Couple of screws loose (quite_vexing) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2015-02-16 18:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, dick grayson (nightwing), harley quinn |
How’s your personal life, Dick?
Who: Dick Grayons and Dr. Harleen Quinzel
What: Dick gets cleared for duty. Mostly.
When: recently
Where: Harley's office
Rating: PG-13
This was awkward. But apparently given all the recent crime waves and such, the chief thought all the field officers needed to be mentally evaluated. He supposed it was fitting since one of their guys did snap under the pressure, but Dick really didn’t do that sort of thing. He was calm, he was good. He was just entirely nervous to be going to some kind of shrink office set up or not. If it hadn’t been, he could have thought of a million different things he’d rather be doing right in that moment then waiting in that little room to be chosen and judged.
He fidgeted with a magazine and looked up at the door every so often. There weren’t a lot of people waiting at least, maybe he could get through this with as little embarrassment as possible. Dick waited his turn to be seen, reading right through a old copy of People from 2011.
Calm and good didn’t mean that you couldn’t snap. As far as Harley was concerned that was a recipe for potential breakage. She peeked out the door. Professional looking, and not at all starting to crack herself (honest!), the blonde waved at Dick. “Richard Grayson? Come on in!”
She stepped back to let him in. Her office was roomy, set up to be soothing to most people but with personal touches. If she couldn’t share herself with her clients, how could they share themselves with her? Her hair was tied back in a pony tail and she wore a comfortable looking blouse. “Have a seat!”
“Uh yeah.” He looked up from his old magazine and put it back on the small center table with the rest of them. He was dressed business casual, since he’d come from work. He didn’t always do uniformed work either, he did a pretty fair deal of under cover street work too. He was one of the lucky few who’s only uniform requirement was just a badge.
“You’re Dr..sorry, I didn’t get the name from the Cap..” He hadn’t been looking forward to it, so he wasn’t exactly looking to make best friends here. He sat where he was told, and looked her over. She wasn’t bad on the eyes anyway. Maybe this evaluation thing wouldn’t be entirely horrible. “So..uh..What exactly is it I’m supposed to say here?” He’d obviously never bothered with a shrink before, he had no clue how to even start.
“Harleen Quinn, but you can just call me Harley. Harleen is so stiff. Stiff is no fun!” She smiled and sat, leaning back and crossing her legs. “Is there anything bothering you? It can be anything, big or small. Maybe even kinda inconsequential. But it’s a good startin’ point, Dick.”
She was definitely interesting so that was a good start. He figured he'd be bored to tears, but he hadn’t mentally checked out yet. "Uh I guess it's sort of an inconvenience bring at work more than I even see home. I know it's there, I get the rent bill every month so fast but I've only been home twice this week. I guess that's why I'm here though, one of the other beat cops in my unit snapped. But I'm not going to snap. " He was fairly good at keeping his cool under extreme pressure. Even when things annoyed him he didn't twitch with anger. "I've only been in this city for three months now and I've seen the station more than my own living room. "
“You definitely need to make time for yourself. I know you folks are busy, but if you don’t even take fifteen minutes to decompress you’re gonna end up with your brain melting out your ears and then how can you help people?” Smiling, Harley waggled a finger at him. “And that would be messy. Speaking of messy. Ever have a messy case?” Ever killed a man? She almost asked.
“Busy is putting it lightly but I’m trying anyway. That network thing kinda helps.” He’d already met a few friends there, and a few enemy’s possibly? “I’ll keep it in mind.” He gave her a strained smile, she was friendly at least. He’d sort of expected the opposite. Well really he didn’t know what to expect. “Few dozen messy cases..but only had to kill a couple. I’d rather not if it’s avoidable..” That was one of the few things Dick hated about being a cop, sometimes killing seemed unavoidable. He was however looking to change that in this city, “I don’t want to do it again.” The killings he had under his belt weighed on him at times.
"Weighs on you, doesn't it?" There was a slight sadness to her voice, like she could somehow emphasize which was generally impossible because a woman like her could hardly kill a person. "You don't enjoy it, and you know it's something as a last resort. Which is good. Too many people in that line of work end up dehumanizing the people they're supposed to help. That's something you can hold on to."
