Varda is a sparkle junky (elentari) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-05-16 17:02:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, faramir, varda |
"So what would the starkindler ask of me?"
Who: Varda, Faramir
What: Seeking advice, discussing their canon lives.
When: Today, around 3:30
Where: Baxter's!
Rating/Warnings: Family Friendly.
Status: Complete!
Varda had met him for coffee before, and Faramir expected the same sort of pleasant conversation that they always had. Of course, she had hinted that it was something she wasn’t keen on telling Boromir yet, so that made him a little more curious than the norm.
Faramir was even looking at her, curiously, after they had sat down at their usual table and ordered their coffee. After a moment’s worth of silent deliberation, he decided to ask about it, in as polite and unpushy a way as he could manage.
“I know you wished to speak of some matter of import,” he said, “and I do not want it to overshadow our usual pleasant conversation. If you can not tell Boromir, as of yet, then I hope it is nothing dire. And I give you my word that I will not speak of it to him before you do, not without your leave to do so.”
He really hoped it wasn’t some sort of ’I’m sorry but I can’t stand your brother’ discussion that was about to take place.
It was a meeting of rather grave import, that much seemed true. Usually, Varda was smiling and the picture of jubilant grace. Today, her thoughts seemed to weigh more heavily on her. In a sharp contrast to the darkness of her demeanor, however, was her skin. It almost seemed to glow, but it didn't look like she was wearing any different makeup than usual.
She nodded her head at Faramir after a few moments of silence, and spun her coffee mug around on the table, "I trust your discretion, Faramir, that was never in doubt. And I think you may find this to be interesting, actually. You dream of a place the same as your brother does, do you not? Arda?"
He didn't want to point out something about her...glow...because he wasn't certain if it was her makeup or not. So he merely cradled his hands around his coffee cup and nodded once, to let her know she was correct.
"I am familiar, and with Gondor, most specifically. If you know of what my brother dreams, then you should know that mine are much the same. It seems a hard and dire fate awaits us all. Do you know something about that, that we do not?"
He didn't want to guess at anything, since he wasn't able to rely on his insights as much as he was able to when he was dreaming. It wasn't safe to assume.
"I know that a long darkness has poisoned this world since its outset, and I know that your brother feels the weight of that darkness on his shoulders. He feels abandoned to his fate by the other peoples of Arda... And I know where that darkness comes from, and I know that this is not the first time your lands have faced it, nor will it be the last," Varda replied, her tone serious and sad.
She was sad for the two of them most of all, because she hadn't seen that far ahead, not in the dreams. She had only her own insights into the makings of the world and the nature of Melkor to know what was coming. She didn't even know if the two brothers would survive it.
Varda took a moment to sip at her coffee, then managed a smile, "But I want to say that all is not lost, only I haven't dreamed that far ahead, so I can't tell you anything with certainty. Not about that, at least."
No wonder she was so glowy! And if there was any sadness from Varda, it was one that was being openly shared. Faramir let out a heavy sigh, as though trying to shed off some of the emotional weight on his own shoulders. Or perhaps it was that he had been holding his breath while he listened, and read into what she was saying. He knew his lore, his father had been well-versed in what was left to them in the libraries, and Faramir had listened to all that Mithrandir had to say during his infrequent and rare visits (cryptic though it may have been). So it was now beyond suspect that this Varda must be that Varda, and he was in high and exalted company, indeed.
"I feel honored to have met you, even under such strange circumstance," he started to say, after a moment's pause to mull things over much more deeply. "But I do not know what your being here, now, might foretell, as much as I do not know what will happen in the dreams. I know that you worry for Boromir, and that the burden he feels in his dreams was very real and ever-present. It is a shared burden, but he chose to bear the brunt of it. He is a warrior. Warriors are in their element, in times of adversity or warfare. And so it was with him, which you can clearly see in his personality, now. He is forceful and prefers action over words, which worries me that he is holding some things within him, even from me."
