littlegreengirl (littlegreengirl) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-04-01 14:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, faiza hussain (excalibur), gaila, leonard mccoy, montgomery scott |
"Well if it ain't mah darhlin and best girl."
Who: Gaila, Faiza, McCoy and Scotty
What: Further doctoring and flirting
Where: Faiza's clinic
When: Saturday
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete!
Faiza had found nothing. Gaila was perfectly healthy, more so than most folks since she rarely ate anything particularly bad - though Faiza had warned her she needed to watch her pudding and chocolate if she wanted to keep her weight down. That had proven effective. Regardless, she had nothing. Well not entirely nothing, there were some odd things with Gaila's DNA but nothing she could pinpoint as wrong.
"I've got nothing," She told Scotty.
"Nothing? Not even Hulk-ism?" he asked, and he kinda hoped she didn't turn into She-Hulk, because she'd go off lawyering and if she got mad at him, he might get ripped in two pieces and thrown through a wall. "Well, am I clear then, tae? Or am I goin' tae turn green?"
Because if they both had super powers, they could just have a throw down and it'd be equal and he wouldn't have to be squashed flat by an angry She-Hulk.
Frankly, if you asked Faiza, she'd say Gaila had alien DNA. But that was preposterous and the product of an overactive imagination, "You're clear. Mostly. Cholesterol way too high, blood pressure too high, and you're Scottish. I can't fix the last thing but I can get you some meds for the other two."
"Oh ha ha. And I dinnae need meds, I've gotten by perfectly fine without them." Scoff. Scottish variety. Stubbornated, even. "Well, that cancels oot anything living. Umm...ye know, we could move ontae the...maybe dead things." Though Scotty didn't like to have to bring that up, because the thought kind of made him feel like an anvil just landed in the pit of his stomach.
"You're getting meds anyway," Faiza said stubbornly. "If you want to be AROUND for her and any green children you bloody have."
"Nae bairns! And everyone in Scotland has a heart that's about tae explode, sae ye can GET AFF me arse now, cheers. Really. Hmph! Worry about her more, would ye?!" Scotty was offended. How dare she try to change hundreds of years of what made Scottish people great: raising hell, eating fatty fried foods, and drinking too much liquor. "I will not take them."
Gaila squinted at him, "Take the pills."
"Nae. And this isnae the time tae discuss this." Scotty's eyes were like two beady little pebbles, set like stubborn jewels in scrunched up squinty eyelids.
"And what do you mean about dead things, duck?"
Scotty folded both arms over himself and tipped his chin up, defiantly. Just in case they tried to keep making him take stupid pills that he didn't need. "We should call McCoy. If anyone's ever shown up green an' dead, he'd know about it. He's seen all sorts of crazy shite."
Faiza snuck Gaila some pills. Gaila took them; she'd get him to take them without realizing it.
"Leo? I mean Dr. McCoy?" Faiza perked up at the idea.
"Don't start piddling on the floor over it." He took out his phone and dialed 'doctor-deadpeople' in the address book. Which was, naturally, McCoy's number.
"He still owes me a coffee da--..........time." Smooth, Faiza, smooth.
Scotty just rolled his eyes, because she was like Captain Obvious there, with that slip up. Well, that, and he knew that McCoy batted for both teams, which was what he imagined 'broadening one's horizons' meant.
McCoy, currently scrubbing out of the morgue was dumping his scrubs into the cleaning bin and getting changed to go back out when the ringtone he'd assigned Scotty started going off. "Well if it ain't mah darhlin and best girl." he said, when picking it up. "What's going on then, Scotty?"
"I dae declare that I might have need of yer expertise, sir, as I'm feelin' haaawt an' twitterpated," he cooed into the phone, but then sounded much more serious. "Actually, I was wonderin' if ye could stop by this doctor office we're in, and have a wee look at something, that we'd need yer expertise tae decipher. Ye smart arse."
