringe. Far worse. If he had known, indeed, he would have been all FEEL FREE TAE IGNORE IT THEN LASS. And then maybe wondered how good could it be if she was checking her text messages in mid-shag, WTF?! Anyway, it was a foregone conclusion he would've rolled eyes if he'd known but, instead, he was currently wearing gloves and goggles, working away. His black t-shirt is smeared with rust smudges and he's blowing some dust off some old wiring to see if any of it can still be rewired and reused! Yep! Success!
Cass shifted positions, managing to text back, 'What about dog'.
Scotty blinked and felt something vibrate on his buttcheek. He dropped the wires, pulled off a glove, got the buzzing phone off his butt and looks at it with a scowl.
How cheeky!
Ha ha, yes! He was known for butt dialing, now and again. Especially so when he forgot to lock the phone. He read it and sighed, shaking the other glove off and texting back to get it off his conscience: 'if 2 much bother I can take it - shldnt have dumped on u'
If she was still staring at her phone, that guy must be plowing away like he is getting pissed and wanting recognition, by this point.
He seemed to have noticed, finally rising above the mediocre that had had her questioning why she’d called him up.
Conxcience cleared! He tucked the phone back into his back pocket and figured that was the end of that. He whistled a song to himself like it was a brand new day! He feels better for having apologized! All’s right with the world! And then his hands got tangled up in the wiring. So he’s either going to have to start enjoying industrial bondage or get himself out of there, somehow or other.
Satisfied, she left his apartment, giving the texts her full attention. Mostly, 'naming him Clitty. Rd that in a book, flapper girl named dog Clitty.'
Nuuu, not the phone! He was still stuck in wires. He YANKED one wrist free out of a wire wad and the glove came clean off. It almost took some skin off, too. He checked the message, squinted, said ‘clitty?’ under his breath, and read to try to make sure if it was some autospelling correction mistake. If not, it was going to about to be used for a joke:
' r u sure u dont want 2 just name it Balls or is 2 obvious also?' and then pauses and sends 'did u check if its a m or f?'
‘M’
Scotty looked utterly perplexed. Right at the phone. Fingers went flying, at the most obvious question his brain could spit out.
'y wuld u name a m dog clitty if it dunt have 1?'
'he has tongue doesn't he ;)'
Scotty FACEPALMED, hard and just about threw the phone. Somehow, he refrained from his usual treatment of his communication devices, and spent at least one full minute pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and fingers while going >.< around them.
Hopefully that shocked him into silence.
Oh yes, it did. He just set. the. phone. down. Because that is just...okay, he’s just setting the phone down and stepping away for a second, yes.
Scotty pressed his lips together into look of utter complete determination and unwound the wires like it was some sort of sick puzzle game meant more as torture than pleasure. Which, at this rate, seemed a pretty apt assessment of certain situations. There he sat, goggles pushed up onto his forehead and everything, just concentrating. On wiring. He was not going to text what he was thinking of texting as a reply. Nope.
As she made her way home, she stopped outside the electronics store, staring at all the goodies she couldn't afford. Frustrated, she headed home, fed the dog and walked her Clitty.
He finished with the wiring. Finally. After rolling it up, he tuck tied it, and taped a few of the more stubborn ones so they would stay put and couldn’t get tangled again. Then, he eyed the phone. Oh yes, he did. Should he pick it up and text what he was going to, or not? His hand disobeyed, followed by his fingers.
'only the 1 spot is ignoring everywhar else it culd go 2 u kno.' Then he threw the phone down and stomped off for more coffee.
He was just being informative. He couldn’t have her going through life thinking...well, that was a good spot, though, admittedly. He looked like he was giving that some thorough contemplation while drinking more coffee. That was, until he reminded himself that he shouldn’t be thinking that, choked on a drink of coffee and waved one hand around all flappy-like. NO. BAD.
'if you lick your machines while cold your tongue will get stuck'*
He finished cleaning up any coffee mess, went back down, checked his phone, and went HAR HAR HARRRR outloud. But, he didn’t want to bother her either, and so, cut to the chase and texted quickly: 'so ur ok then y/n/m?'
