Who: Rukia and Byakuya What: The truth. When: Backdated ages ago. Where: Their place Rating: G Status: Complete
The last thing Byakuya wanted to dream about, was of Hisana dying again. When she had died, he had many dreams about her. But all of those were fleeting ‘what ifs’ and inner worries, about his promise to her, and how he would be able to take care of Rukia without Hisana there, for advice. He was ill equipped since he was so introverted.
And that made him even more ill equipped to deal with a dream of that magnitude, where he was holding his wife’s hands, and she asked him to do much the same thing, only to find Rukia, and then...she was gone.
He couldn’t sleep after that. He spent the night staring at the ceiling until dawn, and then tried to read in his study to get his mind off it. He tried calligraphy. He even went through some paperwork in the office. He even asked for breakfast in his office. Nothing seemed to be working. And he looked even more tired than before, along with his hair looking slightly longer than before. It was definitely more tousled looking, and the dark color perfectly matched the dark shadows under his eyes.
He is ignoring those are there, for as long as the entire county decides to let it go without a truthful mention that they might exist.
This was so not a good time. For some reason Rukia couldn’t lie to anyone, she kept having to tell the truth and it was annoying. Not that she liked lying, but it was much easier to keep things from her brother. And from other people as well. She’d already had the dream about meeting Renji, and now it was also her turn to dream about her sister’s death. The fact that she was adopted by the same man, and that he was the same in her dreams as here in real life.
She didn’t sleep much after that herself. In all it was a dangerous combination. She had gone to school and done her job and then came home only to take a nap and then grab something to eat. Eventually she decided to go find him and have a talk.
“I had a dream.”
After hours of trying to drown himself in finance and various enterprises or acquisitions in his office, Byakuya looked like he should have taken a nap. He hadn't. Somehow, he managed to keep the same aloof and detached expression, his stare tired but unwavering. It was his voice that was deep but weary sounding, as he answered.
"As have I." He nodded. Once, and only once. It was an indicator that he wanted to hear about it. "Come in, Rukia."
Only someone who had lived with the man might be able to tell that he hadn’t gotten any sleep. He looked like he had the first time he had one of those dreams. It wasn’t a good sign, but she didn’t really know what to do about it. Not like she could stop the dreams from happening.
She entered the room and shut the door behind her, before going to sit down in one of the chairs. “In your dreams, are you dead? Dead but not dead? I am. It’s weird. Like the afterlife is some kind of.. other place. Living all over again but not. Hisana died.. and I came to live with you. Just like.. well reality.”
Over the wall behind his desk was the wall scroll that Setsuna had made for him. He liked the penmanship. It's calligraphy and he likes calligraphy. That is all. That he will admit to.
Meanwhile, Byakuya didn't want to think about the dream, because it was like reliving it all over again. He had cared very deeply about Hisana here and just as much when he was in that other realm that was invading his dreams far too much lately. He closed his eyes for a long moment, unable to look at Rukia, since she so closely resembled Hisana that it was sometimes painful for him. At least he hid it well...or he thinks he's hiding it all well, but everyone else would say he's done the world's absolute worst job of doing that.
As he listened, he steeled himself with the thought that Hisana and Rukia were not the same and he shouldn't treat her as such. He had promises to keep and a duty to uphold. When those facts were firmly cemented in his mind, Byakuya finally opened his eyes and spoke in the same measured tone he normally used.
"Yes. I am dead. We all are. It is as though death is only another existence or life, in that other place. I was born there. You were not and neither was Hisana. When she died..." There was a small pause. It was a little hurdle for him to get over, since the truth telling was compelling him to continue, "...I promised her that I would find you and take you in, as a member of my family. That is what I did. And so it was the same, here. With much the same effect, although you did seem more appreciative there. Even if I was cold to you."
He made himself stop talking. He often felt brevity was best, but whatever influence the area was having on him, made him want to elaborate when he didn't want to.
As far as she was concerned, he was doing a good job of hiding his feelings. She generally saw him as a cold and unfeeling dick who didn’t care much about her or her sister when it came down to it. She knew that his willingness to look after her was strictly about some kind of weird honor he had. Too bad she couldn’t make him believe that that kind of thing was only for people much much older than her. To her, he pretty much couldn’t stand her, and the feeling was mutual.
“You were born dead? That’s.. messed up.” She didn’t really know what else to call it. Rukia stuck her hands in her pockets. “You’re just cold. And maybe I’m appreciative there because I have to be, because I’m dead. I know you don’t care, and I don’t care about you. Here or there. I just thought you’d like to know that I had a dream. Nothing bad happened, I don’t have to go home.”
Not yet anyway.
Her brother's face looked like it hardened in an instant. His brows knit together and he looked at her with what might be misconstrued as a glare, but was really his version of deep concern about what he was hearing. He really wasn't even aware that was what he was doing, either.
"If one thinks of the concept of new and old souls, then it is not so strange. Souls moved to and fro and back again," Byakuya explained, as best he could, even though it was what he had gathered made the most sense, after much careful thought about it. And after being unable to distract himself with reading or work. That part wasn't of any concern. The rest of what Rukia had said, was deeply concerning. "I never said that I did not care about you. In fact, since we are telling truths, my only difficulty was that you resemble Hisana so strongly. It made things difficult. At times, it still does. But I know you are not the same. If I did not care about you, then I would not have taken such measures to protect you, or see to it that you were taken care in a financial sense for the rest of your life. You are the last living link I have to your sister. I do not want any harm to come to you, if I can prevent it."
He simply wasn't good at showing it or expressing it, and he knew it. That hardened look swiftly left his face. He looked like he was at a loss for a few split seconds as his eyes widened about what he was saying, but he quickly regained his composure. He had to, since he now knew she didn't care about him. Showing emotions like that wasn't considered to be proper conduct, in public or in one on one meetings.
Since she couldn’t exactly read the looks on his face, from one to another, she didn’t know what to think. Ruka tended to think that he didn’t do much other than glare, so she took it at face value. He really had to work on his facial expressions. She tried not to look too scared or ready to back down. She had to be strong, even if they were both going crazy.
“I don’t think that I believe in things like that, but then I’ve had this dream..” So she didn’t know what she believed anymore. She went very quiet when he admitted that she looked too much like her sister. She had no idea what to say to him about that. It wasn’t like she could just change her appearance. If she could get away with not looking like her sister, she would. Honestly it was kind of creepy in a way. Because they were supposed to be brother and sister. They weren’t though. Not by blood. And not even by marriage anymore. Just law.
“You would have done that if my sister said it, even if you didn’t like me,” she protested. “That’s the thing. You see her. And not me. As a person. I’m just a thing to you. Something to be put on the shelf and looked after. As long as I don’t have bruises and I’m okay, then you don’t have to do anything else. Right?” She wanted him to admit that she was right.
"That is not true," he countered, and though that hardened expression wasn't on his face, but it was in his voice. He did not sound at all amused by that accusation. "You are not your sister. I am aware of the distinct line between you and her. And when I married her, you became a part of my family. Even if she had not asked, I would still watch over you accordingly and with equal concern."
In his mind, they were definitely like brother and sister, him and Rukia. Nothing more and nothing less.
"If you do not want to leave," Byakuya finished saying, "then I will not force you to. I do not know what to make of the dreams, but there is the possibility we are both already affected, and it may be inescapable."