"Well that's evasive." McCoy told him, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he started to work on his hands. "Or it's really fucking unnerving and involves, I don't know, robot combat gone wrong. Faiza that doctor then?" he asked, curious.
Gaila was making <3 signs behind Faiza's back.
Scotty tried not to snerk and was making a very valiant effort to remain straight faced.
"Aye, Faiza's place of employ. It's...I think something ye'd have tae see tae believe. But we were thinking, maybe, since ye have see a lot, ye might've come across something remotely similar before. Sae it's worth it tae maybe...have ye take a look. Whenever yer able tae, though yer probably curious now, aren't ye?" He did snerk now, and lowered his voice down into something comic sexy, "I'll show ye mine, if ye show me yers."
Faiza pursed her lips.
"Show me it too, " Gaila added!
"Well you know I can't pass that up." McCoy said, and while he was a little concerned, Scotty wouldn't be joking about this sort of thing if, well, it was too serious. "Listen, I'm on my way out now. Lemme finish my date with the locker room and I'll be over."
"Nae, ye have tae wait yer turn! Our love is sacred an' private," Scotty told Gaila, and his nose went high up into the air, like he was offended anyone would think that he'd let them watch. He did say into the phone, "That's fine. Nae rush. We'll stay put an' wait for ye. Cheers!"
"You people are strange," Faiza said, shaking her head.
Oh Faiza, honey, you have NO idea.
"Only a running joke between us. It's funny. That's all." He gave her a pat on the shoulder and let McCoy do whatever he needed to do.
Eventually, McCoy finished up with his shower, then, because curiosity compelled him, didn't even bother drying his hair before he was in the truck and on his way, not even bothering to turn on the radio at the moment. Then he headed in, trying to brace himself for what might happen.
He was in for a surprise. In fact, as soon as Scotty saw him, both arms were raised up high, like he was cheering. Except his face was quite :| in that 'something maybe is wrong' sort of way.
"Scotty." McCoy crossed over to him quickly, then frowned at Scotty's face. "So this looks bad."
Gaila peeked out from behind Scotty and Faiza. She was green. Very, very green. Mint leaf green.
"Wee bit." He pinched his fingers together to show precisely how small, and then stood aside so McCoy could see more of Gaila.
"Tell me you're in an alien porno and in body paint." McCoy somehow didn't think this was the case. He didn't know what was going on with that but. "Jesus Christ, that's real?" Frown.
"Its not body paint, duck." Faiza was thrilled to see him, but all business, "Heres the blood tests. Looks a little alien weird, but not that would explain this."
"Aye. Happened very suddenly. In front of me very eyes, almost. She looked a bit odd, an' then it looked...that." Scotty merely pointed and nodded along with what Faiza was saying.
"In front of...What?" McCoy stared at him, really stared. "Like looking sick at first and gradually going darker green or what?" He didn't even ask if they were shitting him and it WAS makeup. They wouldn't do it about this.
"I didn't feel sick at all. I feel fantastic!"
"Aye, just like that." He nodded some more. "Like, I was sitting right there, next tae her, and she turned...that." He pointed at Gaila. "And she feels better than bloody ever, she says."
Gaila nodded!
"Color me confused." McCoy said, then he paused, "Shit, sorry about the pun. I haven't got a damn clue how that happened. Glad you're feeling okay, sure, but..."
"Sae, ye havenae seen anything like this, then. Ever." Scotty tried not to wince. It honestly didn't matter WHAT color she was, but other people might not be so...not stary and stuffs. "Ye dinnae think anyone's goin' tae try tae dissect her, dae ye?"
Faiza thought it was funny, but didn't laugh. Doctor's training and all, "She's healthier than you are, Scotty."
"Get aff! I'm healthy! Shuttup!"
"Not as much as you think!"
"Anyone's dissecting her, it's me. After you both live natural lives." McCoy promised them, shaking his head. "Let's hope the bastards who would want that stay well away from all three of us, huh?"