He lingered just for a moment, then started to slowly organize some tools.
'just took Clitty 4 walk'
'that = not answer 2 question'
“Flighty lassies,” Scotty said, outloud, with a remorseful sigh like they can't help it, they're so terribad..
'Fine.'
'is that a y?' He let fly a very disgruntled noise at himself for even thinking the next thing, but his fingers were already texting it out with lightning thumbs. 'y take time off then?'
'y'
Fouling up, fouling up, fouling up! He knew he should just say nothing else. She'd probably ignore it, especially now that she has a dog now to keep her occupied! He told himself to stop making an ass out of himself and even wondering about any of it. FFS! FUUUUUUUUUUUUU! And there goes a wrench flying across the space. He stood there with his hands on his hips, feeling much better. Ahh! Refreshing!
Scotty went to fetch the wrench (yes, because he’ll need that for working on stuff), putting it back in it’s proper place. He looked at the phone where he had dropped it on a long dusty countertop, shrugged a little like that settled that. He typed back a simple 'ok' and decided it was best to leave the girl be. She could handle herself probably, if she's got a tray to throw or someone tries to grab her arse, then she’d just give them a ballstomp!
She felt the irrational urge to flirt. She wasn't quite satisfied, and Scotty perplexed her. She could never tell if he was actually interested or not. So she sent him a closup.
Again? Really? He was just as equally perplexed. He also nearly dropped a whole box of old clamps on his feet because he was trying to carry it and check the message at the same time. Wait, nevermind, that pain in his foot meant the box had made contact. He let fly a highpitched 'dgalghaghaa!' noise while dancing in place, then had the foresight to take a picture of the box of old clamps near his foot, hitting send. It seemed like the only suitable response to her picture because gaghlahgatooprettycan'tholdontostuff?
He brusquely pushed the box aside with his not aching foot, and texted. 'u can call if u'd like.'
He swore he was ever checking her texts from now on, while balancing boxes with one arm.
That didn't seem to be enough. No, there was something else she could do. Barely containing her laughter, she sent another picture.
For once in his entire argumentative blurty life, Scotty stared at the screen and was left at a blank as to what to say. Indeed, he is profoundly silent.
The woman felt a hundred times better, now.
He cleared his throat, opened his mouth, tried to make a single noise, but nothing happened. And so, his mouth just snapped shut again. Well, it’s not like they were flirting or anything, she was probably just being a smart ass. His fingers went flying again.
'wut was that 4 then?'
This was such a huge diversion. He had so many things to do. There was that list, and even if he had been working on things since the previous day, he was trying to remind himself he could use that as a valid excuse to just stop with the pestering of eachother. Only, when he looked around, he saw that at least half of his list was already accomplished, and therefore he couldn’t complain about getting nothing done.
Damn it. Just because she ruined his perfectly good excuse, he texted again: 'u dirty pervert.'
Response? There is none!
Hmph! Oh well. He tucked the phone into his pocket again after setting alarm times and a ring tone (and yes it was so the 'this is your drug dealer' one because that made him snerkle at it). He grabbed the shop broom and set to sweeping while whistling, doo dee doo!
Cass had gotten distracted, with soldering.
She’d stripped down to her undies and a shirt and was hard at work on circuit boards. Not her principle area of expertise but when you’re broke and desperately want a computer to program with you resort to unusual and extreme measures.
If he knew that, it would probably scramble his brain and have him dropping everything he tried to hold onto. Thank goodness he wasn’t aware.
Cass had left her phone on the floor nearby. Clitty, nosing at it, managed to activate the camera and send him a picture BECAUSE THAT IS MADE OF LULZ.
That dog is evil. He took one look at the phone and promptly fumble dropped it. Nuu, his precious! He dove to the floor and cradled his precious phone in both hands. And maybe peeked at the photo a couple more times, because no one could catch him doing that, so it made it okay. Right? Right. It was only twice. Three times would’ve made it not okay.
“Aye, she's rotten tae the core,” he said, like he's sure of it now. Well, it was probably better to let her know before he was ruthlessly and horrendously eyeball tortured by more pictures, so there he went, texting: 'nice knickers - i think dog pounced phone best watch it'
The phone buzzing caused Cass to burns herself. She sucked on her finger and stared at the phone, then laughed.
