Isabela of Rivain (rivainipirate) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-07-25 20:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, isabela, maia amell (the warden) |
Who: Maia Amell & Isabela
What: Drinking!
When: 7/24, evening
Where: A bar near where Isabela works
Rating: PG-13, language/innuendo
Status: Complete!
Isabela had gone for a drink with one of her stuntmen from work, talking mostly about his concerns. He’d left, and now she was sitting alone at the table, thinking. She hadn’t really ever been responsible for people before in a work capacity; she was pretty sure being a pirate queen in her dreams didn’t count, either. Unfortunately; she’d have liked to be responsible for a couple of her crewmen. Mm.
Maia wasn’t in the best of moods. She hadn’t been able to get in contact with Pam for several days now. She regretted not following the woman to her apartment, because she couldn’t pop in to check there. She didn’t know why it hurt so much, but it hurt more than she wanted it to.
She decided to console herself in drinks and perhaps the sub-par bosom of a woman who wasn’t Pam. Or a bloke. Really, Maia was never picky.
Isabela had paid her tab and was turning to go when she saw a familiar face walk in. “Maia?” She went over to make sure she wasn’t imagining things. “Hello, luv, how’s tricks?”
“Bela!” Maia brightened up a little bit, and walked over. “Tricks could be better, really. Haven’t slept well since Vegas, and now my...what-ever-she-is took off.” She made a face.
“Your whatever-she-is?” Isabela echoed. Maia had mentioned a woman when they’d been on Flemeth’s back, en route to the insanity. “Sounds like you could use a drink.” She gestured to a table; she figured Maia would probably go try and shag someone, which she couldn’t provide, but she could help with the alcohol.
“Hopefully something strong and mind-numbing,” she replied, nodding a little bit. Maia took a seat. “Well not too mind-numbing. I suppose I should keep some wits about me.”
“At least a few.” Isabela waved a waitress over and ordered another glass of wine for herself and whatever Maia wanted. “So, Vegas first. Have you tried sleeping pills, or going to speak to someone?” Nightmares were horrible, obviously.
“Sleeping pills might interact badly with my nightly scotch,” Maia replied. “I’m not that desperate yet. But I really should talk to someone. I’m not sure I want to.”
“Why not?” It wasn’t meant to be judgey, just a simple question. “I mean, if it’s just about Vegas. There are a few psychiatrists on this network; I’ve seen them.” Isabela hadn’t been all that haunted, in truth; she’d seen her share of horrible things in her dreams already.
“It’s mostly about Vegas. I think. I don’t really know. I mean you know about the Deep Roads, right?” Everyone just about did, but she didn’t know the extent of Isabela’s exploration of them. “I guess when I saw those spikes, I was reminded what I found down there, with the broodmother and how Darkspawn are formed. Can you get PTSD from dreams?”
“Probably.” Isabela grimaced. “And yes, I know about them. Never went all that far into them myself, but I know what you lot do there.” The Wardens, she meant. “Hawke, Varric and I encountered a few Wardens on a mining expedition. And I heard enough stories.”
She nodded her head. “I was trying to get the dwarves of Orzammar to join me against the Blight. I had to go find this anvil they used to use to make Golems. Had one of them on my team, as it were. Turns out they put dwarf souls into the golems to make them work. Also learned first hand where baby darkspawn come from.”
Isabela winced. “Ugh.”
“Ugh is a good way of putting it,” she replied, grabbing for her drink as soon as it arrived.
“Is it just now you’re starting to dream of this?” Isabela asked. “I mean, did Vegas bring it all up? Or were you having these dreams before?” Because if Maia was only just having these dreams, she needed to talk to someone, anyone. Maybe not even a shrink, but she had said her ... fling? Girlfriend? Whatever? ... had decamped.
“I’ve dreamed of it before, but I sort of..it never felt as real before. Not until Vegas. Then it all..comes rushing back to me, vivid and bloody.” Maia waved her hand, like she was trying to find a way to elaborate. “I could bloody separate before. The Warden and the Librarian. Be different people. I feel like I’m losing myself.” She knocked back a long drink. “I hear the whispering.”
“The whispering?” Isabela echoed. She didn’t somehow want to continue, but she had a sneaking suspicion. “Bloody hell. Already?” Didn’t that only happen later on in a warden’s life? Or was she getting everything confused again? Either way it was bad.