"Its not like I'm an alien," Gaila said, laughing. Faiza eyedarted.
"Aye, I'd rather not have tae bust their arses. But I'd bloody well dae it, if it came doon tae it. Sae, I guess this means...just...wait it out then." Scotty did cast a grin over at Gaila like that was funny. "Yer strange, but not an alien."
"Heres the thing," Faiza walked over to him. "We don't know how long she'll be like this."
"..what? I have to go see Uhura tomorrow!"
"Ye mean it's permanent?"
Faiza glanced at McCoy.
"I don't know if I'd be saying that exactly." McCoy frowned, "But I also haven't heard of anything like this before." Pause. "I'm not trying to make it worse, but only possible solution to it I can think of involves an old priest and a young one."
"I don't need an exorcism!" Gaila's eyes widened. This brought back nightmares from catholic school!
"If anyone says anything about the devil, we might have issues. And someone went there," Scotty said, with an exasperated sigh. "This' because of the bloody DOG, isnae it? It's not the doggie's fault!"
It was other him from another universe's fault.
Faiza tilted her head, "Maybe its related?"
"...I doubt it. Why would some other me from...we shouldnae talk about this in front of McCoy, he's goin' tae think we're insane. More than usual."
"Some other you?" Gaila looked at Scotty like he was crazy. And she was green.
"It's not the devil," reiterated Scotty, and he looked like he didn't really want to budge on further admissions, for fear of being placed in an mental ward.
"I'm GREEN! And what about that computer??"
"What the hell there's two of you?" McCoy asked Scotty, trying to keep up. "And that's because there's a dog? Somebody should back up."
"The cats out of the bag," Faiza said. At least she hadn't said dog.
"ALL RIGHT, FINE! SHUTTUP AAWL AF YE!!!" Up went Scotty's hands, and he took in a deep breath to try to start to explain, now that he had everyone's attention.
"I bumped me head an' then, while Faiza an' Gaila's mum was there, this sparkly windy whizzy wind chime thing happened an' poof, there was this beagle doggie. That, I think, other me in an other dimension or alternate universe build something tae dae that an' sent it there, because the bloody dog recognized me, as well as things I eat that he tends tae like, sae other me must've been bribing the dog, like as a test subject. Which I wouldnae put past me. Sae now there's a beagle dog back at me flat, and...oh! I had this bizarre dream where we were at a sci-fi con but I wasnae in costume and it was BLOODY EMBARRASSING because I was the lame arse that left mine behind...an' ye were there McCoy, an' sae was Sulu, an' Gaila's friend with the giraffe neck, and Kirk was hoggin' the bloody spotlight as usual, because he's an arse. After he got beat up, by some pointy-eared bastard. ANYWAY...
"THEN, ye know, I opened up me tech manuals today and they look like something some stone age retard put together, which was ODD, by the way, because those are CURRENT technical journals. They SHOULDNAE look that way. And then, ye know...she wakes up with super computer, i-whatever-pad-of-awesome, and starts turning green in front of me eyes. As well, I have tae watch the dog until other me comes tae get him, sae I can get questions answered on what caused the whole mess. AND THAT IS ALL THAT I KNOW. Or guess that I know, as it's only hypothetical," he finished, finally, and folded both arms over himself, defensively.
"..what...?" Gaila stared.
Scotty just pointed over at Faiza like he had a witness.
"...I don't know about the rest of it, but he did fall and hit his head and while we were standing there, this beagle just teleports right in!"
"Not crazy," said Scotty. "She saw it as well." And so did Gaila's mom, so that's THREE people. Take that! Non-insanity!
Faiza nodded her head, "I'd chalk it up to him hitting his head but...I saw it."
McCoy took a second, a whole second to parse that, then he blinked a couple times. "Aside the fact I'm feeling like I'm in some version of Wizard of Oz, little dog and all, anything going on?" he asked them, shaking his head. "Feels like I'm in some bizarre sort of shared hallucination and hell, I haven't seen most of it."
