shitty time to not be able to dragon slave anything. Who:Lady Lucky Neena, Lina, Ganondorf. What: Neena and Lina think they can just walk in to his office, hair blowing dramatically in the wind with an explosion behind them, but things don't work out exactly that way. When: Early November, after the attacks, before Lina and Neal went on their adventure. Where: Castle Casino Rating/Warnings: Snark, language, snark, and more snark. Violence? Explosions. Powerdick waving. The Triforce of Power. And the longing for pancakes covered in shame. Status: Complete!
Due to recent developments, Lina thought it’d be wise to carry around a pistol during ‘certain times of the month’ so she wouldn’t be too underhanded. The weapon was named Aunt Flo, and she had taken it from one of the douchebags that jumped her. Aunt Flo was going to be her friend during those ‘certain times of the month’ and help out should anyone need a bullet to their brain. Really, though, she missed her magic. And felt a little more vulnerable than usual without it, since she’d gotten so used to wielding it when necessary.
Neena had come along with the ride and her brewing rage was a weapon of its own. For once Lina was more there to do possible damage control if anything, a strange role to fit in, and while she was more than happy to wave a middle finger at Ganon’s direction for Booker, she had her own agenda to go in with.
“There’s a back elevator behind the casino--right around the courtyard,” Lina informed, motioning Neena over. “No cameras. Done on purpose like that. Doesn’t make much sense to me, but I sure as hell didn’t build this place.” A shrug. Only a handful of people used the entrance and it allowed admittance by a certain numeric code that she knew. Once they were punched in, the doors open. “Should lead us right up. I’m all for blazing guns and dramatic explosions in the background with our hair blowing in the wind, buuuut..being ninjas might be better.”
Secret elevators with no cameras and access codes sounded like some crime lord yakuza bullshit to Neena. She'd put on her black work suit and thrown her hair back out of her way. Despite the rage bubbling just underneath the surface, she had her game face on. She nodded her head at Lina while she did one last check of all her pistols. Loaded, and ready for action. Her favorite one she left in her hand instead of holstering.
"Ninja business it is. I'd rather he didn't know we were coming. More fun for us, and he won't run his chicken shit little ass away." Because what coward sent a boy to do a man's job? Probably one that was regretting his choices right about now. If not, Neena and Lina were there to make sure.
She waved ahead of her with her pistol, and nodded, "After you, Lady. You're the one with the code."
Something about this entire thing kind of reeked of trap to Lina, though she wasn’t sure and she really didn’t know why. It was all a strange situation and she figured, hey, her and Neena were loud enough to bitch about it and hopefully find answers. Lina knew most of the area due to her previous moles (she didn’t trust anyone in cahoots with Shabby-Dabby-Doo, so, yeah, snitches), and Neena was the one more equipped in the scenario of hostility tonight.
Plus, Ganon had made shit personal. And if Neena wanted to avenge her lover being shot, she had the right.
Once they were in, she pressed the button that led them to the upper levels. “It’s still all really fishy,” she piped up, tossing Neena a concerned glance. “It’s like...we’re missing something? I don’t know.”
But they were nearing the floor with every lit up number and bing, and she stayed close to the side for some cover should the doors open to people that wouldn’t be all that thrilled to see them.
"Well you know what they say about traps," Neena replied, while raising her gun up against the side of her face. She readied herself to check the area outside the elevator as it came to the stop.
Her tone all business, she added, "The best way to handle them is to spring them. It's not like we don't have luck on our side."
Luck. What bullshit. Neena didn't even believe in her own luck half the time, and she snorted a bit through her nose like she was mocking herself for even mentioning it. It was because of her 'luck powers' that Clarice was lying in the hospital, and Neena still had no idea if she was going to make it through this. She had no idea if they were going to make it through this.
None of that mattered right at the moment, though. She took a step into the hallway, in front of Lina, and went through the process of clearing the area. Only there wasn't anything awaiting them. No guns, no men shouting at them, no traps, no ambush. She turned back to Lina and furrowed her brow, "OKay, NOW I'm worried."