Well, no harm no foul asking, was there? 'just call + put on voice so can verbal abuse eachother 4 shits + giggle otherwise dog = txt more'
Problem solved! Solution reached! They could blab and work at the same time, and he could tell her how she shouldn't be doing it that way too, dumb butt. He half laughs at her. Mostly, he was curious what she was working on.
She could do one better. She requested video! She was positioned so her legs were up and it almost looked like she was soldering her crotch.
Oh that's bloody cruel! But before he does that, he has a moment of ‘she’ll get a kick out of this and be grossed out! awesome!’ He howled with laughter and texted cheeky monkey, recycling the pic he’d sent to Varric of him mooning the phone. And then he hit send. Yay, pasty ass jokes!
The phone was still blinking as if waiting. She rolled her eyes, “Press the freaking video buttoo--Oh god! What the hell!?”
Scotty slapped one hand down on a worktable and then wipes away a tear from his cheek leaving a little dirt smudgy there under one eye. Sometimes he amused himself, way too much.
He had another grand spontaneous laughing fit before accepting the vid call. That was needed that after being pissed on by puppies that day and worrying a bit. Ahem!
Picking up a chip, she mutted, “Jerkass.”
“Who? Me? Not the one who'd started it.” Sheer smart assery. He can be good at it, sometimes! He was also very remindful, “Dawgie did.”
She really was working on something, though. His brows knit together as he shoved his face practically against the phone, and - if would help - he could hop up and down and see over the edge of the phone just to peek at what she was tinkering with. Hell with that, though, because it was often times just easier to blurt out, “What're ye workin' on?”
“Clitty was just playing. And thats a secret.”
“Did ye have tae name him CLITTY?” He made a face back at her. “Name him something tough. He's gonnae get his arse kicked in the dog park. An' given that ye're namin' the dawg CLITTY I'd not be the least surprised if ye were soldering t'gether a vibrator or t'likes. SERIOUSLY.”
“He won’t get his ass kicked,” She replied, laughing. “He'll get all the bitches.”
“Yer a cruel woman, Cass.” She did get a laugh out of him though. “Arse!”
For the first time in quite awhile, she seemed to be in a good mood. She pushed mussy hair out of her face and sucked her finger after burning it again, “Kiss min.”
“Careful, lassie, that's hot.” Yep, he noticed her improved mood and winced like he knows what that feels like, first hand. “Seriously though, what's that then? I dinnae know ye knew how tae use one of those, even. Unless it's yer first time an' then I'll walk ye through it.”
Yes, he will give her pointers, because her sucking her finger like that? It is doing absolutely nothing helpful. So much so, that he’s trying to look like he's not honed in on it! No, not one bit.
“I can't afford a computer.” She paged through printouts of circuit boards to make sure she was on the right track. One of the sisters at school had taught her how to solder and how not to be an idiot, but she was still learning, even now.
“Ye should've said ye wanted one, I could've pieced it together. Did ye get enough of a power supply for it?” Scotty propped the phone up and started picking through some old nuts and bolts and washers. He idly threw some into the ‘cracked or stripped out’ pile, and was checking the approximate size of another while asking, “ Are ye gonnae use it tae shop for shoes?”
He was, of course, being a total grinning shit bag while asking, as though he was deliberately trying to get her goat again.
“ ..I don't need any charity..” Her voice sounded a little cold as she got on her knees to wrangle with something.
He gave the phone a pointed look. “What's ye fascination with thinkin' everyone's tryin' tae give ye charity hand outs, any ways?”
While still elbow deep in computer parts, she affected a thick Irish accent to mimic her mother, "I downae noaw why yea old on tae th'old piece of shite, s'just a toy yae got for charity. I nevah shove brouwt eeit ham!" She snorted, and started screwing something in.
Scotty was openly staring at the phone, not sure he heard right. When it did sink in, and finally registered, a huge fantastical grin busted forth. “Wut the shite?”
“My mother thought computers weren't proper for a girl.”