"That's supposed to yes. But this is more like...When I first joined. From what I understand I'll get used to it, until it's time for my calling." She gripped her glass more tightly. "I don't know what this means. Will there be Darkspawn? What if there are no Darkspawn and I have the Calling?"
She tried to ransack her memory. “I don’t know,” Isabela had to admit. “I don’t know where you’d be intended to go.” She drank a bit more wine, shaking her head. “I wish there were more people who’d understand. I only know of Flemeth and Hawke, and Hawke wasn’t a Warden. Her brother was.”
"It's a rough life," Maia said, nodding her head. "You make choices you might not be comfortable with, but they're the choices that make the most sense, even if some people might disagree with your methods."
She had to ask. “Is that what happened with your lady?”
"Which one?" She blinked at Isabela, unsure if she meant Pam, or Leliana or Morrigan. "Pam isn't..really my lady. Not really." It sounded like she she was trying to convince herself of that.
Isabela could tell. “You want her to be,” she said. “Or she is, and you haven’t made it official.” She wasn’t trying to be an arse, even; it just seemed to be the case.
“And what if I do? It’s never happening.” Maia shook her head. “Trying to tie either of us down is a crime against women. And men in my case I suppose.”
“My dear, if you didn’t care about her, you wouldn’t be moping about it never happening.” Isabela shook her head right back.
She made a comically annoyed face. “Shut it!”
“And now you’re stonewalling because you know I’m right.” Isabela raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Maia, let’s try to get you some help for the dreams, first. Have you talked at all to Flemeth? You know she could help.”
“I...well I did about the magic, since....well witchy demon dragon lady and all.” Maia took another sip of her drink. “Not about this. Not really. I suppose I should. Isn’t that nutters though?” She tilted her head. “Getting advice from a dragon.”
“She can help with the dreams.” Isabela repeated. “I have no idea if she can help with the girlfriend, but she can do amazing things with the dreams.”
“I just want to separate it again,” Maia whispered, looking down into her pint. “I think I can deal with Pam if I can separate it again. Wherever the hell she ran off to.”
“Separate what, the life and the dreams? I don’t bloody blame you.” Isabela shook her head again. “I don’t know why mine don’t work the same way. God knows I’ve had enough mad ones. Recently I dreamt about escaping Kirkwall in the midst of civil war.”
“From what I’ve heard, civil war is the last thing Kirkwall needs.” She wrinkled her nose. “Had enough of a taste of that in Ferelden.”
“The way it went in my dreams, it was the mages stirring up trouble against the templars.” Isabela’s face and voice were sober for once. “Something really awful happened and the mages were blamed.”
"We're always blamed." She twirled her hand, trailing ice in the air as she did so. Her expression was a little dark. "Bloody templars deserve just about anything they get. Especially Cullen."
“Cullen?” Isabela echoed. “I don’t know that name.”
"Templar that liked to get a little too friendly sometimes. His real problem was how much he hated us. Like me hating Manchester United hatred."
Isabela laughed. “The old joke is that there are three Premier League teams with swear words in their names: Scunthorpe, Arsenal and Manchester Fucking United.” She finished off her wine, ordering one more. “If he hated you, did he just think he could get a quick shag?”
"I don't really know. You know how you could love someone and hate someone at the same time?" Maia asked. "I think I was that to him. Maybe he looked at me and couldn't keep up the hatred, and that made him hate me more. I don't know. I don’t really want to psychoanalyze him."
“Well, bugger him, then. I wish we knew more about your Pamela.” Isabela grimaced. “I didn’t know her, but maybe Flemeth did? She knows everyone.” She just genuinely liked the other girl, and wanted her to be happier. Not haunted.
“She did. Don’t know how well.” Maia made another face. “Spose I’ll talk to her. When I’m a little less blitzed.” Maybe she’d seek out Dani again. She couldn’t stop thinking about Pam even then, but it was worth a shot.
“She did know your Pam? Then what’s stopping you speaking with her?” It didn’t make sense, not to Isabela. If you liked someone and they liked you, then you bloody went for it.
“I’m a damned coward.”
“At least you’re honest?” Isabela quirked her mouth cynically.