Aside from the sound of the elevator’s ding! and the opening of metal doors, there was silence. And in scenarios like these, silence wasn’t always the best thing. “This can’t be right,” Lina remarked, brows furrowed right back at Neena before stepping out in the hallway - with caution. No booby traps? No button on the tile to step on to unleash flaming arrows?
“You can’t just arrange a shitload of intimidation tactics to people in a span of a night and not expect retaliation. He’s either stupid, or doesn’t think we’re worth the goons.” Lina huffed, hands going onto her hips, though the image was a little comical. Here comes this little angry redhead with a fucked up face bitching up a storm and sounding insulted that they weren’t greeted by some expendables.
Joking aside though, that uncomfortable feeling began to sink deeper. Because really, it all was...empty. Not even a soul, though Lina knew he’d be up in his office, doing whatever he did. Hacking a head off, screwing a stripper, whatever rich assholes with the penchant of evil did nowadays. Someone like that was never alone, always surrounded by trained bodyguards, most ex-military, difficult buttheads that knew exactly what they were doing.
Shitty time to not be able to Dragon Slave anything.
Lina scratched her head awkwardly. “I guess we...go...to..his office? We just...follow this hallway…” It had some twists and turns, but no other corridors attached. Some other elevators, doors to ‘storage’ and other ‘utility rooms.’ At the end was another elevator, and several feet in front of that was ornate doors that didn’t belong to some ordinary storage unit or crappy office.
"I have a bad feeling about this," Neena replied. Her entire spine was twitching in that way it tended to do when her powers were trying to warn her to move this way or that. Only this time, her danger sense couldn't really make her move out of the way of anything tangible. There wasn't anything there at all. Not even any mechanical traps.
"But sure, lets just walk down this creepily silent hallway and through the very ornate 'evil boss lives here' doors. It's the obvious path, after all. I'm sure he wouldn't want us to take any detours."
Though detours might get them some extra information about Ganon, depending on what they found in the various 'storage' and 'utility' rooms. Neena was expecting bdsm gear, drugs, the bodies of dead hookers, maybe even some satanic altars. That's what creepy evil rich guys were into, right?
As she headed down the hallway, she added, "Maybe some illuminati bullshit. I bet we'd find some illuminati bullshit."
Neena only babbled when she was nervous. The lack of anything to shoot was making her rage turn into every imaginable nervous feeling. The jangling in her spine only got worse as they got closer to the doors in question.
And dearest Neena wasn’t on her own when it came to the babbling - funny remarks, dry humor, all coping mechanisms to deal with that strange twist in her gut, the kind of feeling that screamed into her blood that something isn’t right, the fuck are you doing, Inverse? But as strong-headed (putting it nicely, really) as these two women were, their legs still carried them through the corridors, eyes spotting each door and each elevator should one of them conveniently crack open.
Hell, even she didn’t really know what were behind those doors. First time she’d ever seen them, and the one person that could give her the scoop was no longer in Orange County limits. Either way, like hell it mattered now. “Evil boss door’s a pretty accurate description though,” Lina quipped and shrugged her shoulders at Neena, as if they were two buddies just taking a lovely stroll down creepy-as-fuck hallway. And when they got to it, even that wasn’t guarded.
There were cameras in the corner of the ceilings, but they didn’t seem on either. Lina exhaled, cheeks filled with hot air, before she sighed it all out in a frustrated growl and another confused head scratch.
“Okay, so...we know this is a load of crap. And we’re walking into something shady. So should we be nice and knock on the door, or the badass entrance of where we bash it open with our feet? Either way, doesn’t change the bullcrap or the shadiness.”
"At least he's not doing that bullshit where he invites us in for tea and regales us with stories about why he's so much better than us. That bullshit gets really old." Neena replied, her tone the kind of cheerful that usually masked other emotions. She and Lina were very alike in that regard, and it was nice to be working with someone who got that.
She screwed her face up a bit while she thought about their entrance, then shrugged a shoulder and pulled a grenade off of her waist, "I've got a flashbang. Why don't we open the door and toss one in, then slow-walk in while tossing our hair all badassed lady superhero style?"
Then she snorted and added, "Or we could just knock and see if anyone's home. With explosives."
