Lydia Martin is a survivor. (idontneedtohide) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-12-14 19:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | lydia martin |
Characters: Lydia Martin.
Location: Cora’s hospital room.
Time: 14 December, late at night.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Lydia has something of a revelation while at the hospital.
Status: Narrative, complete.
Lydia still couldn’t believe she was back in the hospital, especially because she was here for Cora. She also couldn’t believe that it had already been three days since she had first heard that Cora was in taken there via ambulance from her campus. Lydia also couldn’t forget that overwhelming feeling of dread, that scream she let out. Even now, she could almost still feel the near silence that came over her after the last of her scream died out, quiet and deathly still except for the small, whispering voices. Despite the fact that she couldn’t hear anything else, Lydia didn’t really understand most of what she heard, only that the voices were saying Cora. That, coupled with that horrible feeling that was welling in her chest was all she needed to know that something terrible had happened. Of course, Lydia had been watching Cora just deteriorate in front of her eyes. She hadn’t waited to say something, and Lydia knew better than anyone that if something happened in your Dreams, it could happen here, in the real world. But they hadn’t really talked about their Dreams, not a lot anyway. Most of Lydia still just wanted to forget all of it, wanted to pretend like it wasn’t happening, but she couldn’t forget what she had dreamed, she couldn’t forget ending up in the hospital. Right now, though, what was bothering Lydia about her Dreams was far on the back burner, almost forgotten, because Cora was more important than anything else. Since showing up at the hospital, Lydia hadn’t left Cora’s room. The only time she did, it was when the nurses insisted that she step out and even then, she mostly just waited outside of the room until the nurse came back out and said it was okay to go back in. For the most part, Lydia didn’t even eat unless food was put right in front of her face, and she couldn’t sleep well, despite the rhythmic beeping of the telemetry machine that had helped her sleep when she was here last. Lydia wanted to stay awake, watching all the numbers, making sure they were all okay. Part of her was afraid that if she fell asleep, something would happen. She wanted to be awake if Cora woke up, or if something happened; she didn’t want to miss anything because she fell asleep. That didn’t stop her from occasionally collapsing from exhaustion, head resting on the bed, her hand gripping Cora’s. It wasn’t the best sleeping position and her neck killed her when she woke back up, but that didn’t stop her from falling asleep that way. Tonight, Lydia was fighting to stay awake like usual, sitting in the dim light of the room. It was late and she was trying to be quiet. It wasn't hard to do that since Lydia hasn't felt like talking since Cora was hospitalized. Her phone has been on silent for days and she only checked it occasionally for texts from her friends and family, but she didn't feel like being on it otherwise, not even to listen to music. Earlier, when her grandmother and Maddie had been here had been one of the few times that Lydia had let go of Cora's hand because she just hugged Lorraine and cried for a while, just because she needed to get it all out. Lorraine had managed to take her down to the cafeteria and get her to eat something. Lydia figured that was dually to get her to eat, but also to just get her out of Cora's room for a little while because anyone could see that Lydia was understandably upset seeing Cora so sick. It really hit her over and over again how much she cared about her the past few days. It started with that comment she made to Hans without really thinking, that she didn't know what she would do without Cora, then it was how she so afraid to fall asleep or leave Cora's side. While she was down in the cafeteria with her grandmother, they started talking, and the more Lydia said, the more this feeling she couldn't describe crept up on her. She hadn't put it in words, didn't really think about it, but sitting back in the chair that she had been living in these past few days in silence, there was a lot of time to think. Not that she really knew what to think. Staring at Cora laying in her hospital bed really hurt her. Lydia would swear forever that she knew that Cora would get better, because she had to; she wasn't wrong when she said she didn't know what she would do without her. Cora was her favourite person in the entire world, the only person who knew basically everything about her, who didn't expect her to be one way or another. Lydia didn't have to be the popular girl when they were sitting on their couch watching stupid movies. Lydia didn't have to pretend not to like Tolkien. She didn't have to dress meticulously or make sure her eyeliner was perfect. Cora had been there for her through her parents' divorce, had always been there for her. She'd heard from others how she was with her the entire time she was in the hospital. It wasn't that she'd taken Cora for granted all this time, because she hadn't. What she was realising now was that maybe all those stupid jokes her grandmother and Maddie had made weren't really wrong. Maybe Lydia just needed something like this, something that really shook her, to make her really see that. She wished that it didn't have to be Cora being in the hospital for her to see it, but Lydia really cared about Cora more than she even realised. Of course, Lydia had never really been the kind to be shy about things like this, and she didn't think she really knew how to do subtle in cases like this, and at the same time, she didn't want to ruin anything. She almost laughed to herself, about how chic-flick this whole situation felt to her. All that really mattered to Lydia was making sure that Cora was okay and that nothing ever happened to her. Lydia was still going to protect her with her life and well, now it just got really serious. Did that make her the Prince Charming? Whatever labels people wanted to put on her didn't matter; Lydia could handle labels. All Lydia really knew was that she loved Cora. |