He tried to smile a little in response, adding, "I know not what will happen, only that we see that poisonous darkness always in those dreams. And that all hope wanes. But they are dreams, and when we wake, there is no shadow here. I am grateful for that. So what would the starkindler ask of me? I cast a worried eye on my brother and have hired a bodyguard, a man of Rohan, to keep him safe from harm, in all the ways that I can think of."
"Please..." Varda shook her head at him, waving one hand in the air in front of her to ward off his esteem. She might be the Varda, but she still felt no less ordinary than anyone else in the world.
"...Yes, though, I think I am the Starkindler, and I have no idea what my presence here might mean. I feel like this world is lost, and may have been Arda at one time, or perhaps is the new world, and we discussed that when we went to dinner. Your brother, and me. But it only made him feel more sad. It's good, that you protect him like that. You're a different kind of Warrior, no less strong."
She paused and tucked some hair behind her ear, "I suppose what the Starkindler would ask... is simply, advice. You are a man of insight and knowledge, and Boromir is no less intelligent, but he reacts to things more rashly. And I fear that as I dream more, I won't be able to hide who or what I am. I'm already starting to glow in the dark, a bit."
With that, she chuckled and decided to turn her attention back towards her coffee.
It was going to be hard to ignore who and what she was, but they were friends first, and so Faramir reminded himself that she was asking this of him, as a friend.
"I would say so, although I too wish that I had more answers. I met one who told me of a multi-universe theory, and that also would make sense. If there is one Arda, there may be other versions, separate from the one we knew. And that might mean there are other versions of ourselves," he explained. "To me, it would seem as though some veil has grown thin between the two."
Faramir wasn't sure what other advice he might offer, other than noting that she really did seem fond of Boromir. He approved of this, but wondered as well what had happened to Manwe, or if that even mattered as much, considering this version of their selves might not match with what happened with their other counterparts. Once again he was reminded too of Eowyn, and that if they shared something elsewhere, then they might only be experiencing that bleed over, and it could end up as a mistake on both their parts.
"I think," he started to say, his voice soft and his own gaze directed down at the cup of coffee in his hands. "I think, that Boromir reacts rashly, because he is more adept at a hands on approach, and has less patience. While he is diving into the thick of things, I would rather observe first from off to one side, and judge how best to proceed, as fairly as possible. The trouble with my way of doing things, is that Boromir has already dove in before I can make an informed decision." He peeked up at her, grinning. "You will find it hard to hide your glow, as well. It is already showing. I think it is best to simply...embrace it and rejoice in the merging of such things, rather than reject it. That would only cause strife to one's self. But that is all that I can suggest, for you, one of the Valar themselves, are asking a mere man of Gondor for his thoughts on such things. You must forgive me. It will be difficult not to treat you with added reverence."
The theory about multiple universe and thinning veils made a lot of sense, and Varda decided to give it more thought. Obviously, they couldn't escape the fact that some of them were turning into those other people, at least in some way. She had been a mere mortal a few months ago, and now seemed to be turning into some kind of Goddess. Varda thought there were plenty of people who would have let something like that go to their heads, but she didn't want that to happen to her.
And there was the problem of Manwe, too. How did you stay in love with a ghost? Was he even here? They were halves of each other, but did that mean she wasn't allowed to find some other happiness? That wasn't a question for Faramir, she didn't think.
She chewed on her lip a bit as she thought, and then nodded her head, "I know, and it is hard not to let you act with more reverence. This is also hard to embrace without taking it too far. We aren't exactly in Aman, here, and my fellow Valar are nowhere to be found. So I feel like treating me as something above you is... a little uncalled for. Though I know you will, anyway. But... about Boromir. Do you think I should tell him, outright? Or should I allow him to draw his own conclusions? Only I worry about what conclusions he will draw on his own. And I really... I like him, Faramir. I don't want him to feel like he has to put me aside. And I don't want him to... as they say... 'freak out'."
It might not be a question for Faramir to answer. But it was a concern, because it concerned his brother. Since it wasn't a question for him to decide upon, he remained silent. If asked by either Varda or Boromir, he would offer his thoughts on the matter. Judgement on where to go from there, was best left to both parties that were involved in the situation. And since it concerned someone as long lived and wise as Varda, he wondered how something so unheard of as one of the Valar being with a Man (whose life wasn't gifted with such longevity) would even work out.