“Wow. You make it sound like you actually had a tea party with an asshole like that,” Lina pointed out, grinning crookedly. Sounded like a hell of a story. Although she could go for some tea and crumpets right now - or really, any kind of edible thing at the moment. Come to think of it, she was hungry.
Thinking about ways to satisfy that insatiable hunger was a little inappropriate, but Neena’s suggestions had distracted her enough from the growling pit that was her stomach. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the grenade and that crooked grin turned absolutely devious. “I need the hair tossing. Hair tossing’s going to make me feel pretty. I mean, look what the assholes did to my face! I’m not gonna feel pretty for awhile. But we can do the explosives thing, too.” Her attention went to the doors before them and she cracked her fingers, as if she’d been readying herself for a spell to cast. “Gotta love it when things go down in some fiery glory.”
All of Lina’s tactics involved flashy gestures of ’lookit me! lookit me! LOOKIT ME I SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE!’, so, yes. She was all for this.
"I think we're gonna enjoy this a little too much," Neena said, mirroring Lina's crooked grin with one of her own. In one hand, she had her flashbang ready to go. Her other hand put her pistol away for the time being and pulled out an honest to god grenade..
"Let the man know we're here, then. It's polite to knock first before you kill someone. Then we can get this over with and go eat some pancakes. Maybe I'll tell you a story or two. Murder and mayhem always make me hungry and I'll be feeling a LOT more talkative after this man is in the ground."
With that, she pulled the pin on the grenade with her teeth and tossed it towards the door. “You’re gonna wanna get clear of this a bit.”
“God, I love pancakes.” Yeah, totally a date after they put the douchebag in his place. And hopefully that would be the conclusion of the night and nothing else drastic that would be, uh, non-beneficial for them. If not, well...Lina hoped there would still be pancakes at least. Though she knew the drill and took several steps back, using her arm to shield herself from the blast and shut her eyes from the brightness.
Now, she had honestly kinda hoped that it would just take a grenade to call it all a night and the deed be done. Unfortunately, things were never quite that easy. There was an explosion, the doors were blasted open and the inside received a good bit of damage, but there was no scream, no signs of pain or surprise.
Once the smoke cleared, they were greeted to a damaged and fairly bare office (with a few things lit on fire because, you know, grenades), though there were four paintings - two on each wall - that stayed hung and clear of damage, despite the grenade. Four paintings of a dark forest path and in the distance of it, a man on a black horse.
“Oh, come ON! What the hell? Is he on vacation or something?! Gah!” Lina had been ready to pull her hair out, because seriously, horseshit! One step into the office though, and then her demeanor changed some. Not because there was anything different, but…
She felt something off. She didn’t know what was tingling her senses - but usually they went off when something....interesting was in the area. Something different than just bloodlust. Something….bad. She wasn’t sure, but she tested it more when they cautiously stepped into the room more, dead center of it, with the paintings at their sides. Comedic relief aside, Lina looked to Neena. For once, it meant business. “Please tell me you feel that.”
A rising pressure, a strange fog of darkness. Casting magic made her sensitive to surrounding powers and those were senses that stayed activated despite her disadvantage. It was then that all four of the paintings came to life - and by life, the ‘man on the dark horse’ began riding down that path of that dark forest. The closer he got, the easier it was to recognize - it was Ganon.
In a painting.
On a horse.
Coming at them. In all four paintings. One of them was real, the other three were fake. And the real one was on Neena’s side, because he emerged from one while the other illusions seemed to have dissolved, and him and his loyal steed from hell leapt over them. All four hooves landed heavily, cracking the ground beneath them.
"Oh yeah, I definitely feel that. Feels like my spine's trying to twitch in every direction at once..." Neena mumbled, while the paintings came to life.
Now that was something you didn't get to experience. Four horsemen riding at you from the inside of a painting, all of them wearing the face of -- well, Neena'd never met the guy, but that had to be him, right? At least the guy knew how to make an entrance.
The horseman might have been coming right for her, but lucky for Neena she'd been looking in that direction right as he lept through. And she flipped backwards out of its path, though he didn't seem to be attacking them anyway. Yet. She thought.