"Havenae a clue. That's the best I can make of it, and really, I think I just had that dream because Faiza gave me some sort of suspicious pain killer, probably laced with cholesterol medicines."
"It was just a basic painkiller!"
"Sae ye say, lass. Sae ye say."
"Scotty, I'm green, can you drop it? I'm GREEN!"
"What's tae drop! I'm more worried about ye than I am about a bloody pill that I'm not goin' tae take. Shite!" Think think think think think. He pointed up toward the ceiling. "I have tae build something, tae send meself tae wherever the other bastard me is, and make him fix this shite, or I'll punch me own other-me's face in."
Scotty. He's a problem solver.
"I"m not gonna say you're crazy," McCoy said, staring at him. "But other you entirely? I'm not sure that's even a thing. Past life you, maybe? ...FUTURE life you with the manuals?"
"Well...huh." Scotty stopped to think of that, still pointing with one hand, up toward the ceiling. "Ye know...maybe that could be the case, but that'd just make a huge mess, sending a dog back tae meself, and ruin the continuum. Ye know, time ripples. Ye foul up things in the past, blah blah blah. It's the basic rule of time travel, ye dunnae foul things up or ye could end up shagging yer grandmum and become yer own ancestor. Ye know?"
Faiza basically looked like she had a headache.
"Besides that, alternate parallel dimensions are possible. Hate tae tell ye that. It'd just be running concurrent alongside our own, sae ye just shift something sideways, rather than forward or back...it'd be easier, if ye really think on it."
"And the you in that universe knows us." McCoy considered that. "I guess there'd be enough simi..." Pause. "Dammit this just makes no SENSE. The world's asking us to accept...I don't like it. It's not LOGICAL."
"It could explain why Gaila turned green," Faiza offered. "By why not the rest of us?"
"What'd we do in this universe besides you, Scotty?" McCoy wondered, trying not to be curious but he did kind of want to know.
"Dinnae know. Anyway. Look. That's just one possible explanation. Something's been fouled up, maybe, somewhere, by other me, an' that, maybe, set it in motion. I mean, I cannae say. I mean, I'd have tae think on it some more. Maybe."
Gaila grabbed Scotty's cosplay coat, "Whatever, I'm going home and hiding."
"Oh, stoppit, dinnae be like that. We'll just...ye know what? Ye really like the color green, right? Ye won the lottery and got an all over body tattoo. There. Dyed yer skin. People have done worse, ye know! Like turned themselves intae cat faces or split their tongues sae they could look like a lizard snake person!"
She stared at Scotty like he was insane.
Faiza held up her hand, "That's not actually a bad idea. What if it was a bet?"
"Aye, ye know, there's tons of people that dae all over body tattoos. And all sorts of things. Ye look a whole fat lot better than they dae, tae. If this is permanent, ye cannae just stay HIDDEN for the rest of yer life, ye know."
"I'll just say it's paint." Gaila eyedarted. It would go away in a week, right?
"Aye, say it's paint. Dare gone wrong. That works." Scotty winced a little because it might not go away and she was just going to have to come up with another cover story.
Gaila wanted to kiss them. She was afraid they'd turn green.
He'd already grabbed hold of her hand before and hadn't turned green, so Scotty would've told her it was safe enough to go kissing everyone she wanted.
Nope, kissing wasn't happening.
Gaila nudged Faiza so she stumbled into McCoy, oops.
However, maybe she just needed some normal. Scotty smiled at her and then made the following suggestion, "Look, lets gae tae yer place, pick up some of yer things, and ye can stay with me for a wee while. We'll get some pizza, watch some movies, relax, work on the sub...play with yer computer....or ye could embarrass the shite oot of Faiza, ye know, whatever."
McCoy grinned a little sheepishly at Faiza, as he reached out a hand to help steady her. Though it resulted in more like he was holding her hand a second. Aww.