Scotty’s voice ws a little snarky and sing-songy, “I was aboo~owt tae say!”
“She thought a lot of things weren't proper for a girl, so I don't know why she sent me to that den of depravity that was Mother Mary's.” She glanced at the phone and gave him a cheeky smile.
“Lass, ye do cover that up well.” He whistled a little, very softly, and shook his head. “It's not charity, either. An' I s'possed ye mum lived in the dark ages where it was nae gude tae read, either?”
“She wasn’t that bad!”
He waved it off with one hand. “She cannae be worse than me own mum, nae offense intended! Or maybe she can, since me sis had a computer!”
“Did she marry you off to a deadbeat?” Shit.. Shit shit shit. She looked away from the phone.
“No.” He was a little quieter now and was staring worriedly at the phone, but only out of the corner of his eyes. He hadn’t turned his head directly to face her or anything, and wasn’t giving her the point blank stare he gave things he was a hundred percent focused on. “Why'd ye never say anything?”
“Doesn't matter. Cass scratched the back of her head. She needed an OS and some sort of drive now. She stared at her Frankenputer.
Scotty debated saying anything, but that usually only lasted 2.5 seconds with him anyway.
“I think maybe it does, or ye wouldn't mention it the way ye did all of a sudden. Much less!” He pointed at her on the screen. “That ye never mention it. Stop makin' that face, tae, or I'll kick ye.”
He would not kick her. Not really. That would be dumb.
“My guard slipped, I don’t usually talk about it.” She was worrying her lower lip now.
“I’m not the best tae talk about this sort of thing...nae room tae talk on it, ye know...but maybe ye get in bad moods 'cause ye DUNNAE talk about it much. Helps tae get things offae ye chest, lass. I mean...not that ye need...ye'r chest is fine an'...metaphor.”
Wow, that screw was useless. He throws it aside.
“Thats one of the better compliments my chest has gotten.” It almost deserved applause.
He wrinkled his nose up. “Should be getting quite a looo~oot more I'd think.”
The nuts and bolts were fumble dropped all over the tabletop, as he hadn’t intended to say that outloud. Ooops! He scooted them into a pile on the worktable with both hands, because he totally meant to do that.
Just in case bases needed to be covered, he mumbled in a low voice, “Ye knew what I'd meant, sae...ye could jus' answer an' make matters simple.”
She shook her head, “ I don't want to think about it.”
“Hard tae dae that, Cass, if it'll keep popping up now an' then like that. But I dunnae want tae be tae forward. I also dunnae want tae be a bother, either. I just dinnae understand why ye were takin' a vacation an' thought maybe it was something that I'd done.”
Wow, those bolts and shit were INTERESTING all of a sudden. He was totally checking them out now. They were worthy of a pinpoint stare inspection!
“Nothing you did. Not consciously anyway.” The waitress picked up a usb stick and stared at it thoughtfully. She started excitedly taking it apart. “Just a lot of stuff at once and you were kind of like.....”
“An arse? Fuckiddy? Auld an' crabbit?” He was all too happy to help out by making suggestions, while throwing out a nut into the reject pile.
“Dickwad.” It was one of her favorites. The same sister that taught her how to solder and work with circuit boards had used it.
“Aye, I s'pose I dunnae help matters much, did I.” Dickwad, really? He quirked his lips up a bit while digging through the bottom of the box. “I dinnae mean for ye tae leave. Or tae chase ye off, but I thought it'd be best. Perhaps.”
He gave up and simply dumped the last bit of miscellaneous crap on the table and poked through it with his fingertips.
“We're a bit like oil and water?” She affixed the flashchip to the motherboard. It wasn’t very large so was only a temporary solution.
“Aye, a wee bit,” he agreed, without question or further debate. “But maybe...I might miss ye if ye were gone for tae long.” No way was he going to embarrass himself by looking at the phone. Nope, not while admitting that. He is totally engrossed with the old metal crap.
Inexplicably, her skin started changing to the shade of Cass’s hair.