Maia laughed. “Well, I suppose. She might have some advice. It’ll probably be to get off my arse.”
“As well you bloody should.” Isabela laughed, getting her next drink of wine. “All joking aside, luv. There’s no reason to suffer from nightmares and hallucinations, and on top of that be missing the person you’re fond of.” She put it like that if only so Maia didn’t get shirty about not fancying the woman or whatever.
"I'd like to be on top of the person that's missing who I'm fond of," Maia replied, with a sigh. "That native bird though...almost makes me forget. Almost."
“Native bird?” Isabela grinned. “That is rather nice, at least.” She did appreciate a pretty woman, even though she was happy to marry Atton.
“Mm... Cherokee or Cheyenne or something. One of the “c” ones.” Maia giggled. “That’s not cheating is it? Pam and I aren’t a thing..”
“I don’t think so. I hope she doesn’t think so either.” Isabela chuckled.
“Fuck.” She licked her lips. “I suppose I should cut things off with Dani. After another shag or two anyway. Assuming Pam ever shows her face again. I don’t even know where she lives.”
Isabela shrugged. “If you like her, you should tell her what’s what - that you fancy someone else, and you’re trying to work it out. You just don’t want to wind up in a spot where you have two ladies fancying you and expecting something.” She’d been there - and it had wound up ugly. It was why she didn’t usually like fancying anyone.
Maia made that face again. It was like she’d just been told something she didn’t want to hear.
Which she hadn’t.
“I doubt Pam feels the same way anyway. Or she wouldn’t have just..taken off.”
“You don’t know that. I had a bloke run away and not talk to me for a month because he didn’t want me to find out that he had a child and its mother was in town. I mean.” Isabela made a face too. “If she has something she doesn’t want you to know, that’s not brilliant either, but it’s better than just not being interested.”
“I suppose I should find her and strap her to one of her own toys until she talks then,” Maia joked.
“What does she do where she has toys?” Isabela laughed. “But I really don’t think it’s a horrid idea to post to the valarnet or something and be like ‘Look, I deserve an explanation.’ Because you bloody well do. Sorry, Maia dear, but you fancy her, and it’s writ plain on your face.”
Maia smirked. “You’ve seen that woman on the net who talked about a dungeon, right? I know it’s probably rather stupid to fancy a woman like that.”
“Well, then, you’ve done something stupid.” Isabela shot back amiably.
Maia shook her head, and declined another drink. “Then. I’m screwed.”
Isabela actually was sympathetic, resting her hand on Maia’s arm. “Come on, luv. Talk to Flemeth, or someone, and find her. And then if or when she says to piss off, then go have lots of rampant sex with the Native American bird. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
“I’ll probably have some rampant sex first in case I never get to again,” Maia said, only half-joking.”One last wild fling as it were.”
“Why would you never get any sex again?” Isabela raised an eyebrow. “EIther way, you get a bird that seems fond of you.”
“I meant with Native American woman with fantastic knockers.” Maia darted her eyes. “Because if Pam … does want more, then Maia Amell’s shagging around days are over.”
She spoke like the apocalypse was nigh.
Isabela might have been just a tiny bit tipsy, but she laughed. “Maia, dear, you’re fucked. And only maybe possibly in the fun way.”
Maia lifted her pint and clicked it against Isabela’s. Or perhaps a little bit to the left. “I’ll drink to that!”
“Don’t drink too much, or you can’t shag right. You get distracted.” Isabela said sagely. “But at least we don’t get whisky dick.”
That started Maia giggling uncontrollably. Every time she got herself under control, the tone in Isabela’s voice came back to her and she started all over again.
“What?” Isabela said, maybe a little too loud. “What?” She giggled at Maia giggling.
“Whiskey dick!” Maia shouted, at the top of her lungs!
That got every damn eye in the place on them, and Isabela laughed, shaking her head. “Come on, let’s go before you get me tossed out of my favourite bar.” She reached in her purse to fumble for bills. “Finish your pint, you twat.”
“Oh shut it, Isabela.” Maia snerked, and finished her pint. She got to her feet and put an arm around Bela’s shoulder.
“I will not shut it! You shut it!” Isabela made a face. “Come on. Home.”
“Yes’m...” Maia stumbled a bit, then giggled again. This was....a good day. Mostly. Oh Pam, where are you?