"OKay so... your intel didn't say anything about magical painting guy and his creepy horse. This is like one of those horror movies where any second now something's going to drag us into a nightmare realm." Neena grumbled. She pulled out her gun and clicked off the safety, then pointed it at the man on the horse, since hey- he seemed to be their enemy, "Ganon, I presume? Are you going to give us a speech or just run us over some more?"
No, her intel didn’t say shit about that. But it explained that uncomfortable tingle, the growing pressure, and a string of curse words were muttered under her breath. Terrible time to not have her full magic at her disposal, because the paintings had come alive and Ganon had flown out like some horseman of the apocalypse.
Ganon must have been expecting them, since there wasn’t an inkling of surprise in his features at all. He was dressed in a casual suit, his skin having a very strange, ghost-like green tint to it, and he glanced upon the women with almost a degree of boredom. “You’re correct at that. Neena, I presume? Damaging my office, greeting me with the nose of a gun - it’s almost romantic.”
“Wrong time to hit on anyone, buddy,” Lina spat, annoyed. And now paranoid. “So, uh...the horse. And the, uh...paintings…”
“Unlike some people,” he began with a snort, and by ‘some people’ he referred to the obnoxiously loud redhead that rambled on about magic on an open forum. “I don’t freely announce gifts that are to my advantage. Playing the ignorant card around a group of people with abilities didn’t make me much of a concern. Until now, I suppose.”
Lina could ramble on and on about how she had the right to speech, blahblah, free country jerkface, but that kind of smart talk was reserved for when she could back it up with magical arsen. She had a small gun. And could cast a lighting spell and maybe a few other things, but that was it.
“Heard your lover got a little more involved than she should,” Ganon continued, head tilted towards Neena’s direction. But his mouth formed a grin, not at all subtle with its wickedness. “Casualty of war, and all. Don’t take it personally.”
Lina slapped her palm against her forehead and didn’t care if it hurt.
"Oh sure, 'don't take it personal!'. You don't know me very well, do you?" Neena replied, snorting a bit. The gun she had in her hand was mostly for show, but the knife she was itching to cut him with? That was all business, and when she got the opportunity to use it she was going to show him just how personal she was about to make this.
"It's not like your guys were talking business with me and my fiance decided to meddle in your affairs. She was barely involved, and we aren't going to list my lover on some kind of business ledger, like her blood is just a line of ink and nothing more." She glanced over at Lina, "Do you want to add anything to this?"
Clarice was an accident, though one he didn’t care to feel any remorse about. Just another body to add to the growing pile. Ganon dismounted the phantom horse, dusted himself off and straightened his jacket. On the back of his palm was golden symbol that glowed, then disappeared as if it were never there. “Well, if Mr. DeWitt hadn’t neglected his sinking loan, none of this would have ever happened, now would it?” There was a calm air about him; nothing especially cocky, but it was still...unsettling. “And here you are, trying to fight a useless battle, when all I want is to be repaid.”
Oh, Lina had plenty to add. For once she decidedly held her tongue, and after a good look over of Ganon and his demonic mount, she side-stepped closer to Neena. “This is all shades of wrong,” she whispered, briefly glancing at her before nodding her head over to Ganon. Contrary to what others might assume, she actually was careful with the battles she picked - and Lina wasn’t picking this one. Not tonight. Not with just a gun. “Unless you got something that’ll work well against someone with magic mojo, I’m thinking we run.”
“Oh, no. You came here clearly for some kind of show.” Ganon stepped closer and that’s when Lina reached for her own weapon. She hadn’t pulled it out yet - didn’t even know if it would do a damn thing. “I feel more than obliged to deliver.”
It wasn't the magical mojo or even the glowing thing on Ganon's hand that made Neena rethink her plans. She was angry enough to do eighteen different stupid things that evening. Even if her luck often chose annoying ways to show itself, she figured it was still on her side. No, she wasn't really ready to back down, and it was Ganon's demeanor - not Lina's concern - that filtered through her own feelings to cast doubt.
He was too calm. Too prepared. She'd faced enemies like that, and her spine was jangling even more violently. That bad feeling she'd had in the hallway was only getting worse. She grumbled, "I told you he was the tea and exposition kind of villain, didn't I?"