That’s good! Good, because he was pretty sure his ears felt like they were on fire, dammit. He was trying to ignore if they're turning red by turning his head just so, so she couldn’t see. Though it was probably pretty a little attention drawing when he angrily batted his fingertips at one ear like it could knock it off soon, because it was annoying him.
Trying to put her embarrassment out of her mind, she turned the computer on. It had an old macbook motherboard, with a dell chipset, laptop memory, and an HP bios. If it didn’t explode she was going to be surprised.
It was a handy trait to have in a pinch! Yay, scavenging!
Cass was Irish. It was only natural.
Being Scottish, he was no stranger to penny pinching.
Even so, it was probably better to cover up any awkward, and spare the girl from having to answer or think of something. After a full minute passed, he idly asked, “...s'it working?”
Cass dreamed of flatpanels, but she made do with a monitor that had once been part of an ATM. It hadn’t exploded. It showed a display of ‘no os found’. It worked! Mostly.
“Its missing something. I don't know what. I'm more of a software slut.” She rubbed her temple and peered down into the case.
“Well, ye are dirty,” he said, like he's poking her with a verbal stick. There was a big grin to let her know he's only joking, just in case she took that the wrong way. “I'm not so gude with the software, nope. I can do it, it jus' takes me longer than it does others...better when they're put together an' software's already put on there, then I can figure them out.”
Wrinkling his face all up like it was distasteful, Scotty grumbled, “Diagnostics. Blech. Necessary evil. Boring, long wait for results.”
It made her think of a story. She hoped he’d get a kick out of it. She sat back, stretching her legs out and rubbing them, “Okay. Picture this. Catholic school. They've got a network wired up. Its pretty rudimentary. I talk them into letting me smooth things out for them. Works great, they love it. Admin takes all the credit.”
Already, he expected revenge, because that’s what he too would’ve done. With a vengence. Scotty peeked up and caught himself starting to stare, so he looked away with a smile. He nodded to let her know he was listening, “Aye...go on then.”
“So we break into the computer lab, me and the girls and a couple of guys. Have a -real good time.” The last part came out in a lady purr. “Anyway, I fool around with the system. We have more of a good time, then clear out. Next morning every monitor on the property is showing a devil girl sodomizing a cute little blonde angel.”
She looked so proud.
That purr hadn’t helped much. He was hoping to get her to just get to the end of the story by sighing a bit during that part, but the rest of it had left him staring at the screen. A slow, huge grin of utter complete devilish delight was smeared over the entire lower half of his face. “That? Is bloooo~oody BRILLIANT!”
“I got expelled but was worth it.”
“That'd be well worth it, aye!” He was grinning wildly. “Gude on ye for dooo~eeen eet!”
He would have high-fived the phone but that'd just knock it over AND look stupid. Plus then he can't see her. As much as he's allowing himself to look, but he's trying to not to stare openly, because is not a gawking idiot. Most of the time.
She was sure there was something missing, so she flipped through the papers again. She was aware he was staring. She walked around in a corset and skirt all day. With heels, and stockings! She was used to it. Coming from him though was slightly confusing.
“Cassie? What're ye gonnae dae with the rest of that holiday ye're takin'?”
“Uhm. I hadn't thought that far ahead. Program. Lots of programming. I want to do a sequel to a game I wrote when I was 12.”
“Oh, aye! That'd be nice. Shooty game or otherwise?”
“I know its..stupid.. but I feel like I'm so far behind that I have to start from scratch. Strategy.”
“Like cards or chess or puzzles?” He raised his eyes up, impressed. “Oh. Wee armies!”
“You ever play Starcraft? Well no, its more like a 4X game. Like MOO. Someone smuggled in a copy of MOO3. I liked it and found copies of the first too.” She smiled softly.
“Aye, I did a few times. But it started tae suck up tae much time so I had tae play things that took less time...I get caught up innae....then nothing gets done. I know what ye mean, though.” He picked up the phone and started walking with it, still keeping an eye on where he was going. Or trying to.
“Its not a waste of time. Its practice.” She whittled away plenty of hours in the computer lab before she was expelled. She still didn’t know if the look on Judith’s face was pride or disappointment.
