InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Do you love me?"

Marian Hawke attracts a curious type of fortune. (justoneweek) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2012-07-06 15:45:00

Entry tags:

!complete, fenris, marian hawke

WHO: Marian Hawke & Fenris
WHAT: All That Remains
WHEN: Late Friday/Early Saturday Morning
WHERE: Marian's apartment
WARNINGS: Discussions of character death, adult situations and general not-okay-for-childreness.

Marian had never understood the phrase 'feeling numb' before this moment. As she sat in her apartment, staring at the wall, she felt nothing. The nothing was a feeling in itself; there was a void that wouldn't be filled no matter what she tried. Hawke knew it already.

She had dreamed of her mother's death, and it had happened.

The notebook had been claimed for evidence, but Marian had told some of the contents and assured she would receive it back after the investigation.

Anger, sadness, anything would be better than this. Any feeling to replace feeling absolutely nothing at all.

Her mother was dead. And she hadn't been able to stop it this time either.

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onlytheliving
2012-07-07 12:33 am UTC (link)

For all the time he'd spent with her, Fenris couldn't remember a time when he'd ever seen Hawke like this. True, he'd seen her angry before, but never to a level like this. Never to a level where she seemed more angry at herself than anything or anyone else.

"You couldn't have known. Our dreams don't always reflect what actually goes on," if they did, the world would've been a far more terrifying and dark place.

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	justoneweek 2012-07-07 12:46 am UTC (link)
	"But they did," Hawke mumbled against his neck, her shoulders shaking in suppressed rage. "They did, we had a warning and I didn't heed it." It was her fault. Her mother was dead again and it was her own fault. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlytheliving 2012-07-07 02:21 am UTC (link)
	"If all the dreams are warnings, we'd best be on the look out for Magisters and rampaging Qunari." Now probably wasn't the best time for sarcasm, but he could hardly help himself. Call it a bad trait. "You can't blame yourself for everything, Hawke." Although, at this rate, it seemed like she'd blame herself for everything she could and then some. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justoneweek 2012-07-07 02:27 am UTC (link)
	Hawke just clung to him, even if she was somewhat ashamed to admit it. At least it was feeling. "You say that, and maybe we should. Bethy is doing magic, I find the armor, Mother..." She couldn't keep talking. It hurt, it felt like she was ripping her heart from her chest. She had to find a way to shut herself up, to stop thinking. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlytheliving 2012-07-07 02:43 am UTC (link)
	There was only one thing Fenris could think to do to stop that train of thought in its tracks. Steeling himself for the inevitable slapping, he pulled her into a kiss. Hey, there were worse things he could do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justoneweek 2012-07-07 02:49 am UTC (link)
	It shouldn't have surprised her. They had been dancing around this subject for weeks. And frankly, Hawke wanted him. She wanted him to make the numb feeling vanish, get burned away, and half a dozen other things that Varric would likely write about later. "Fenris, please..." she was begging him not to stop. Not to leave. Anything but that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlytheliving 2012-07-07 02:57 pm UTC (link)
	It was inevitable that one of them would've had to make the first move. Fenris was just speeding up the process by being the one to take that first step - it was clear that Hawke needed distraction, and this was just one way to go about it. "Let me help take the pain away." It wouldn't last, he knew, but there had to be something he could do for her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justoneweek
2012-07-07 04:27 pm UTC (link)

Marian nodded, kissing him back as she all but drug him to her bedroom. It was time for this step any way, and Hawke pushed the fears aside.

He wouldn't leave. He just couldn't this time.

If you had asked her, Marian would have said it was so much better than any dream. As she fell asleep in his arms, she managed to push the horror of the day away, if only for a bit.

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onlytheliving
2012-07-07 05:05 pm UTC (link)

Fate had a curious way of conspiring against them. Whilst Fenris slept, it was a broken sleep - the events in the slaver caverns replayed through his mind once more, waking him as it always seemed to.

It seemed almost unfair that his dreams would do that. True, they rarely bothered him now, but the fractured sleep was a pain. He moved to lightly brush his fingers through Hawke's hair, but something stopped him short.

The markings from his dreams were bleeding through. The patterns up his arm, not fading away like they'd done before... he swore under his breath, slipping out of the bed.

He couldn't face this. Couldn't face her. He'd never had the blighted dreams until recently, and coming closer to her just seemed to make it worse...

He quickly got dressed and slipped out of the apartment. She'd probably kill him for this, but that would likely be a mercy if the markings were to spread.

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justoneweek
2012-07-07 06:19 pm UTC (link)

When Marian woke up, she was alone.

Staring at the ceiling, she tried to not give in to what felt more and more like the inevitability of it all. Fenris had left. Her mother was dead.

And she remained.

Bethy had told her of the staff and her own magic. Marian hadn't put on that armor, not even once, even though she knew what would happen when she did. Getting out of bed, she opened her closet, removing almost gently the Raiment of the Champion.

With a snap of her fingers, the fiery orb materialized. Hawke wasn't surprised.

Something was coming, and it needed not one Champion, but two. She hoped Garrett and the others were ready.

Marian's needs simply would wait.

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