Faiza nearly flailed, but composed herself before she could. She fidgeted with her headscarf and steadied herself by grabbing McCoy's arm.
Gaila made <3 fingers behind her back.
"You all right there?" McCoy asked her, making sure. She could continue to steady herself if she wanted.
She wanted, oh allah she wanted.
Scotty snerked at Gaila's hands-heart and shook his head at her like she was horrible.
Faiza even rubbed that arm a bit.
"Okay, sae, we take the bus," Scotty whispered, and nodded his head in the direction of the door. That’d get her out of hiding forever now. Abruptly. "Anyone gives ye any shite, I'll hit them."
Scottish ninja tiptoeing in progress! He'd just send McCoy a text later on saying that if he wanted to stop by and inspect the dog, he could do that any time. Sounded like a plan! Only problem was, he's not a ninja. He's Scottish. And they're about as silent and invisible as a sledgehammer to the face.
"Where are you bloody going??"
"Disneyland?" was Scotty's answer.
"Yeah so I can scare the children."
"Aye, that. Teacup ride."
"Too bad it's not universal." Was McCoy's contribution. "Skinny princess Fiona and all."
"I liked Fiona," said Scotty, flatly. "Shrek was awesome."
"Yes," Faiza said dryly. "You're going to ride her teacup."
Scotty eyedarted like he didn't have a clue what Faiza meant by that.
"And could kick a lot of asses." McCoy nodded at the first statement. "Something to keep in mind." he added, giving Gaila a sympathetic smile. "She's a green badass after all. Why not you too?"
"I could be a green bad arse. Maybe I will be. Ye dinnae know. Other me from an alternate universe could bloody well be green. It could happen. Cheers for the help, both of ye. Even if there's no answers." And Scotty HUGGED them both, and kissed McCoy and then Fiaza on the cheek. "If ye want tae stop by an' see the doggie, McCoy, ye can, anytime. I'd show him tae ye right now, but yer in the middle o' a cuddle."
Gaila just stared at them and shook her head. This wasn't funny. She was green. And the scary part was that it felt... RIGHT.
That last part? McCoy was turning a color too. Only it was the color wheel opposite of green. For the record.
"I'm not cuddling anyone!" Faiza took a step away from McCoy..just a tiny one.
Scottish shite-eating grin. They're getting it. "I think we can show ourselves oot. I'm sae jealous, McCoy. Ye dinnae even realize." He hmphed and started to head toward the exit.
Faiza wished she wasn't' wearing white - it contrasted to what her skin was doing too well.
Were they cute, blushing like that? Aww.
Gaila mouthed to McCoy 'just kiss her already!'
"Stoppit, yer goin' tae ruin it. What's wrong with ye?" Scotty hiss whispered at her, like WHAT THE HELL, GAILA, WHAT THE HELL.
"They need ENCOURAGEMENT," she hissed back. Gaila couldn't explain it. She was hornier than she'd ever been in her LIFE.
"Yer just doin' that because ye want tae get laid, yerself," Scotty knowingly pointed out.
Gaila eyedarted. She was trying to fight the urge for once. But ever since the green thing happened....
Faiza, meanwhile, was oblivious. Scientific curiosity over Gaila plus McCoy presence!
McCoy glanced at Faiza, and shook his head a little. "I think our friends have designs on our future. Instead of standing here being awkward, or me doing something that it's way too soon for, we should have that tea you mentioned once."
"I'dreallylikethatLeo."
"Okie dokey, we're leaving. If ye need us, please, dinnae hesitate tae call. Either of ye." He grinned and took hold of Gaila's hand, oh yes he did, and they are out that door so those two could have some tea swilling fun times!
Faiza played with her hijab, "Isnowokay?"
"Now sounds awesome." McCoy managed not to stammer or anything, though his accent got a little more pronounced.
His accent was adorable, "Shall we meet somewhere or take the same car?"
"I wouldn't mind driving down with you if that's not problematic." Little grin.
"Great!" She locked up and led him out to her Porsche!