Dick didn’t know what to say to that except to look away awkwardly. It did and she was right, but how did he just come out and say that to a stranger? Even if she was a specialist it wasn’t something he’d really dealt with yet. “Of course I don’t enjoy it. It’s part of the job..but..if I can avoid it it’ll never happen again.” Dick tried everything in his power not to kill since that incident he didn’t talk about much, but it still affected him.
“What if you can’t avoid it, Richard?” She leaned forward, resting her hands on the desk in front of her. “It’s a part of your job. I know they give you a lot of non-lethal weapons, don’t they? But what if that’s not enough? What would you do?”
“You know my parents only ever called my Richard when I was in trouble or something. Dick is fine.” He tried to lighten the mood, he often did when subjects made him severely uncomfortable. This one was no exception. “They do, we’ve got enough to get by. I’ll make due, I always do.” Dick was determined to make a change, no amount of questioning was about to change that. “I don’t want anymore blood on my hands.”
Harley just had a hard time not guttering his name. It didn’t help that the woman she dreamed about found it HI-LAR-IOUS. She managed to not crack a smile. “That’s good. I hope you never have to worry about that.”
Harley shifted around, and then rested her chin on one hand. “How’s your personal life, Dick?”
“Somehow it’ll work out.” It had to, and then she was asking about his personal life..somehow he felt more uncomfortable with that topic than anything work related and froze her out. “Personal.” He insisted, not leaving any room for her to really wiggle in. “Look doc, am I cleared for my job or what?”
“Personal affects the professional,” she pointed out helpfully. “I see it all the time. Trouble at home leads to distraction at work. Problems bleed over, sometimes both ways. Part of my job is making sure that your work and home life is balanced.”
Dick had already begun to stand, but she didn’t answer him. He sat back down heavily and rolled his eyes. “Everything’s fine. Got a girlfriend, really. I’m fine.” He wasn’t exactly ecstatic to be sitting in that office, and the past was a thing he was going to avoid entirely unless questioned. “I haven’t entirely moved into my apartment yet, but I’m getting there..or I will get there eventually..” He trailed off. He hadn’t even pulled his things out of his boxes and duffle bags. They were still sitting in the middle of the room.
“Do you view your apartment as a temporary living space, or do you think it will be a long term place?” She thought that it was interesting that he’d gone right to the girlfriend thing, like she was supposed to expect that. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if it was relevant yet.
He shrugged at that. “Haven’t thought it through really, guess I’ll be here as long as the department needs me.” He was mainly attempting to show just how stable he was, now. He had been far from it most of his life. All he really wanted was out of there before things got too uncomfortable for him. They were already borderline. He was getting fidgety.
She was starting to notice. Tapping her finger against her lip, she tilted her head. “Is something wrong, Dick?”
“I really just wanna get cleared.” He muttered, he wasn’t feeling this anymore. He didnt’ want to explain any further. Dic wasn’t very comfortable with homes and the like. “It’s all just temporary.” He frowned in a hurried response. “Better not to get settled into anything that’s all.”
“Why is that? A man in your position needs some kind of stability, or you’ll bury yourself in work until there’s nothing left of you but the badge.”
“I’m plenty stable..” He made a face and looked over at the clock impatiently now. He wasn’t enjoying this part of the conversation. Not that he really would ever enjoy the parts that invited him to visit a shrink. “That is all I am. I am the job and there isn’t anything wrong with that.”
"No, I suppose there isn't." Harley tilted her head. They were out of time, and she was just getting to the good stuff. She gestured to the business cards on her desk. "Take one of those. Please. If you ever need to talk, just call. Off the record. Okay?"
He took a breath when she finally motioned to the card. “Yeah, all right doc. You’ll clear me with the boss though won’t you?” He worried but it seemed like he’d passed whatever non crazy test was there. She wasn’t giving him an overly concerned mandated break or anything. He was relieved with that. He stood to grab for one of the cards.
“I will, but on one condition.” She pointed at Dick. “Take care of yourself. Find a way to ground yourself. If not in a home, than with the people you’re charged with protecting.”
Ground himself huh. Irony since his early life was spent in the skies on the traps. He glanced over at her with a nod. “I’ll find a way. Scouts honor.” He’d never been a scout, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. But in all reality, it wasn’t a horrible suggestion. Just a daunting one.