Her gun stayed out, though, even if her brain was quickly trying to think through exit plans A through D. She'd come up with a few of them in case this went really sour, but in the face of Ganon's unsettling calmness she was starting to think that they were only getting out of here if he let them. Fuck.
“Noted, though I’d be more inclined to sit and see if there were actually cookies and tea,” Lina retorted, snort and all, and made a face of nervous uncertainty. No, she really didn’t want to stick around with Ganon’s blatant powerdick waving - though if he wanted them actually dead, he would have surrounded himself with a wall of minions and then display whatever mojo the OC decided to let his crazy ass have. Or so she figured, really. They were still breathing, unscathed, so there was a chance of escape.
“I surely love how you’re having an on-going conversation as if I’m not here,” Ganon pointed out with a brow raised in boredom. Eerily calm, unafraid - easy to assume he expected them, and it was easy to assume that he was confident he could properly deal with them. A curled fist rose, and that gold symbol - three connected triangles - lit up again.
Nope. Nopenope. Not sticking around for this. Magic still wasn’t in full access, but there were some tricks here and there she could use. Nothing of extraordinary catastrophe - otherwise she wouldn’t be against going head to head with this sleazeball - but enough for a distraction. Lina wasn’t up for another asskicking with the potential of death, thanks. Racking the internal dictionary of spells logged into her head, she made up her mind and held her hands out, a mess of black, cloudy energy taking form. “Dark Mist!”
How original, but really, it summoned exactly that. A mist of darkness, so thick it was difficult for light to filter through and it took over the entirety of the room. That’s when she made a grab for Neena through it. “Time to go!”
"'Dark Mist'? Really?" Neena retorted, as the mist rolled in. But she was more than happy to put her gun away and let Lina grab her.
OKay, no, she wasn't happy. Nothing about this situation was okay. Ganon was more powerful than they could even fathom, and revenge was a thing that she wasn't sure she was ever getting her hands on. That bothered her, because it also meant she couldn't protect any of them from being struck by him or his minions again, either. Plus? Powerful evil camped on their doorstep? Yeah, that was never a good thing.
But as much as she had a death wish here and there, she also wasn't stupid enough to throw herself into a wasteful battle. "Strategic retreating, that sounds like a great plan. And then we can eat the pancakes of helpless shame while trying to make ourselves feel better."
Her luck was still going strong, and though it was still a little dark from all that mist, she knew it'd guide Lina's hand towards the best possible exit. Hopefully. The odds were pretty good, anyway.
“I don’t name these things,” was Lina’s grumbly response to Neena’s sarcasm, though it was likely it had all been drowned out by the rush of escape. She couldn’t see Ganon, but she could hear some sort of gargled, beast-like cry that didn’t sound like it’d come from a human, and then the crumbling of architecture and curiosity almost made her wish the mist wasn’t in the way so she could actually see what the hell happened. You know, for science. Magic science.
Neena had led the way as if she knew where to go and Lina was inclined to trust her. She was Lady Luck and chances were fortune was on their side, and hopefully they got lucky to pick the right damn exit - which was an emergency stairwell, with flights they could easily leap down from to make shit go quick - and soon the mist was a thing that was behind them. “Pancakes with the syrup of failure,” she panted, glancing over her shoulder real quick. “Let’s make sure we get those pancakes far, far away from this place!”
"Maybe then we can blow something up and walk away from it like the pair of badassed heroes we were supposed to be," Neena quipped, a big breathless. Those cigarettes she'd been chain smoking were really starting to have an effect on her lung capacity, but that was something she could yell at herself about later.
For now, she was too busy slamming through an emergency exit and leaping down the stair wells. Whatever noises were going on in the background, Neena decided she'd process later. Like the fact that they didn't sound human. Who the hell or what the hell was that guy? Guy-thing. A powerful guy-thing she'd just pissed off maybe?
Yeah, she wasn't thinking about that. Instead, she was frantically leading Lina down the stairwell of escape. She tossed another flashbang behind them, just in case they were being followed, declaring "FLASHY LIGHT!"
And then there was the door. Its red 'EXIT' sign glowed like it had been delivered by Angels. Neena flung herself through it and just hoped Lina was behind her.