“I'll try it out, in me spare time.” He was quick to add, “If ye'd like, an' when ye're done with it. So I can tell ye if it's shite or not.” He flashed her a smile, grabbing one of his unfortunate pink coffee cups, heading up the stairs for a refill.
She doubted it would run on anything useful without a real os to run it on, but that’s part of the fun.
Whatever worked. If she was good enough, she’d make it work, because he’d already gotten a sense that she could be very stubborn sometimes, too. He took a very long drink of coffee, staring at the phone over the edge of the cup, and tried to think of what it was he was originally going to ask...oh right! He sputtered into the cup and coughed a little, before telling her, “About the wee doggie...”
She hadn't moved since stretching. She was sort of sprawled now.
“Did ye really want tae keep him, Cass?” He tried to ignore that she was doing anything that remotely involved sprawling.
Cass pulled the leg that's closer to the phone up and rocks her knee a bit, “I don't know. He's sweet. He keeps bringing back pieces of hardware.”
“Aye, he brought back...here...lemme show ye, just a moment.” That really wasn’t helping. He had tried to peek at her, and almost went falling down the stairs, spilling some of his coffee. If there’d been a crossbeam, he would’ve bashed his forehead against it, so distracted was he. “...ah ha...slippery steps...I'm fine.”
He gets downstairs into the garage, proper, and found the piece that the dog dragged out of some dark corner of the place he hadn’t thoroughly gone through yet. He held it up to the phone, then laid it down on the table, and aimed the phone down at it so that she could get a look. “Maybe ye can use it!”
Maybe she still had it. Cass totally laughed.
He smiled, despite himself, that he had at least gotten a laugh out of her. “It’s some sortae electrical board. Oh well, I can use it as well, so if ye dunnae need it.”
“Any markings on it?” She picked up the phone and peered. “I don't think I can mod that well enough.” She sounded disappointed.
“Think I'd be able tae use it for a fighting robot? I'm gonnae be making one, an' I'll need to program it somehow tae work with the remote.” He peeeeeked around the corner, into the phone. Just one eye was showing up, all big and blinky.
A robot?! “Really?”
“Aye. I got a client, through Varric.”
“I can program it!” She didn’t know why she opened her mouth or why the words came out.
“It'll need programmed an'...I was thinkin' that!” He had a huge grin into the phone like his face is totally shoved into it and sounds excited! Or, rather, he sounded and LOOKED excited about it. “I'll have tae put the board an' such in a gude secure housing so it can take a hit or two or two hundred.”
“It looks like it has the right inputs...”
“The dog dragged it outtae over yonder there.” He pointed the phone toward the area to show her.
“I can bring Clitty with me tomorrow or the next day and see if he finds anything else?” She sounded giddy. She was born for this.
“Sure, I'd not mind that, actually. Jus' try tae keep the dog out from under me feet. I didnae want tae get rid of him, really. But its not safe an' I know it, an' I didnae want the wee pup tae get hurt. Not a gude place for pets.”
What was great was it was a chance to hang out with her, which would be fun and win/win. Especially because he was interested in what she could really do with the computer components, if given half a chance.
“I'll be starting the cuttin' an' weldin' t'morrow, after I get some o' the rust offae the parts.”
She just needed to find her husband, divorce his sorry ass and get her life back on track. Sort of.
Scotty was blissfully unaware of that fact! GREAT! But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. If she wanted to hang around his sorry ass, then that's good and he actually didn't mind listening to her talk while he's doing stuff anyway. He’d pretty much found that out, over the past couple of days. When they weren’t having a verbal sparring match, that is.
It would be an interesting morning, Varric had plans to drop in as well, with loftwarming gifts.
Always welcome as well!
“So....I guess I'll see ye t'morrow?”
“'ll try to wear something a little more comfortable than last time.”
“Oh nae, just show up as ye are, by all means.” He stared into the phone with a face that was unreadably :|
She gave him an incredulous look, then panned the camera down her body, “Like this? Really?”
Thank you, Now crickets are chirping in his skull because his brain has been wiped clean, like clean slate. Mutters “Sure, like that” under his breath and then made a ARGH noise.
