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Dumat: The Dragon of Silence (nearestvessel) wrote in valarlogs,

He let out a heavy breath. "The first time...the first time was supposed to be the only time. It was once...something we were telling ourselves was getting it out of our system because there was too much building between us. It shouldn't have happened. I don't regret it, but it shouldn't have happened regardless of whether or not I love him. There were other ways for that to be expressed." He looked down at his feet and continued even softer.

"The second time it happened because I was in a lot of pain, because I needed to be somewhere anywhere safe that wasn't looking at my own fiancé or anyone remotely angelic. I trust Damon, and maybe I shouldn't, but I do. So I went to him, completely broken and in need of comfort that no one else I'm close to could provide. And it happened." He wasn't going to give her details, only context and not even much of that. "And I'm really, really sorry that this latest round of let's torture the littlest angel fell out on you."

He invited himself to sit on a chair, hoping that in sitting it would put them somewhat on more equal ground and not quite as intimidating as him hovering over her like that. "He was with me. He won't be again. I'm not under the delusion that my feelings in this matter at all. They don't. I could love both you and Damon until the stars themselves went out and it doesn't make you any more likely to forgive me or him...able to see me as anything other than..." Samandriel sighed heavily. "Something other than not worth his time." He'd seen Damon truly happy, yes, but some part of him suspected that Damon wouldn't have let things go as far as they had if he had any intention of actually keeping Samandriel around.