Despite such considerations, he liked Varda even before any of this happened, and he also liked the thought of her having the patience to even date his brother. What she chose to do with her life that she had now (since it was unsure if she was even -that- Varda, given that whole multi-universe theory and the subsequent bleed-over), was best left up to her, for better or worse. It was just the same as anyone else.
"It may be uncalled for, but you would still be considered a living embodiment, even vicariously. That is why I am hard pressed to offer advice in this instance," he admitted, speaking slowly and choosing his words carefully. "I am not wise in comparison to the likes of the Valar or Maiar. I would not even count myself as most wise, among the likes of Men. Much was lost of lore and wisdom, by the time we were born.
"However, I would say to anyone that it is best to be honest and forthright, with those you care for. I would say the same in this instance, unto you. If he 'freaks out', then have patience. He will make his own decisions, but he is not beyond reasoning with. If you say nothing, he will draw those conclusions on his own. It may not bode well if that happens. But that is only my thoughts on the matter, for what they are worth."
"They are worth a great deal, and I come to you for advice as Varda, the woman, not Varda, the Vala. You are his brother, and I felt that you were the best person to speak to, first. I am not the wisest person, ever, especially here in this realm. And most especially concerning matters with Boromir." Varda laughed, then, feeling like a great weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.
She could be at ease with Faramir at least, even if he was going to continue to speak to her so reverently. He knew who she was and what she was - if, indeed, she was any of those things at all - and there was no reason to pretend that none of this was happening.
That was a relief, in and of itself, "I should tell him when next we meet, then. It will be hard to hide, I think. Other than completely avoiding his company, which I am not sure I want to do."
Faramir felt incredibly flattered to be told such things by the likes of Varda, be she a woman or a Vala. He bowed his head a little in respect, if only for a moment for it seemed she wished to be treated as Varda the woman.
"You need not avoid him. It is likely he suspects. There, he swiftly became bored with his studies and only paid half of the attention he should have. The half that did not pay attention asked me for the answers or was too busy drawing battlefield maneuvers and depictions of him tearing the heads off of orcs and the tails off dragons."
At that, Faramir laughed, because that memory was a fond one from the dreams. Not all of them were filled with gloom or despair. And having Varda laugh and seem lighthearted served to lift his own spirits.
"He is a handful," he added, "but I am honored and grateful he is my brother, and I love and admire him for his positive attributes. He is noble, bold, and brave. At times, to me, he seems tireless, and he has high ambitions. It is not all negative things, such as his bellowing or brashness. So if and when you tell him, I would say to you both to simply be gentle and honest with one another. As it is, it is likely he may already guess something is amiss. And he will approach you first. Never count on him to wait."
The tale about how they were in their youth only served to lift Varda's spirits even higher, and she grinned at Faramir as she finished the last of her coffee, "You'll have to tell me more stories about the two of you as children. I can just imagine the kind of things he would have doodled, and your long suffering sigh every time you caught him at it, or had to get him up to speed."
Then she nodded. Boromir was a handful, but he was all of those other things as well, "Those are exactly the qualities that draw me to him, I have to admit. Few people actually see that in him, underneath all the bellowing and everything else. But you're right, and I think the best course of action might be to simply tell him as quickly as possible."
"Actually, he was able to keep my nose from being pressed into books all of the time," Faramir was all too happily clueing her in. "My sighs were not so long suffering, unless some damage to our home or furnishings happened. And then we had to combine forces in a cover up. Including in the dreams when we dropped trinkets from the top of the White Tower into the courtyard, below."
He had been taking drinks of coffee while listening to her speak, the entire time. After smiling and glancing down at his cup, he noticed it was nearly empty. Time had passed faster than he realized.
"Alas, our time grows short," he said with the utmost regret. "But you are most insightful, to notice such qualities in him, as I have. He is a good person at heart, even if he is loud or boastful. Tell him, with great haste. And should he be suspicious and ask me about you, I will not divulge the news which you need to give him, yourself. I give you my word."