“Ye're jus' bein' a tease. Ye dunnae need tae dae that with me.” He swore his ears felt hot, as well as his face staring to the feel the same way.
“I can't help it.” She gave him a grin and thickened her accent up, “Aim r'prssd!”
“Ye're far frooooo~oowm it. Not that I mind but...Cassie...ye dunnae need tae dae that with me, really.” Ultimately he didn’t think she was seriously doing it, and just thinks it’s just playing around for a bit of fun and that’s all.
She laughed, and in a smokey voice said, “ Say good bye to Clitty.” She panned it over to the terrie. Who's chewing on a heel, “..! CLITTY! LET GO OF THAT YOU DICKWAD!”
Yeah, she's just having a bit of fun. Scotty gave the phone a wry smile and then looks like he's watching a trainwreck in slow mo as he's watching. “DUNNAE CALL HIM A DICKWAD YE'R GONNAE CONFUSE HIM WITH THE NAMES! MAKE UP YE MIND!”
Cass managed to catch the dog and retrieve her heel. After one look at it she laughcried, “Oh clitty.....”
e___e;;;;;; ←- That is his face. Yes.
“Name him sommae else would ye?! Shite, ye could name 'im FUCKY an' it'd sound better than CLITTY!” Why hello there, mini Scots temper flare. “YE'RE EMBARRASSING HIM.”
Clitty just yapped happily.
Cass meanwhile, was still staring at her heel. That was two pairs ruined, she had just two left - one for work and something slightly more comfortable. She needed to shop. Damn dog, “I need to take him to the vet after.”
“Do ye need more money?” Now there was a wince of responsibility, for he’d gotten her into this predicament, too. “If ye decide tae help with the big robo, then ye'll get paid as well.”
“You don't need to pay me anything.”
“Not gonnae do it for free.” He stopped talking like his tongue had hit the brakes, and his eyes went round as saucers. “I’d MEANT the work! ROBOT!”
This suddenly felt more real. She fidgetted, “Right.”
He quieted at her fidgeting, and thought for a moment. Wasn’t there something he was supposed to be doing? And she just looked really uncomfortable, so it was probably time to...oh that’s right, oil change for Faiza’s car. “Shite. I jus' remembered. I have tae work on the nice lassie's car that she's gonnae blow up...needs an oil change. So, if ye want tae poke around tae while I'm doin' that, I wouldnae mind.”
Why does his mouth have no filter? Again his eyes went round and he was having to backpeddle. “IN THE SHOP! I'd meant. In the shop. Lookin' for things tae use. With the dog. Or...I should nae bother ye any more than I might have already, Cass.”
“Going to poke around with this lassie?” She grinned.
Scotty stared incredulously at the phone, but switched gears in an instant, opting instead to go from incredulous to obstinant in under two seconds.
“It’s not like that at all. She's not that kind of lass. No. She's a doctor. With a porsche. I need tae text her at least tae set it up, or she's not gonna have a porshe any longer.” And that was the truth. He pursed his lips a little and squinted like he was sucking on something sour.
Smiling at him, Cass said, “That's sweet of you.”
He made a BLAH noise. It wasn’t sweet. It simply needed done, or an engine would go ka-put.
“You're kind. I know I know.” She grinned wider.
He looked like his eyes are going to get permanently stuck up in the back of his head, that's how hard he was rolling them up to stare at the ceiling. He could not do it any harder than that. But to counterbalance, there was also a hint of a smirk playing at his lips at the same time.
“It's fine but I need tae let her know tae stop by, sae it can get done,” he said, quietly. Meaning that, aww hell, just says it in a much clearer tone of voice. “I have tae get offae the phone, Cassie. An' text her. G'night, lass. Talk tae ye later!”
“Good night, Scotty.” Cass took her Clitty to potty, then put away her computer parts and collaped into bed with a terrierr blanket on her back.
Scotty took a moment to bonk his head directly onto the work table a few times, and then texted Faiza the address and the following message: 'please bring your car 2 this address so it doesn't explode thnx'
’Right-o!’
’Brilliant!' He sent her the time, and started getting to work, piecing some robo things together. He had a long night ahead of him, trying to even get the framework situated and assembled.